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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think Myleene Klass will win no friends with this...

500 replies

CarlaVeloso · 05/02/2015 11:46

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/11391753/Myleene-Klass-Ill-be-collecting-unicorn-money-for-my-daughters-birthday.html

She has tweeted two emails from mothers at her daughter's school asking for cash donations for their children's birthday parties. She's changed their names but clearly they are still recognisable to anyone with children in that class and presumably the whole school will know about it nowthat it's been published in the papers and online.

I agree the emails are completely crass and I would privately think the same but they haven't committed any crime or sent her an expletive-filled rant about something. I opened it expecting to see a request for an actual kindle when they are just suggesting £10. Crass, vulgar, materialistic etc etc, yes, but I think her response (shaming them publicly) is really nasty and may not win her or her DD any friends at the school gate.

OP posts:
forago · 05/02/2015 18:19

a private school will be 200 quid.

LePetitMarseillais · 05/02/2015 18:25

I think she's spot on and think it's good she's taken a public stance.

About time people started saying no to this kind of revolting behaviour.Too many people just turn a blind eye and so it goes on.A few years ago this type of thing would have invoked public ridicule now people just except it.

It just encourages greedy money grabbing and I think it's sad how prevalent this kind of thing has become in society.

BodminPill · 05/02/2015 18:40

Where I live there is a very strong culture of "giving back" and charitable endeavors (but also a tendency towards general conspicuous PC-ness in some cases).

For birthday parties my children have attended in the past couple of years there have been requests for:

  1. No gifts
  2. Charitable donations be made in lieu of a gift (to a health-related charity relevant to the family/child)
  3. Food bank donations in lieu of gift
  4. A small contribution (1.50 or there abouts) to the birthday child and and another 1.50 to charity to be deposited in collection boxes at the party - this one is very popular.

The expectation for 10 quid contributions does seem crazy, but I guess it's the norm for that school.

TheXxed · 05/02/2015 18:45

I guess it depends on whether or not you expect a gift. I genuinely don't expect gifts if they happens I think its nice.

Also I have attended parties/celebrations where I have any only given a card. I am still friends with these people.

Goodwordguide · 05/02/2015 18:50

Of course it's fine not to agree with requests for class presents etc, to do your own thing or nothing at all as you wish etc.

But to write a sarcastic reply and then publish it to your thousands of followers - just seems so mean-spirited, stirring and attention-seeking, I think MK is the one who comes out of this badly. Again, if I were her daughter, I would be dying of embarrassment.

Blossom8 · 05/02/2015 18:59

My daughter expects presents when people are invited to her party as it's her birthday and she loves presents but then she is 5 years old.

But I would certainly not ask parents to give her money, just whatever they want. I must admit, I would feel uncomfortable taking my daughter to her friend's birthday party without a present.

I did get the sulk last Christmas though when we were asked to contribute £10 per child for their teacher's Christmas present which I did not agree with.

SaigonSaigon · 05/02/2015 19:00

So this is a joint party for 2 girls, and the suggested donation is £10 (£5 each).

I do think that suggesting an amount is crass & grabby, as is stating what these girls want to be bought with it ie: desk and kindle. But the original email made clear that no-one was under any obligation to do this. I think this was stated several times.

If I'd received that email I would have been slightly bemused, maybe even horrified at first, but after some thought I may have done it because I usually spend over a fiver on a gift for a child's birthday party.

I think MK has come across badly in her tweets. She could have made her point in a better way without sounding so childish and incensed. Why she couldn't have dealt with this privately just reeks of a sleb wanting some column inches.

Enough27 · 05/02/2015 19:06

Name changed for obvious reasons.

DD was at this school. Parents didn't like Myleene as she alerted the paparazzi when she was doing the school run, so we had to pick our way through photographers to get to school, until the head had a word.

But I agree with her about the parents. We found them very grasping, and even the children too. I remember one mother laughing how her DD had changed from having a party with a few girls to a whole class party, just so she could get more presents. I would have been mortified had it been me. She then sent a request for a large amount of money per guest. They were millionaires but far more greedy than many.

Also, we had play dates (sorry) where my DD would listen bemused, as the girls would compare how much they had in their bank accounts/wedding funds/how many houses they had. They were only 9 years old.

The parents were very cliquey and wouldn't let you in unless you fitted their requirements re social class/profession etc. They probably thought they were lovely, but they really weren't. A real lesson on how money and an (Oxbridge) education can't buy manners and real class.

I am obviously bitter Smile but have had my fingers burned by these North London mums. My DD has moved schools and is now MUCH happier in a more mixed environment.

There were some very lovely parents, include down to earth celebs, but not very many. The vengeful part of me is quite pleased that Myleene has shone the spotlight on the less pleasant side of this school. But I didn't particularly like her either! DH did though and loved holding the door open for her. Confused

noddyholder · 05/02/2015 19:17

I am amazed that anyone in their right mind gives so much thought to childrens parties full stop.

