Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't want to potty train. I just don't. Completely U, I know...

107 replies

MaebyF · 03/02/2015 13:58

DD has just turned 3. We haven't tried potty training as she's not shown too many signs of being interested, and we also don't have a baby so changing 3-4 nappies a day has hardly been an issue. Even the CM hasn't thought DD is massively ready.

Now we have a long weekend ahead of us with no plans and it does seem a good opportunity to give it a go.

But... but... I just don't want to! I know she needs to learn at some point. I know that every parent goes through it at some point. I just want someone to wave a magic wand and for DD to be trained already Grin

Seriously, do I have to stay in all weekend? Or can I least sneak in a visit to soft play in the morning and then do a few hours at home? And football classes on Sunday morning? One place I read says you can build up and mix and match nappies and pants, another place says you have to do just pants for all the time they're awake...

Can someone else come and do this for me?

OP posts:
Tisiphone · 03/02/2015 14:24

You might be pleasantly surprised, OP. I was incredibly lazy about starting it, just because I couldn't face the fuss, but after much horrified anticipation of mess and shrieking resistance and shite everywhere, in fact DS 'got it' virtually immediately, including night dryness. It was a complete non-event in terms of my negative expectations, but I can claim no credit, other than leaving it late.

SummerHouse · 03/02/2015 14:26

Hakluyt - I like the sound of the hakluyt style of parenting and especially the hakluyt's mum's philosophy. This is going to be my new mantra! Flowers thank you.

BlackeyedSusan · 03/02/2015 14:26

pull ups are your friend. they learn when they are ready. ds was weeing in a potty for ages before he got control of the toddler diarrhoea. he manged to train himself in one day when he felt like it.

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 14:28

That's what I want - her to magically get it!

She knows exactly what it is. We talk about using the toilet or the potty, we talk about how her friends do it, and she knows what it is. I asked her the other day (non-pressured) when she was going to start using it and she said, "I'll do it later!"

I have no idea where she gets that from...

OP posts:
cavkc · 03/02/2015 14:33

My ds was 3 and showed absolutely no interest in trying to use the toilet. I tried, he literally refused point blank, so I left it.

A month or so later, he came into the room with a pair of pants from his drawer, said "no more nappies now mummy" and he never had a single accident!

RhubarbAndMustard · 03/02/2015 14:36

I potty trained DS over the Xmas period as I had 2 weeks off, but he had lots of parties to go to and I wanted him to just enjoy his Xmas. So we did no pants/loose clothing only at home and pull ups if we went out anywhere for the first week. Went on to pants in week 2.

He had a few accidents on days 1 and 2 at home, but after that no problems at all. We found that he just treated the pull ups like pants and still asked for the toilet. So then moved onto pants and just pull ups at night.
You'll probably know quite soon if they are ready.

Hakluyt · 03/02/2015 14:37

Summerhouse- the really hard bit is the holding your nerve.......

bigbluestars · 03/02/2015 14:39

Hakluyt- exactly.

I didn't potty train my kids- they did it themselves.
Happened literally overnight- with a 24 hour period they were totally dry and clean day and night and using the big toilet.

Easy peasy.

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 14:42

I suspect, knowing DD, that we could be waiting a VERY long time if I leave her to make the decisions on her own this is a child who refuses to give up her bedtime bottle and sulked when we finally took the side off her cotbed...

Right. I like these stories. We've got 4 days this long weekend of mainly being in the house. Will put nappies on when we go out, and keep her in pants when we're in the house with yoghurt raisin bribes for each time she goes. I'm guessing 4 days will be enough to give us an idea whether it's going to work or not? In the daytime, at least. Couldn't care less about naptime and nighttime.

OP posts:
Hamiltoes · 03/02/2015 14:46

Let her do it herself. This is the best advice!

I remember pushing DD before she was ready, it was over christmas and I was off work so thought it would be the ideal time. She did a huge poo under the christmas tree Grin. I put her back in nappys and one day in the spring she just announced that nappies were for babies, we went shopping for princess pants and I think she only ever had one accident (in my aunties, she had just been to the toilet, but 5 mins later said she needed again. Gran thought she just wanted to go see the sparkly tiles and was pretending so said "fill your boots!" And well, she did quite literally!).

