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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think Myleene Klass will win no friends with this...

500 replies

CarlaVeloso · 05/02/2015 11:46

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/11391753/Myleene-Klass-Ill-be-collecting-unicorn-money-for-my-daughters-birthday.html

She has tweeted two emails from mothers at her daughter's school asking for cash donations for their children's birthday parties. She's changed their names but clearly they are still recognisable to anyone with children in that class and presumably the whole school will know about it nowthat it's been published in the papers and online.

I agree the emails are completely crass and I would privately think the same but they haven't committed any crime or sent her an expletive-filled rant about something. I opened it expecting to see a request for an actual kindle when they are just suggesting £10. Crass, vulgar, materialistic etc etc, yes, but I think her response (shaming them publicly) is really nasty and may not win her or her DD any friends at the school gate.

OP posts:

KissyBoo · 05/02/2015 17:32

Yea gads. The point about socialising. HTH.

Chandler -exactly.

squoosh · 05/02/2015 17:35

Yea gods indeed. Hysterical parents who would stop their child from socialising with their classmates because a parent has offended them by appearing too grabby for their liking.

Good grief.

dexter73 · 05/02/2015 17:36

Kirstie would want to give some upcycled, homemade monstrosity that her kids had made as a present!

queensansastark · 05/02/2015 17:37

Thanks for the explanation chandler, but I still don't see or agree that the two approaches are mutually exclusive ....as in, giving money contribution means the recipient or giver have no manners or kindness etc..

"Some people never learn..."

And I'd hate to think that I'm being judged for lacking manners or kindness because I don't side with MK's pov on this, that would just be ironic.

ChoochiWoo · 05/02/2015 17:42

Although im a full card carrying member of get what you're given, she has abused her status of celebrity by doing this its meanspirited her reply was sufficient.

TheChandler · 05/02/2015 17:42

Its nothing to do with Mylene Klass queensansastark. She isn't the only person who finds people who talk about money annoying. I tend to avoid them like the plague. Its just not polite. Don't want to know people like that. To be honest, its not the sort of thing that should need explaining to an adult.

You might give money to someone you know well, who won't be offended if you don't spend time selecting a present from them. But a bunch of work colleagues having a whip round to buy a leaving present or a relative you know well is rather different from that all people you know will be happy to do the same. But you don't ask to be given money (unless its from a family member).

KissyBoo · 05/02/2015 17:45

No I wouldn't stop them socialising with their friends. Birthdays aren't the only opportunity to do this

I would invite their friends to a party whereby it was made clear that no gifts were to be bought (a card would suffice) and that their presence and having a party would be enough of a present for my child.

My children don't need anymore stuff and their friends parents don't need the additional pressure. It's just rude.

It just reminds me of daytrips out where for some the entire focus is on the gift shop rather than the experience of the day.

Southeastdweller · 05/02/2015 17:45

I agree with many of you that it isn't at all grabby asking for money in this context.

MK comes off much worse in this - she's been around enough to know full well the publicity this would cause and I don't think it's beyond the realms of possibility to imagine she was waiting for this thread to start and is checking in regularly...

queensansastark · 05/02/2015 17:48

That's what I mean, I KNOW people don't like talking about money here full stop ...but I think it's a very British hang up...not a global adult hang up.

squoosh · 05/02/2015 17:49

'I would invite their friends to a party whereby it was made clear that no gifts were to be bought (a card would suffice) and that their presence and having a party would be enough of a present for my child.'

Yes that would certainly be an effective way of expressing one's distaste.

squoosh · 05/02/2015 17:50

I agree queensansastark, I think Chandler is taking a very anglocentric view when she says 'its not the sort of thing that should need explaining to an adult.'

Bambambini · 05/02/2015 17:50

Chandler - I guess it's your way or your way.

KissyBoo · 05/02/2015 17:50

No just different values to yours Squoosh.

Sazzle41 · 05/02/2015 17:51

God those parents must be tight to think the whole class can stump up that much for birthday presents. Its the kids i feel sorry for. The mothers must have no idea what this looks like to other parents and the impact it will have on their children socially if they carry on like this. Sad. Grabby, grabby, grabby. But i get where Mylene was coming from even tho i would have not sent what she did.

queensansastark · 05/02/2015 17:52

Yes squoosh, thought that a little patronising...

squoosh · 05/02/2015 17:52

The only value I've expressed on this thread kissy is that I think it's unwise to not take your children into consideration when you choose to make something like this public.

That doesn't seem to be a concern of yours however and that's your choice.

TheChandler · 05/02/2015 17:53

Well, since I don't particularly want friends who ask me for money, its no loss

I mean, where would you draw the line? Is it ok for children to ask for money instead of presents? Or adults too?

What happens when these children grow up and one of them ends up as your daughter's boyfriend (or vice versa) and it comes to their birthday. And they say "Well, I don't want a present, because I don't trust you to buy me the right kind of gadget, so just gimme the money, about £100 or £50 if you're a bit short will do, and I'll get it myself".

Nice!

Bambambini · 05/02/2015 17:54

Yip, I know folk who aren't being rude when they ask how much you earn or how much your house costs - because not everyone thinks the same or has the same cultural or social norms.

Some folk are so very rigid when it comes to what they deem is the right way. It's quite arrogant .

queensansastark · 05/02/2015 17:55

As it is Chinese New Year coming up, yes! It is tradition for children to ask for red packets containing money at Chinese New Year...strange as it may seem....

morethanpotatoprints · 05/02/2015 17:56

I don't think it is particularly rude because it seems the norm for this school, but I wouldn't want this for my dc.
Its sort of taking the responsibility away from parents.

Inkanta · 05/02/2015 17:57

Yes I think it's down to different values. Views on this depend on what you value. I still think Myleene was right to challenge this culture of everyone being expected to contribute to an expensive class present.

squoosh · 05/02/2015 17:58

Challenging fine, public challenging not fine.

TheChandler · 05/02/2015 17:59

Yip, I know folk who aren't being rude when they ask how much you earn or how much your house costs - because not everyone thinks the same or has the same cultural or social norms.

I agree, but I don't include the man at work who told me "I live in X Town, in a £350,000 detached house".

I guess I don't agree with putting a monetary value on friendship. Or buying or paying for friendship. I treat everyone the same, whether they buy me a present or not, whether they can or cannot afford one. A gift is always a bonus.

I've also got an (ex) friend who was debating charging people for chatting with them on Facebook, on her self-appointed (non-professional) specialist subject...

KissyBoo · 05/02/2015 18:01

Squoosh- you are being disingenuous.

I've said my piece. I don't have to keep banging on....

MistressDeeCee · 05/02/2015 18:10

If a class size is say 25...thats £250.

I simply couldn't accept this amount for my DCs birthday gift. However I don't think character and values matter so much any more..its about what adults want in the 1st instance. Any form of greed is justified, even asking at school for money for your child's birthday. Teaching DCs to expect group ostentatious/expensive presents. Is this "whole class" present a new thing...?

£250!

No manners whatsoever

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