to not want my friend to choose the same birthday as my DD

[handandshrimp]

My friend's due date is about 2 weeks after my DD (who will be 2 next birthday)'s birthday. She will need a planned C Section for pre-existing issues (hers, not her baby's) and was talking to me about the dates she would like this to happen?
One of the dates she would like is the same date as my DD was born, and she is well aware that this is my DD's birthday. If her baby decided to arrive spontaneously on this date then fair enough, but to choose it consciously makes me feel weird.

I want my DD to be able to celebrate her birthday in her own right and not feel like she has to share her birthday with someone else, because my friend 'liked the numbers'. This friend has much involvement in our lives on a couple of levels and we have mutual friends who will be involved in both our children's lives. Both our children have been conceived using IVF and a donor (not the same one!) and have been a long time in the making, and my friend has drawn parallels between their 'special connection' already.
AIBU and pfb for feeling annoyed by this? DH thinks she is BU also. She could pick any date really, but wants this certain date (and possibly another that the numbers 'feel right').

If she does c

Dd has 2 best friends, 1 has the same birthday as her and the other is the Day before! they think it's great.

Actually if you have mutual friends in common I think it would annoy me to because you are either always going to have to do a joint birthday or be rushing around with 2 parties on your dds birthday.

Will she get shitty if you say "no I don't want a joint party this year" or "sorry we can't make your child's party as we are taking dd out for her birthday"? I can see this happening.

FWIW, I had a planned section second time, I was in agony with SPD and using a wheelchair and I begged them to do my section at 38 weeks and they refused. They would not even consider it before 39 weeks. DS's birthday was at 39 weeks so I chose the date furthest from that that I could have as I didn't want a joint birthday. I wanted them to have their own.

Now, dd should be starting school soon and a friend has a ds (who will be in same class) with a birthday close to dds and i'm dreading the "shall we do joint parties" that I know will be coming.

Fucking phone!

Op I agree, think you should contact the daily mail

Actually if you have mutual friends in common I think it would annoy me to because you are either always going to have to do a joint birthday or be rushing around with 2 parties on your dds birthday.

When I was a kid, people rarely had birthday parties mid week. Unless that's changed. It was always at the weekend meaning that there were potential clashes with anyone born within 6 days each way of me. If we are going to use that absurd logic then we are effectively saying its unreasonable of the OP's friend to pick a date within a thirteen day time window.

Which I think we all know is absolute bollocks.

How about you don't have a party every bloody year? It's not an actual requirement. DS hasn't had one every single year - nor have any of his friends or other kids in his class come to think of it. They aren't hard done by.

A woman I work with did ask me how I could bear to have enjoyed my birthday knowing Amy Winehouse had died.

I shared my birthday with two friends and a member of my family - I loved it!

so you tell her not to chose that date- she choses the day after. Something goes wrong in those 24 hours. Could you live with that?

OP

I agree with what you say about people having different levels of interest in birthdays.

I have never made much fuss over my birthday, and am always a bit surprised when other people do -days off work, parties etc.