TurquoiseDress · 05/02/2015 19:18

Myleene's reply about the unicorn did make me laugh!

Asking for cash gifts per child...is this normal behaviour for school birthday parties?!

My LO is only tiny, is this what is to come?!

The emails were totally wanky IMO.

Gah, hoping I don't have to encounter people like that once the LO is school age.

What sort of message does that send out to the kids...very entitled behaviour, where does it end...shudder to think what will be requested for birthdays once they reach double figures!

Merguez · 05/02/2015 19:22

the concept of parents giving cash which can be pooled to buy one single decent present is OK but the way it was worded was incredibly rude and patronising.

TheXxed · 05/02/2015 19:50

I am sorry but I just don't think you should expect gifts, that's grabby. You invite guest because you want their company.

sugarman · 05/02/2015 19:53

enough how do you know that MK alerted the media when she was doing the school run and how do you know "the head had a word"?

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 05/02/2015 19:55

I am amazed that anyone in their right mind gives so much thought to childrens parties full stop.

FUCK YEAH

from threads on here (and a bit of RL) I can give brief guidelines on what NOT to do-

don't ask for cash (greedy/crass)
don't ask for no presents (showy offy)
don't buy craft stuff or plastic shit to clutter up people's houses/flats (just don't)
don't leave anyone out (mean)
don't ask the whole class (greedy)
don't not have a party (mean)
don't do party bags full of crap (common)
don't not do party bags (mean)
don't spunk a load on entertainers and shit (showy offy)
don't just let em do their own thing and go mad and all have INJURIES (that was just me actually Blush)
and for littlies- don't leave your kiddies! (this ain't free babysitting. YOU MURDERER)
" " " don't stay with your kiddies (jeez, it's only two hours, you helicoptery interfering pfb obsessed fusspot)

hth

FreeWee · 05/02/2015 19:56

Surely the school run happens at the same time every day so no half decent paparazzi would need to be alerted?

Other than that an enlightening post of how schools like that work. Interesting how the richest are also the most greedy.

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 05/02/2015 19:58

oh, forgot to add-

if anyone of your friends and neighbours fails to follow The Rules, don't moan about it on social media like a twunt

They WILL find out

Susiesoop · 05/02/2015 20:13

Badly worded email by the parents but seriously vindictive by MK to publish emails. She must have known that showing to her large social media following would cause a furore of indignant outrage. I found her doing it just as awful, if not more so. Yuk. Smacks of desperate self - promotion of a public persona that is on the slide. Am not buying this Myleene 'voice of the people/tells it how it is' rebrand nonsense. Stand by for the MK day time telly interviews and articles. To put it into perspective she will earn far more than the estimated party £250 off the back of this. Who is grasping?

ShakesBootyFlabWobbles · 05/02/2015 20:23

Have not RTFT. I wouldn't have a problem donating to a large present and often ask the parent for ideas anyway. Cash is no problem, saves me a job. The emails seem to indicate it is entirely at your own discretion, they wouldn't offend me in the slightest.
IMO MK is a twunt for posting this, pure mean girl territory.

MoanCollins · 05/02/2015 20:24

It was vindictive. I had a feeling as soon as I read this that it's probably one of the less popular Mum's or someone Mylene doesn't see as worth bothering with. Somebody who's probably on the end of a lot of these kind of acts.

Sonoma · 05/02/2015 20:25

I agree with Myleene's objections but poor form to have tweeted the email I think. I received a similar email recently and was pretty pissed off. I sent a book token instead and received no acknowledgement of the gift either!

GogoGobo · 05/02/2015 20:35

Thank you Muddha
I had been considering doing an NVQ in kids party rules but you've saved me a job!!! :)

Cheekychip · 05/02/2015 20:46

Not sure about Myleenes methods here but shocked to hear that school kids are buying class mates and school friends birthday presents at £10 a pop!
Parents must feel like they are constantly forking out for presents plus kids get so much from family and close friends as it is!

My twins are only 2 so I'm yet to experience all this school stuff Hmm

MuddhaOfSuburbia · 05/02/2015 20:49

you're welcome Gogo

I think I'll call myself an Expert and write a book about it

just like Myleeeeene did with babies

EasyToEatTiger · 05/02/2015 20:56

There was me thinking that kids parties are for the birthday boy or girl and a great opportunity to be the star of the show and have their friends over. I think it is shocking to ask parents for a donation. Children rarely write thankyou letters any more; they have probably forgotten with immediate effect what you gave them. The whole thing is really stupid. A party is to see your friends and enjoy their company.

GogoGobo · 05/02/2015 21:02

Grin Muddha