To feel really upset that a mum sent her child to school ill again

[Yesitismeagain]

I work in a primary school. One boy (age 9) cried today because he felt so unwell. He was ill yesterday (temperature and feeling ill with it) and his parents were called early, but they didn't come till normal pick up.

Today he was back in, but was obviously very unwell from the start. The school phoned by 9.30am to come and get him. He was crying, shivering and just lying on the floor in the 'sick room' (a small room off the office).

By 2pm a parent still hadn't arrived. The office were told that the neither parent could come as they work.

Is it just me that this is neglect?

Neglect? Asked OP.

Safeguarding issue?
Contacting SS?
Other posters asked.

I can't believe you are even asking. Clearly you have no idea what neglect us, or any safeguarding training.

I'm not saying this is ok. Hardly great parenting. Not something to be encouraged.
But really. The Head needs to deal with this. That is ALL.

Muskey, if parents send an ill child to school who should be at home then of course they are shit parents. Unfair to everyone, especially the child. I don't see how anyone could argue otherwise.

My DCs both missed a lot of school through asthma. When the school phoned I, or Dh, was there quickly. Asthmatic DCs can get very ill very quickly and it would be unfair to expect the school to deal with it. That's my job.

You are just such a warm kind and caring person mythical

Isnt it normal to be warm kind and caring to your own childrem

So you are telling me that either of you have never sent your dc to school unless they were 100%. You are both remarkable human beings. This shit parent is going to pick my child up from school now as despite having a cough I sent her in anyway.

Of course I never sent my DCs into school when they were too ill. That's because I'm a warm and caring person and it wouldn't be fair to the DC or the teachers or the other children.

I have sent my DC in when I have thought they are not to ill..Mentioned to the teacher if they get worse call me and I will collect them... I have never been called...

That is not to say people don't send there children to school expecting them to be perfectly well and they go down hill..It happens..

I do know people who send children into school for the school to decide if they are well enough it is not for the school to decide..I make a descision if my child is well enough.

But its not all or nothing Roland. I have worked 0.6 for 6 years while dcs have been at primary school,dh did 2 days a week from home. Out of a 40 year career that's nothing. However I do think both parents have to take.some responsibility for dcs which includes pick ups of sick children. One good thing about the nhs is they do allow flexible and part time working.

Of course I have muskey, I didn't say otherwise.
I've never sent them in when I've judged they should be at home and if called to say they're sick i Or dh gets there asap

If there weren't so many employers who make balancing work and life incredibly difficult, this wouldn't be an issue. Sick child at school for a few hours v's parent potentially losing their job, that's the reality for lots of people.

The soonest I can pick DS up (from pre-school) is an hour, same for DH. We have no local family (all several hours away and working) and all my friends also work and have their own children to look after around their shifts. That's just life. It's not being a shit parent, it's doing the best you can in less than ideal circumstances.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply your work was nothing. It is a vital service. I was referring to sacrificing pension contributions.

I just disagree Roland that a parent should work part time or antisocial for years on end to cover a call from school once or twice a year.

And we have no idea about the parents in the OP - maybe a set of grandparents moved away or died recently, meaning their back up plan was gone. As I said above, maybe anothe colleague called in sick and they were juggling toomuch work. Or maybe they are uncaring.

I suspect that the emergency backup who is available all day, everyday, ready to speed to school at the drop of a hat, who is never ill themselves, who never has prior commitments, is as mythical as the MN mythical chicken.

Are you sure the office actually reached the parents OP? My DD was a bit off colour and school decided to send her home mid-morning. The school secretaries left several messages on my home phone (they know I work but it was the first no on the list). An hour or so later they tried my mobile. Of course, by then, I was an hours drive away in a meeting in a building where my mobile didn't work. I picked up the message when I left work at 5.30, by which time I also had calls from the afterschool club and an upset dd who thought I had abandoned her. There is no-one else they could have called. (They could have called my office number where my colleagues would have tracked me down but they didn't think of that).
But totally agree if the lad had a temperature and was obviously unwell he shouldn't have been sent to school.

I hate this assumption that the mum and not the *parents I couldn't get to school within half an hour most of the time and I'm a SAHM. And even when I'm home the system isn't infallible. One of my DCs was sick at school at lunchtime. The school called me, but for some reason my phone didn't ring and I didn't see the voicemail until I went t the school at pick up and they told me. For some reason they only tried calling me once, they didn't try any of the other 4 contacts we had given them and they had her join the class again later in the day.

I does sound like the parents used the school on this occasion, but I wouldn't call it neglect as such. We don't know what the child was like first thing in the morning and being at school instead of home isn't a danger to him. It may have been a terrible way to treat the school, but the child was not in danger. A some schools have been trying to usurp parental responsibility in regard to deciding how sick a child is, so if the school is one of those I don't even think it's a terrible way to treat the school.

Not sure what happened to the first sentence in my post^^, but it wasn't anything that hadn't been said before.

I think the other really salient point is that the parents had a good idea that the dc would need collecting today (as he was sent home yesterday). In those circumstances it is even more surprising that there was no one who could come.

I have only been called by the school once in the whole of Primary ( which started in yr R). That was because the school closed after lunch due to flooding. As a lone parent I only have ( a long) list of other parents. No family or other next of kin. I'm not giving up work because I can't get home within an hour.

As to sending children in sick it is often a hard call. You get possibibly an hour at most in the morning to decide if they are ill enough to justify a day off, after they may not have woken up in the best mood anyway

I also object to the idea that spreading germs through children with coughs and colds makes you the worse parent. School is the place to get them. That way you get less when you're older.