Good Evening all
My DH and I work for the same public sector organisation, him for 30 years, me for 27. We met at work some 15 years ago and have been married for 9 years. DH has been offered the opportunity to apply for a voluntary redundancy package. He really wants to leave, he says that he hates his job, he feels under stress (but won’t talk to his manager about it) and says that the job will kill him if he stays. I am a higher grade than him and earn significantly more. He says that I have an easier job (being a manager) and don’t understand the pressure that he’s under - the same pressure that the people that I manage are under no doubt - but what would I know about that?!
My concern is that DH is rather neurotic, he can’t cope with change, he has few transferrable skills (certainly not many that a private sector employer would value), he’s 49 and earns more as an Admin Officer than he would in a comparable job in the private sector – that’s if he could get one(!) Don’t get me started on his pension, flexi-time and 5 weeks a year annual leave(!)
He reduced his working hours 10 years ago to care for his father who died 3 months later. He says that he couldn’t possibly work full-time because of the stress of the job. He is supposed to clean the house on his non-working days, but just runs the Hoover over the carpets leaving a dusty grey edge. All the cooking, shopping & most of the cleaning is down to me or my 18 year old son (from a previous relationship and who works full-time).
I have chronic arthritis, need crutches to get around and take a cocktail of painkillers to get me through the day. Although I work full-time at the moment, I don’t know how much longer I will be able to sustain it. I don’t think that it would be fair to expect me to take the full financial burden of the household and be forced to work full-time if he takes this redundancy.
Of course DH says that he will get another job in no time. He says that he will do 'anything' as long as it doesn't involve writing, using a phone (he has a hearing problem), handling cash or doing maths. This doesn't leave many options! He seems to think that Tesco are just waiting for him to apply to be a night-time shelf filler. He should be so lucky!!
I think he’s being selfish and have told him that our marriage is over if he takes this package. AIBU?
AIBU?
To leave if DH takes redundancy
Voiceoffstage · 03/02/2015 17:57
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Oh Malabrig0 I left him in Sept 2013 over the reduction in hours - oh and my cancer scare when he said that he was 'too stressed at work to be able to deal with this and everything else' and moved into his mother's house for 4 nights a week.
Told you it was a long story...
Then he left me to have the lump removed on my own. He was shocked and deeply hurt when I told him that I'd arranged for a friend to accompany me as I feared that he wouldn't be there for me. I apologised at my lack of faith in him and cancelled my friend so that he could come with me. We were waiting for me to go into surgery when he announced that he'd made an appointment to have his ears syringed (since he'd be at the hospital anyway it made sense...he said) and left me to it.
It was after this that he reduced his hours.
But we talked it through. He promised that he had learned to listen to me. That he would NEVER do that to me again. And DS & me moved back in last May.
and now... I fear 
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.