To feel really upset that a mum sent her child to school ill again

[Yesitismeagain]

I work in a primary school. One boy (age 9) cried today because he felt so unwell. He was ill yesterday (temperature and feeling ill with it) and his parents were called early, but they didn't come till normal pick up.

Today he was back in, but was obviously very unwell from the start. The school phoned by 9.30am to come and get him. He was crying, shivering and just lying on the floor in the 'sick room' (a small room off the office).

By 2pm a parent still hadn't arrived. The office were told that the neither parent could come as they work.

Is it just me that this is neglect?

Peruvian, I was quoting your post about sick bays at 18.34.

No idea who quoted a list about what schools "have" to provide, but it's irrelevant who said it. The reality is few, if any, primary schools will have the space for a proper medical room.

If you call a doctor for advice about a child with flu-like symptoms and a temperature, they're highly likely to say "send them home to bed and give Calpol." Oh, wait....

There health isn't "jeopardised" if the don't receive calpol though. They will have the flu for the same length of time whether they receive calpol or not.

There Their

Marynary, you keep sliding away from the facts in the OP. This isn't a situation where all the parent did was to fail to turn up to collect their child. This is a situation where they did that one day; the child was still ill the next morning but they took him to school; and when they received the call from the school about that, they failed to turn up for 5 hours, and indeed even 5 hours later were still saying they couldn't get away from work. It was suggested that that didn't really matter because their child wasn't that ill; I pointed out that they could hardly know that, nor could they know that he would not deteriorate.

I didn't suggest you had said that it was fine for a parent to dump a seriously ill child at school. What I said was that at the point these parents dumped this child, for all they knew he could be cooking a serious illness, and they certainly couldn't decide on the basis of a phone call that he wasn't and he was fine to be left there for over five hours. And your response was that none of that mattered because if he did turn out to be seriously ill the school would have to get medical help for him. Sure, in an emergency the school would have to call an ambulance. The point is that, having been told your child is ill, any adequate parent wouldn't sit back and refuse to collect knowing that it might become an emergency but they can still leave that to the school to deal with it.

I really don't understand how, in your book, any of that is OK.

If my child had flu symptoms and a raised temperature, I would not be happy about leaving them in school on a hard chair in a draughty photo-copying room/reception/wherever. I'd make damn sure I had them picked up (by me, dh or someone close to us) and taken home to bed asap.

"Their health isn't "jeopardised" if they don't receive calpol though." No, and I'm not talking about jeopardising them. I'm talking about basic levels of parental care. I would be extremely grateful to the school for holding the fort whilst I got there as soon as I could (or someone stepped in for me) but I certainly wouldn't be arsey to the school saying "tough, I work, I'm not coming."

If my child had flu symptoms and a raised temperature, I would not be happy about leaving them in school on a hard chair in a draughty photo-copying room/reception/wherever. I'd make damn sure I had them picked up (by me, dh or someone close to us) and taken home to bed asap.

It wouldn't jeoporidse their health though to be in the school with the flu though.

And Calpol can alleviate some of the symptoms and provide relief. The longer they're left in school, the longer until they get that relief.

Who's talking about jeopardising, ffs!

clam Icimoi did say that parent who left their children at school were jeopardising their health though. My point was that it wouldn't have an effect if it was flu and if the were more seriously ill the school should get medical attention for the child.

Although it might be jeopardising the health of all the other children/adults they're infecting with their germs, mind you.

It is cruel to leave a child like that. End of.

When you are ill you want your bed and some calpol and someone who knows you properly.

How let down must that child feel 5 hours is an eternity when you are a child with nothing to do but wait for a parent who isn't coming.

I would hope at least the HT calls them in and shames them.

The instant- was aimed at the op saying 30min which is about as practical as in the instant to most parents.
I was at school mid 80-90s
The gov site was updated in november.

I wouldnt interpret it to mean a staffroom or corridor (with sink??)

