To think that at 32 I'm not an "older mum"

[elliejjtiny]

I've got 5 dc, oldest 8, youngest 7 months. I was 22 when I started ttc my eldest, 24 when I had him, still just about young enough to go to the "young parents" group at the children's centre .

But now having had my 5th DC I get the impression that I'm now an "older mum". Out of all my DC2's friends mums there is only one older than me and she's a grandmother (aged 40). Most of the others seem to have started having children at 18/19 and finish by 25. I was the oldest mum on the antenatal ward when I had DC5 and today I saw a toddler group advertised aimed at "older mothers" saying it was for mums aged 30+.

Are most of the mums in my area really young or am I (gulp) an older mum now? There's no point asking my mum, as long as I'm still a young mum, she can still call herself a young granny!

It's the area you live in.

I'm in my mid 20s and most mums I meet at baby groups are late 30s-early 40s. There are a few early 30s and the occasional late 20s but I've yet to meet anyone younger than that. I'm considered to be a very young mum.

Maybe we should house swap .

First at 35, second at 36. There will be no more.

You are not an older mum

As pp have said it's the area. I had my first at 19 and my fourth at 24, most mums at school pick up are late 20s early 30s. When I finished high school there were quite a few girls with babies or pregnant.

A friend was called an 'older mum' when she had her third baby at 27!

I am 30, currently having my fifth baby. I had my first at eighteen. I felt looked down upon with my first because of my age, but I was by no means the youngest mum in our area.

technically you are a mature mum over 25 yes ladies 25 .most people nowadays are still partying at 25 not having babies but thats how we are classed .who cares anyway .my friend had her first baby at 19 her 5th at 41 and she looks better than ever .

First at 38, 2nd at 41. Nowhere was i referred to as geriatric (thank goodness!)

The nice man taking photos for the local rag was VERY surprised when I told him my husband's name then my own - 'Married?!!' he said. 'First one today'

In my area I am ANCIENT. Had DS1 at 27, now pregnant with DS2 at 40 and will be 41 when I give birth.

At baby groups everyone is half my age or younger. I have ONE mummy friend who is in her mid 30s.

I just know when DS1 goes to school I am going to be mistaken for his nan.

37 not 27!

I'm prehistoric by these standards. I have at two year old at 45 !

It must be down to the area.
I'm 23 and I'm the youngest at all my baby groups by 10 years! They're all in their 30's & 40's

God not in our school. I'm 29 and get spoken to by some of the others like I'm a toddler.

Old hags

DSIS and I had babies last year. In her rural hospital she just about qualified as an older mum at 35, in North London I was only just classed as one at 40. Definitely the area.

Yeah - it is the area. I am 40 to a 5 year-old. I am at least 15 years older than most. That makes DP 30 years older than most. He has a complete nightmare at dropping-off and parties bless him.

I know quite a few grandmothers who are in their mid 30's to 40.

You would be considered old in some places.

I had my first child at 25 and my fourth at 46 so I'm definitely an older mum! I was under consultant led care during my last pregnancy due to "advanced maternal age" .
There are a range of mums from their 20s to their 40s at the playgroups I go to (rural area) and some grandmas and child minders who are older, everyone gets on well and chats together!
I feel relatively young compared to other parents when we go to DS's university things, fairly average age going to DD1's highschool or DD2's primary school. I may be mistaken for DD3's grandmother when she gets older but no one has made that mistake so far !

I had my first at age 28, second at 32 and third at just short of my 36th birthday. I am now 48.

I was never, to my knowledge, considered an older mum. By my reckoning 32 must surely be a pretty normal age to give birth.

Years ago it was different though. My mum was 32 when she had me, and I am the eldest. She had my sister when she was 35. She was considered ancient for a first time mum back then.

How depressing!

Definitely made to feel like a very old lady as a first time mum (33) in my area! But I was the youngest in my NCT group by at least a couple of years. Interesting disparity in ages! Finally found my level with a group of older first time mums who shared my sense of humour (and shared stories about how wrong they were getting everything!)

In my area 36 plus is average for first baby !!!

Round here 32 is positively youthful for a first baby

depends who you talk to I think and the area you are in.

I am quite used to being the youngest mum at the school gates (had my first at 15 and second at 19) but wouldn't class you as one of the older mums, especially as they're your 5th child, the majority of mums at my DC's schools would have been in their early 30s when they had their 1st child, chatting to a few of them the other day I realised they went to university the same year I was born (I of course wasted no time in pointing this out )

Am I having a sense of humour fail or was that kind of... offensive, bubalou?

If you live in parts of Newcastle there are a high number of teenage pregnancies. So, if you're 32 you would be seen as an older mum. BUT if you live in Kensington and Chelsea where the average first time mum is 37 - you would be seen as a young mum.

six of one, half a dozen of the other.

who cares so long as you're healthy and your kids are happy.

There's a very strong correlation between socioeconomic group and maternal age. So I would hazard a guess that you live in a less wealthy neighborhood if your peers are grandmothers at 40. My mother and her peers were similar - all had finished their families by 22 or 23. At that age I was still writing undergrad essays and marveling at "pound a pint" nights in the union. I had my last child at 38 - positively geriatric!!

That wasn't supposed to sound snotty, by the way, in case it reads that way.