to not want my friend to choose the same birthday as my DD

[handandshrimp]

My friend's due date is about 2 weeks after my DD (who will be 2 next birthday)'s birthday. She will need a planned C Section for pre-existing issues (hers, not her baby's) and was talking to me about the dates she would like this to happen?
One of the dates she would like is the same date as my DD was born, and she is well aware that this is my DD's birthday. If her baby decided to arrive spontaneously on this date then fair enough, but to choose it consciously makes me feel weird.

I want my DD to be able to celebrate her birthday in her own right and not feel like she has to share her birthday with someone else, because my friend 'liked the numbers'. This friend has much involvement in our lives on a couple of levels and we have mutual friends who will be involved in both our children's lives. Both our children have been conceived using IVF and a donor (not the same one!) and have been a long time in the making, and my friend has drawn parallels between their 'special connection' already.
AIBU and pfb for feeling annoyed by this? DH thinks she is BU also. She could pick any date really, but wants this certain date (and possibly another that the numbers 'feel right').

I am another who wonders whether you actually like her? You don't sound as though you do tbh. I'm guessing perhaps she is a non-blood relation, but you seem to feel as though she is treading on your toes, whereas she may feel happy at the thought of your babies sharing a birthday, especially if she is very fond of you and/or your dd.
My cousin has just had a baby born on my birthday, and I was really delighted. I feel a strange kinship with fellow-birthdayers and I really like the idea of shared birthdays (unless it was someone I really disliked). My dd was born on a friend's birthday, and I was delighted. I was hoping she would be on my Granny's birthday, two days earlier, so I was happy that she shared it with someone I was fond of.
Your child may well love sharing a birthday with a smaller child, in the same way that my younger dd feels a bond with an older child we know who has the same first name.

FFS. dear

Just cut ties you don't sound like you're that fussed, also is it a little bit because you feel like the birth of a precious new little baby will take away from your dds birthday ? Are you perhaps planning a large celebration or something that day??

After reading this post and the one yesterday about the dd not wanting to bother getting her mother a present I feel I just live in a parallel universe.

I have never met people like this in RL. Seriously never.

Obviously op you are being massively and ridiculously unreasonable. And strange.

YABU.

Have you not thought about how it might be nice (even though you say otherwise) for your close friend's DC and your DD to share a birthday and all that that entails?

oh go on then - tell her you don't want this date and to pick another one and let WW3 begin....

ah apologies bad me - I wrote close friend and obviously she isn't close as in your OP it says friend....

The thing is though, children love to find other children who share birthdays. You may be feeling it will take away from her "specialness", but your dd will probably be very excited and pleased.

Your dd may well feel there's a special connection there. Certainly that would be my dc's reaction: it would add to the fun, not take away from them.

yes DeWee lots of other children do love to find other children to share birthdays...

obviously not in OP and her DH's world though...

Oh FFS, this is ridiculous!
Even if she goes for same date and same name, you own neither and it doesn't affect you or your dd in the slightest.

Celebrating her birthday in her own right

OP the thing is that apart from you, perhaps GP's and a few very select people nobody really cares when your/my children were born. It is just a number. There is no "specialness" in birth dates really.

Are you the type of parent who marvels and relishes attention given to your PFB? You sound like it.

Omg how sad!!!! Get over yourself !!!!

Oy, leave the OP alone! She has already been back to say that she admits to BU.

I'm delighted to report that I share my birthday with shouty man Jim Howick.

I share my birthday with my granddaughter. It's brilliant!

yes, as proven. Most of the planet could not care less, and like your friend, cannot see why this could possibly be a problem to anyone.

Oh my fucking god. I have no words.

I had a baby on the same day of the same year as my friend. Our poor babies will go through school being in the same class and having the same birthdays. Perhaps one of us should have just crossed our legs?!

IME you don't get to choose the date, the hospital find you an appointment closest to the best date to deliver the baby, given the persons individual circumstances

So your friend is being unreasonable thinking that the hospital will bow to her wants

OP you are a complete wackadoodle.

What if someone very famous died on your daughters birthday?

Imagine your birthday being the same day as the day Princess Diana died. You'd never be able to celebrate again.

No parties allowed for September 11th children.

I know three kids with their birthday on September 11th. The parents prefer to call it the 11th of September as it sounds less doom laden!

FFS.

I'm a twin.

Today on Facebook I realised 3 colleagues have birthdays the same day, same when at school.

Your dd doesn't own her birthday: there are THOUSANDS in the UK alone with the same one.

can't be arsed to read the whole thread but..precious much?! Yabtotallyridiculous.. hope that helps!

It's really not that unusual to choose the date, especially if it's private as the op says her friend is

I was able to choose a date anytime from 37 weeks onwards with the nhs because it was for medical reasons