Icimoi We don't know the full situation with the parents in the OP e.g why they didn't collect the child. Therefore I thought we were discussing in general whether it is always neglectful to not collect the child straight away. Again I didn't say that it was okay for a parent to leave a seriously ill child at school. That obviously isn't something any good parent would do. That said, I don't think that it should mean the the child suffers serious harm as a result as the school should for the child's sake call seek medical attention in an emergency.

marynary it is possible their lt MH might be jeopardised by realising at the point where they quite possibly felt the worst they had ever felt in their life their parents abandoned them.

Not to mention you just can't know...my dv had an illness That the nursery reported as probably nothing but you never know. So i left work and picked her up.When I took her to the hospital it turned out it was potentially life threatening.

It may remind you of that situation, Ici, but it is very standard to find and pay for regular after school care and very much harder to source and pay for emergency care on standby all year but only actually used once or twice if that.

Apologies and warnings in advance in case this is triggering.

There was an awful case a few years ago when a child had a fall in the playground at school and fell over hitting her stomach on something solid there. She went in to first aid saying she didn't feel well but there were no obvious injuries, but the school kept her there. However, subsequently her condition deteriorated suddenly and the school called an ambulance. It turned out she had a ruptured liver and, incredibly tragically, she died in hospital.

I'm wondering how that would translate for some of the posters here. Just to be absolutely clear, what follows is purely fictional and is definitely not what happened in that case.

Postulate a situation where things developed more slowly. The child fell over on the way into school, complained of feeling unwell, but the parents felt they had to get to work so crossed their fingers, shoved her through the doors and ran. Then half an hour later they get the call to say she's unwell and is lying on the floor and sobbing. Oh well, they say, it's probably nothing serious, and if it becomes serious the school will call an ambulance. The school keeps calling them to say she's still unwell, the parents say to themselves that it's probably only a bit of bruising, the school don't seem to be panicking, she's getting no worse. So they say sorry, can't get away from work, and put the phone down. Then the next call is to say that she's had that sudden deterioration, the school has called an ambulance. At that point, one hopes, they would suddenly find that they could get away from work. Only, because they haven't even started their journey back, it's still going to take them a long time. And by the time they make it to the hospital, she's died.

Yes, in that scenario she would possibly have died anyway even if the parents had taken her back home. But imagine being the parents, living forever with the fact that you put your work first, and because of that your child spent her last hours in pain and looked after by strangers without you there.

It may well not jeopardise the child's health to be sitting on a hard chair in a school office if they have flu. But the parents in their workplaces miles refusing to move don't know that they've only got flu, do they? Suppose it turns out to be early stage pleurisy or meningitis? And it's hardly going to help them to recover from that flu quickly, is it?

Not to mention you just can't know...my dv had an illness That the nursery reported as probably nothing but you never know. So i left work and picked her up.When I took her to the hospital it turned out it was potentially life threatening.

As I said, it shouldn't jeopardise the child's health.

Aknickerful, I'm not saying that a parent has to pay to keep someone on standby in case your child gets ill. What I am saying is that, as a parent, you cannot decide not to have a reliable back-up in place simply because you will instead dump the problem on the school. Yes, of course any parent may have apparently reliable contingency arrangements which fail for unforeseeably reasons. However, it isn't unforeseeable that a friend who has their own children will be unwilling to look after your potentially infectious child. And if they are unwilling, why on earth should a school with responsibility for hundreds of children have that risk imposed on them? Why should their staff, who may have children of their own, be exposed for hours on end to your child's infection?

And if you are in a health care job - where the reality is that, unless you are someone like a surgeon half way through a complex operation, you undoubtedly will be allowed to leave work - then, when your contingency plans fail, leave work is what you have to do. That is the responsibility you took on when you had a child.

Ici, of course you'd feel utterly shit if that happened.

999 times out of a 1000 though, a child sitting in the school office feeling crap is (a) picked up in less than 5 hours and (b) is fine in a day or so.

So on that basis, how many strikes would you give parents in your system? More than two hours once and they are out? Uncontactable for 30 mins and they're off?