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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go over the teachers head?

154 replies

Bananaapplegrape · 04/02/2015 20:51

Right bit of a backstory (sorry!) DD is 11, year 6 of primary school, never been in trouble, always had brilliant school report, in top sets blah blah.. She's targeted for a 5A in maths and a 5B for literacy in the sats...

Today she came out of school hysterical (to the point where she was brought out by a TA who had found her crying in the toilets), they had a 'long write' today.. It had been marked and DD got a 5c.. Her teacher ripped the work out of her book and she is to redo it tomorrow (during break!!!!)

I went to talk to the teacher, fully expecting her to explain that DD has completely misunderstood but no.. Teacher stated that DD has potential to do better, so she has too.. I asked had DD been messing around? Nope.. Chatting? Nope.. Behaviour was absolutley fine.. But she KNOWS she could have done it better.

I completely and utterly disagree with this and told teacher so DD loves school and always works hard.. She is not reacting well to the stupid amounts of pressure that these fucking sats are placing on her (despite me telling her repeatedly that it's the school being tested not her) and today has just completed fucked up her confidence...

I've tried talking to the teacher and she is Adament its a legitimate learning approach bollocks so would IBU to go to the head?

I should add - If DD was messing around them I would have absolutley no objection to the loss of break (though still wouldn't be overly impressed by the book ripping) but to do that to a child who is already achieving over average? It just feels really wrong that she's being punished for not over achieving...

OP posts:
Dawndonnaagain · 04/02/2015 20:54

It is not a legitimate learning approach. In fact to rip out a child's work is abusive and she knows full well she should not do it.
I would go to the head.

pieceofpurplesky · 04/02/2015 20:57

In 18 years I have never ripped up a child's piece of work - even in the sloppiest of pieces with no effort I find a positive.
Sorry for your DD give her a big hug and tell her she's perfect

Original poster
Bananaapplegrape · 04/02/2015 20:58

Oh good - I was worried I was being PFB but tbh I cannot see how ripping her work out and making her re-write out a TWO A4 page essay at 11 years old is helpful.. Not considering DD's reaction to it.. She's gutted, what I don't think the teacher has considered is that actually DD was trying her best.. And yes she didn't hit 'her target' but fuck me she sat for 2 hours and wrote two fecking pages (she has a blister on her finger!!!!!!!) and now she has to miss break tomorrow? Whilst the kids with lower targets that could achieve them get to go out?

OP posts:
PtolemysNeedle · 04/02/2015 20:58

I think you'd be letting your dd down if you don't go to the head tbh.

The teacher absolutely shouldn't have done this, it is not excusable no matter how much pressure she has on her to get her class to achieve well in SATs.

londonrach · 04/02/2015 20:58

Ripping a childs work out seem very harsh. Go to head teacher?

QueenofLouisiana · 04/02/2015 20:59

YANBU. I'd never do this, my Yr6 sometimes do writing that is assessed lower than they have managed earlier. Sometimes my lessons are worse than other days. That's life!

Original poster
Bananaapplegrape · 04/02/2015 20:59

In the interest of being fair although I don't feel like it she didn't rip it up - she ripped it out and said it wasn't good enough.. Apparently she can use the ripped out version as a draft to copy the 'proper' version into her book Hmm

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 04/02/2015 20:59

YANBU at all!

You need to speak to the head about this

That's an absolutely disgusting way to treat a child

tobysmum77 · 04/02/2015 21:02

I think the ripping out is on the edge abd probably out of order. But if your dd is achieving higher than average then yes the teacher should expect more from her so yabu in relation to that

WorraLiberty · 04/02/2015 21:02

Yes but even ripping it out isn't right.

Teachers are supposed to mark work and give helpful feedback

No way should she be missing break to re-do it if she wasn't fooling about at the time.

Everyone has an off day and the teacher's feedback should have queried this.

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 04/02/2015 21:03

I wouldn't let this go at all and would certainly be seeing the head about it

Original poster
Bananaapplegrape · 04/02/2015 21:05

Toby's mum.. I appreciate that (and I know I did ask if IWBU but DD is working towards the 5B which means at the moment she is a 5C which is what she got! So she got the grade she's at, at the moment.. Just not the higher predicted grade.. IF that makes any sense at all!

OP posts:
rumbleinthrjungle · 04/02/2015 21:09

Yes talk to the head and don't worry about going over heads, you've spoken to the teacher and tried to solve it at that level and still have concerns, so that's what the senior management team are for. The teacher sounds as stressed as the kids to be doing this, and that needs watching.

Tinks42 · 04/02/2015 21:09

Ripping your childs work out of her book doesnt sound like a thing a teacher would do unless she has lost the plot. Has your daughter shown you the book where the pages have been torn from?

Something here doesnt sound right.... whether the teacher has lost the plot or whether your child has maybe ripped the pages out herself.

I'd actually call and ask to speak to the teacher first to gain both sides of the story then go to the head.

IAmAllImportant · 04/02/2015 21:10

My DD is not doing great at school in year 5, is a chaotic undiagnosed ADHD sufferer but I would not allow detention for this! Not a chance"

Original poster
Bananaapplegrape · 04/02/2015 21:10

TInks.. I explained in the OP that I've spoken to the teacher and she confirmed she did it.

OP posts:
Tinks42 · 04/02/2015 21:10

Apologies.. fast thread. Did the teacher actually tell you she ripped it out?

Billabong21 · 04/02/2015 21:11

The class teacher is clearly under huge amounts of pressure to achieve certain grades in Sats. I see it EVERY day, teachers exhausted, overwhelmed and constantly being pulled over the coals by senior management, headteachers and the government. I'm not trying to make excuses for the teacher's behavior, I'm justttrying to give you an insight to it. Presure, presure, presure!!!!!!!

Tinks42 · 04/02/2015 21:11

Well then yes of course go to the head.

Original poster
Bananaapplegrape · 04/02/2015 21:12

TInks - yup, because she 'knows' it wasn't as good as DD could have made it - so she ripped it out and dd can use it as a rough draft to do the 'proper' piece of work tomorrow (during break)

OP posts:
Tinks42 · 04/02/2015 21:13

Mind you im not sure why your child would be hysterical about getting a 5c?

Original poster
Bananaapplegrape · 04/02/2015 21:13

Billa... Fully recognise that.. But my DD's mental health tops that of a adult whose able to (hopefully) manage her stress levels significantly beyter

OP posts:
TheyLearnedFromBrian · 04/02/2015 21:13

Wow. I'd be fuming.

And I think the words 'If this is the kind of pressure you think is acceptable, I'm going to be withdrawing my daughter from all SATS exams to protect her mental health' might just escape my mouth...

How DARE they.

Altinkum · 04/02/2015 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

blueberrypie0112 · 04/02/2015 21:14

ripping her homework is cruel... I would talk to someone who is the head of the school