Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't want to potty train. I just don't. Completely U, I know...

107 replies

MaebyF · 03/02/2015 13:58

DD has just turned 3. We haven't tried potty training as she's not shown too many signs of being interested, and we also don't have a baby so changing 3-4 nappies a day has hardly been an issue. Even the CM hasn't thought DD is massively ready.

Now we have a long weekend ahead of us with no plans and it does seem a good opportunity to give it a go.

But... but... I just don't want to! I know she needs to learn at some point. I know that every parent goes through it at some point. I just want someone to wave a magic wand and for DD to be trained already Grin

Seriously, do I have to stay in all weekend? Or can I least sneak in a visit to soft play in the morning and then do a few hours at home? And football classes on Sunday morning? One place I read says you can build up and mix and match nappies and pants, another place says you have to do just pants for all the time they're awake...

Can someone else come and do this for me?

OP posts:
nousernamesleft · 03/02/2015 14:00

Leave her long enough and she'll do it herself, both of mine did. One at 2, the other at 4 1/2 (but he has various issues that mean he's a slow developer).
Neither had more than 2 or 3 accidents, and it was stress free.

Fairylea · 03/02/2015 14:03

I feel the same as you! And that's despite already having one older child who is now 12 that I potty trained at about 20 months. ..... I'm now looking at ds who is 2.8 and thinking I really don't want to.. he's not at all fussed about it and isn't interested and if I don't get out with him at least once a day I feel like we're both going to explode. So for now I'm just putting it off and hoping at some point he will want to do it himself and it will be a really quick thing. I'm a sahm and he's not going to nursery for ages yet so I'm just going to carry on and see how we go!

TRexingInAsda · 03/02/2015 14:05

You can go out and mix and match nappies if you want. Depends if you want to get it over and done with ASAP, or if you're happy to take a more casual 'she'll pick it up eventually' kind of approach. As she's 3, she probably won't take very long to get it, I'd throw yourself into it all long weekend tbh. It won't be as bad as you think, and you won't have to buy/change nappies any more.

gaggiagirl · 03/02/2015 14:05

Agree. DD just did it with very little encouragement when she was ready at about 2yo.
I wont hurt to take your little one with you when you go for a wee so it might pique her interest.

Slutbucket · 03/02/2015 14:06

I potty trained twins! My husband is getting a vasectomy after that!

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 14:07

I keep reading about it because I think that will help but there are so many different blogs and articles advising different things! And logistically it seems so hard - DP and I are hardly ever in together on the same day (both work f/t) so there are shops and things to do with DD whatever day we pick...

Slightly peer pressure related as I swear she's one of the last to do it. And pre-school is beckoning in April so it would probably be best to do it by then. But the CM hasn't been nagging us to start, and I suspect she would if she thought DD was ready and we were just avoiding it Blush

OP posts:
kittentwo · 03/02/2015 14:07

Best advice my health visitor gave me was spend a week close to home and if at the end of that week they are no telling you when they need to ho most times they are not ready wait a bit longer. Mine were two and a half and three but that was back in the day they had to be potty trained before they could attend playgroup so I had inventive. Its easy I never found it stressful a bit of wee an poo and plenty of pants.

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 14:08

Grin Slutbucket

So I could mix and match? Go out in the morning then put her pants when we get home and encourage it, and hope she likes it and we can gradually start building up to longer periods?

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 03/02/2015 14:08

You don't have to do it now but (worldly wise advice coming up):

-not all children show signs of readiness, even if they are in fact completely ready

  • you don't have to stay in all weekend but give soft play a miss as wee/poo in the ball pool is the pits.

Not worldly wisdom but just my experience - mixing and matching nappies and pants is confusing for the child and just makes the whole thing drag on forever.

HoneyIsBeePoo · 03/02/2015 14:08

Urgh, I really need to do this with DS at some point before he goes to playgroup in August, but I bloody hated it first time round with DD. I was just shit at it, had no patience for the constant cleaning, the shitty pants, the bribing, the sticker charts.

If I just leave it until he's about...8, he'll get it then, right?

DisappointedOne · 03/02/2015 14:09

Wait for warmer weather and clear signals from your child. We did, had 3 days of no bottoms (housebound but could go out in garden) then straight into pants. No pull ups, no nappies. Easy.

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 14:11

I don't mind cleaning up the mess in the house. And I definitely wouldn't take her to soft play on the first day in pants!

Just I can't ever quite see a weekend we'll have nothing to do at all and I can just throw myself into it...

OP posts:
DisappointedOne · 03/02/2015 14:11

I find the thought of bribes and sticker charts far less appealing than cleaning up the odd accident!

DisappointedOne · 03/02/2015 14:11

Must it be a weekend?

waterrat · 03/02/2015 14:12

Well I think yabu it's honestly not as stressful as you are imagining!

I didn't stay in and I took the mix and match approach - naked / in pants at home and pull ups while out - then once they are going reasonably regularly to the potty or toilet at home and they can obviously control it take them out of pull ups - However I also think pull ups do confuse it a bit so you could just try sticking close to home and accepting accidents

She isn't going to suddenly go unless you show her how it works ! Just give it a go - make a game of it I'm sure she will get it quickly

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 14:12

Well, what counts as a 'weekend' for either me or DP as we both work f/t. Generally we're not both in at the same time.

OP posts:
waterrat · 03/02/2015 14:13

I personally would not bother staying in that would drive me mad but you could do a lot of pottering at home with a pull up on for soft play

kittentwo · 03/02/2015 14:14

For Boys always take a jam jar in your bag for wee.

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 14:14

I'm sure it won't be as stressful - looking back, I bloody hated weaning but really, it went fine!

I do get that she won't magically get it without us encouraging her. Sadly Grin I can stay at home a lot one weekend, just not all the time. Plus she is definitely not ready to be nappy free at naptime and bedtime!

OP posts:
UsuallyLurking1 · 03/02/2015 14:15

Bribes worked for us. Tried at 2.5, didn't work, tried again at 3 and have got her just about there.

Still the odd accident when she's distracted.

Try princess pollys potty book (or male equivalent) seemed to help us

SummerHouse · 03/02/2015 14:17

I would give it the weekend. She might get it straight away. If its lots of accidents just wait till its warmer. My DS 2 was never v keen to actually use the potty so a reward chart worked a treat. As a friend once put it "he would sell his granny for a sticker on his chart". Also we try to not make a big deal if he wets himself. Just say oh let's get you some new pants etc. Agree the only thing I might avoid is a ball pool.

SummerHouse · 03/02/2015 14:19

Oh and good luck. Its a fun and exciting stage. GrinWine

Hakluyt · 03/02/2015 14:20

Use the Hakluyt method. Leave in nappies til child says "mummy, I don't want to wear nappies any more". Say "OK darling- here are some pants and there is the loo." Sorted. You don't actually have to potty train- you just have to wait til they do it for themselves. For this to work you do have to let them come to the loo with you every time, though, so they know what's expected of them. To quote my mother "Children grow up automatically. You just have to hold your nerve and let them"

SummerHouse · 03/02/2015 14:21

Oh and I kept nappies for bed time and naps. Don't feel any pressure. DS1 aged 5 is still in nappies at bedtime. Until it bothers him it won't bother me.

martymcfry · 03/02/2015 14:22

I was dreading it too, but so much easier than I imagined. Just go for it, stripped bottom half, heating up high, potty near :) good luck!

Swipe left for the next trending thread