I've had enough of her lies.

[JammyGem]

Sorry, going to be a long one.

DSis is constantly lying. If someone else in the family is getting a little bit of attention, she'll make something up so she gets some. She's my half sister (same dad) and I've always wondered why DM and DDad don't get on with her and ignore her when she has a crisis, but in the last year I've realised that they had enough of her bullshit and lies years ago, and now so have I.

She said she'd been raped by the guy she was having an affair with just after her husband found out and everyone in the family was supporting him, a week after our cousin was diagnosed with a serious mental health illness she claimed to have been diagnosed with PTSD, a few days after I graduated from my MA she claimed to have got a place on her own MA course despite not even having A levels... There are so many examples of when someone else is getting support and attention and she has to "up the ante" and announce something so all the attention is on her. And some of these things may well be true, but it's really the case of the boy who cried wolf and I just can't believe anything she says. I should say now that even the police called bullshit on the rape story, and threatened to charge her with wasting police time - this incident upset me the most as I was raped 5 years ago and had just at that time plucked up the courage to finally go to the police about it - to know that my sister lied about something that horrific and made it harder for me and other real victims to be believed made me more upset than I can ever say.

I've never called her out on any of this, always been sympathetic and gone along with it - even the rape thing, which I only found out she'd lied after her husband of all people let slip that they wanted to charge her with wasting their time.

But today takes the biscuit. Her mum has a terminal illness and has only months to live. I spoke to our dad earlier who asked if I'd heard from DSis. I said I had a few missed calls and was planning to ring her when I got off the phone with him. Apparently she rang him earlier today to say that she'd been to A&E and they'd done some tests and two hours later had got the results that it was cancer. He doesn't know any more because in his own words "I couldn't care enough to listen to her lies".

I have six missed calls. I've had enough. I realise I probably come across as very cold but I just can't deal with any more lies or attention seeking. AIBU to just ignore all calls and contact from now on? And AIBU to not believe her or should I get in contact just in case she's telling the truth this time and actually has cancer?

jammy your sister is ill. this stuff .... when people really are that way out, what she said about you actually is pretty common. It's hard. It's incredibly sad and it takes about 18 months to begin to get over because it's a kind of loss - you have to see her as an ill person, not as a normal reasonable one.

But you, your father and quite clearly several other people know what she is like. Believe me, she'll have done the same to others who called her on the crap or who cut her out silently, because enough was enough.

Yes she'll carry on hating you becuase if you're not for her, you're against her. But that is the problem. You cannot help her. She cannot be helped unless she herself realises something is deeply wrong. You could give your life and your health and it would not help til she is ready to see that she needs help.

They'll take an overdose of two and a half Lemsips

God I love that! And it's so true.

Haha, love the lemsip comment! A couple of years ago she messaged me out of the blue going on about how she wanted to kill herself and had taken an OD. She was saying goodbye and telling me not to bother to save her, it was too late etc. I immediately dropped everything, got straight on a train to her (2 hour journey), she left the back door open so managed to get in to find her asleep in bed. Stayed with her for a couple of days but eventually had to leave as it affected me too much (this was when I was on antidepressants myself) There have been several other occasions like this where I've been out of my mind worrying about her and have dropped everything, severely damaging my own mental health in the process, and even at the time I knew it was an attention seeking thing. But the way I look at it, someone has to be seriously ill to think that acting in that way and saying those things is the best way to get attention, so I stupidly always went along with it regardless. Another family member killed himself when I was very young and so I've always figured it's better to be safe than sorry, and that I'd rather be there for her even when she doesn't need me than not be there for her if she ever genuinely did.

It's all this sort of thing that makes the current situation so much harder for me. I've supported her as best as I can but it all gets thrown back in my face when she lies. And I can't help but be so upset and hurt by all the things she's saying about me now, it makes me wonder whether she thought those things about me all along. DDad says she's like a kipper - two faced and gutless - and while it feels good to have his support and to try to laugh about it, I still feel terrible and like a horrible person but also feel a sense of betrayal.

I just feel a bit all over the place at the moment. I hope it comes to pass and I can move on in time.