Good Evening all
My DH and I work for the same public sector organisation, him for 30 years, me for 27. We met at work some 15 years ago and have been married for 9 years. DH has been offered the opportunity to apply for a voluntary redundancy package. He really wants to leave, he says that he hates his job, he feels under stress (but won’t talk to his manager about it) and says that the job will kill him if he stays. I am a higher grade than him and earn significantly more. He says that I have an easier job (being a manager) and don’t understand the pressure that he’s under - the same pressure that the people that I manage are under no doubt - but what would I know about that?!
My concern is that DH is rather neurotic, he can’t cope with change, he has few transferrable skills (certainly not many that a private sector employer would value), he’s 49 and earns more as an Admin Officer than he would in a comparable job in the private sector – that’s if he could get one(!) Don’t get me started on his pension, flexi-time and 5 weeks a year annual leave(!)
He reduced his working hours 10 years ago to care for his father who died 3 months later. He says that he couldn’t possibly work full-time because of the stress of the job. He is supposed to clean the house on his non-working days, but just runs the Hoover over the carpets leaving a dusty grey edge. All the cooking, shopping & most of the cleaning is down to me or my 18 year old son (from a previous relationship and who works full-time).
I have chronic arthritis, need crutches to get around and take a cocktail of painkillers to get me through the day. Although I work full-time at the moment, I don’t know how much longer I will be able to sustain it. I don’t think that it would be fair to expect me to take the full financial burden of the household and be forced to work full-time if he takes this redundancy.
Of course DH says that he will get another job in no time. He says that he will do 'anything' as long as it doesn't involve writing, using a phone (he has a hearing problem), handling cash or doing maths. This doesn't leave many options! He seems to think that Tesco are just waiting for him to apply to be a night-time shelf filler. He should be so lucky!!
I think he’s being selfish and have told him that our marriage is over if he takes this package. AIBU?
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AIBU?
To leave if DH takes redundancy
112 replies
Voiceoffstage · 03/02/2015 17:57
OP posts:
Bakeoffcakes ·
04/02/2015 08:19
And I think you're amazing to have put up with him for so bloody long. 
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