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 03/02/2015 14:51

It'll be fine. Everyone dreads it but I didn't actually find the reality that hard. We went for the all or nothing approach, so out with the nappies and in with the pants. A couple of days and jobs done apart from ds1 and his refusal to poo in the loo for a year

I would love to have had the nerve for Hakuyt's approach but I fear ds1 would have been the one child that went to school still in Nappies!

funkyfoam · 03/02/2015 15:16

I too did it in 24 hours with all three of mine- because they were ready. If you are still having endless accidents after 48 hours leave it a while and try again. They were between two and a half and just over three. I just don't get people who spend weeks training. If they are not ready just wait and ignore the comments of others.

hellsbellsmelons · 03/02/2015 15:16

Bribes worked for me too.
It was a good few years ago now and she chose the sweets (yes I know)
She got to put them in a special bowl of her choosing.
Then got choose 1 for a wee and 2 for a poo in the potty.
It was pretty much over in a weekend!

funkyfoam · 03/02/2015 15:19

Plus we never bothered with potties, they used a toilet seat. I can't stand people wandering round with a potty in a plastic bag!

Whatisaweekend · 03/02/2015 15:21

Oh goodness if you don't want to then dont do it. For both of mine, I found that the most important thing was that I was in the right frame of mind to give it a whirl, nevermind other people saying what you/she ought to be doing or not doing!

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 15:25

I do like that attitude, Whatis!

I shall attempt positivity and much bribery this weekend to form an impression of whether she's ready or not. And if not I'll leave it till she's 7

OP posts:
SuedeEffectPochette · 03/02/2015 15:46

Bright Bots training pants took all the stress out of it for me with DTs - just buy the biggest size. Keeps poo in. Feels like pants. Keeps wee in long enough for it not to leak on the sofa!

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 16:18

Are they easily available? I haven't heard of those before

OP posts:
BaronessBomburst · 03/02/2015 16:28

I'm another one who skipped the potty training. I put DS in pull ups and offered him a jelly baby for every wee he did in the toilet. Once he cracked it I put him in pants, and then I ran out of jelly babies.
Easy peasy.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 03/02/2015 16:40

I actually quite enjoy potty training. I did it for DD at just 2 and DS at almost 3. With DS it was almost stress free because he was well ready to do it :)

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 16:48

Ghoul, I will pay you Grin

OP posts:
DamselNotInHerDress · 03/02/2015 16:50

Ds is 3.3 and still not toilet trained. Both dds were dry (including night time) by 2 and 2.4 but ds just isn't getting there. He wears pull-ups and I encourage him to use the potty and he does if I insist on him sitting on it every 10 minutes, but he has no awareness himself, and the minute I don't ask him, he wets his pull up (or pants, that was even more of a disaster) and has no idea.
He goes to preschool in a pull up, they get him to use the potty once and hour and in the meantime we just plod on at home.
It's a fucking nightmare and I hate every part of it at the moment. He will absolutely not be naked ever, won't even just wear a nappy or pants, insists on trousers and socks.
Total PITA.
Sigh.

Original poster
MaebyF · 03/02/2015 16:52

Ok damsel, you win! That does sound rubbish. I suppose at least with girls they have leggings or something they can pull down easily.

OP posts:
Mrsfrumble · 03/02/2015 17:09

I feel like this about DS and his nighttime nappy. He's 4 (was dry during the day at 2.10) and has never woken up with a dry pull up. Every now and then I wonder whether I should be "lifting" him for a nighttime wee to try and speed things up but it just seems like too much hassle. He's a light sleeper and hates being woken, so I can envisage many midnight tantrums.

He's a skinny minnie so fits easily in to size 5 pull ups, is not a heavy wetter so they don't leak, and at the rate of one pack every 3 weeks it's not exactly breaking the bank for us. So I'm leaving be for now. Am I lazy?

hels71 · 03/02/2015 17:20

DD just decided one day.....two accidents day one...none after that (if I recall rightly, it certainly was no more than three accidents in total)' we went on holiday the following week.I got pull ups. I rd her they were big girl going out pants. She still had to say if she needed the loo but if we couldn't get there quick enough they would stop her feeding on the floor. Never had a wet one....wait till they are ready. Less stress!!!