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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that at 32 I'm not an "older mum"

117 replies

elliejjtiny · 02/02/2015 15:24

I've got 5 dc, oldest 8, youngest 7 months. I was 22 when I started ttc my eldest, 24 when I had him, still just about young enough to go to the "young parents" group at the children's centre Smile.

But now having had my 5th DC I get the impression that I'm now an "older mum". Out of all my DC2's friends mums there is only one older than me and she's a grandmother (aged 40). Most of the others seem to have started having children at 18/19 and finish by 25. I was the oldest mum on the antenatal ward when I had DC5 and today I saw a toddler group advertised aimed at "older mothers" saying it was for mums aged 30+.

Are most of the mums in my area really young or am I (gulp) an older mum now? There's no point asking my mum, as long as I'm still a young mum, she can still call herself a young granny!

OP posts:
ithoughtofitfirst · 02/02/2015 16:19

Oh no!! That's ridiculous. 32 is so young though. genuinely a bit confused at this. Confused

afreshstartplease · 02/02/2015 16:22

I am 27 my eldest is 7

Some of the parents in his class are as old as my own parents Shock

calmexterior · 02/02/2015 16:27

You're more or less average age for motherhood, I'm a bit Hmm why you're bothered though?

Original poster
elliejjtiny · 02/02/2015 16:49

Thankyou, you've all made me feel so much younger Smile

OP posts:
OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 02/02/2015 16:55

Definitely not - the average age of first time mother is 29.8 according to the ONS here

So the fact you're 32 with 5 children means you're definitely younger than the norm!

PixieofCatan · 02/02/2015 17:09

Depends totally on the area IMO! I'm from an area where at last half of my female peers at school had children by the time we were 20. At 25 I'm one of two or three out of about 100 of us left without a child! Yet where I live/work now, there are areas where most Mums are 28+

CloudDriver · 02/02/2015 17:10

In the country I live in (Europe) you would be thought of as a young mum. DH and I were in our early 30's when we had the DC and it gets commented on a lot. People here tend to wait until they can afford DC so usually late 30's/early 40's is normal. I can think of only one mum I know here who had DC in her late 20's.

LL12 · 02/02/2015 17:10

I was the 'old married mother' at 24 years old when I attended antenatal classes.

ahbollocks · 02/02/2015 17:15

I was youngest in neo natal and oldest in prenatal! Am 27.

Echocave · 02/02/2015 17:30

It does depend on where you live. I had dc1 at 38 and dc2 at 40. I'm chiffon exhausted most of the time (42 now) and wish I was as young as you OP!

Echocave · 02/02/2015 17:30

Meant to say *chuffing. Not chiffon!

Theoretician · 02/02/2015 17:34

DW had only at 43. Friend had first of 2 at 41.

adsy · 02/02/2015 17:39

First at 36 and last at 42, so you're still young

Idontseeanysontarans · 02/02/2015 17:40

I know a woman with children in their 40's now who was described as an Elderly Primagravida at the the age of 24. It still annoys her now!
I was considered young 14 years ago at the same age as she was and older (read: 'experienced) 3 years ago when I had my last child at the age of 36.

Andrewofgg · 02/02/2015 17:41

When we learned that my DS was oin the way DW was 31 and not pleased when I told her what elderly primagravida meant!

Lunastarfish · 02/02/2015 17:41

I think it does depend where you live. Where I was bought up, most school friends had those firsts in late teens/early 20s. I'm expecting my first now at 32 so school friends consider me 'old'. However, where I now live, I'm the 'young' one as must mums to be are 35+

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 02/02/2015 17:47

Agree it depends were you live i am 32 and about 10 years younger than all the other mums in dds nursery class.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 02/02/2015 17:51

I'm 30 and was the youngest mum at our NCT class. Also the youngest at swimming!

RevoltingPeasant · 02/02/2015 17:53

I have just had DD at 35 and wasn't treated as older except by my GP who said that my "aged womb" might be "lazier" than that of a woman in her 30s so I could expect a longer labour actually it was 90min long so there Grin

But generally I am pretty average at antenatal classes, baby groups etc.

kingdede · 02/02/2015 17:55

I thought 35+ is old mother, so I would say you class as older at 32.

Aherdofmims · 02/02/2015 17:56

Had dc2 at 35 and was sort of looking forward to being called an "older mum" as 35 used to be the cut off. Only to discover you are now not considered "older" until 40!

kingdede · 02/02/2015 17:57

I was told I was an old mum aged 30 a few months ago by the midwife.

Twiggy71 · 02/02/2015 18:00

I'd of thought 32 was about an average age not young or old but in between. I had my first at dc at 23 and the second at 26. I'm 43 now and have a 20 year old ds..eeekkk...

missymayhemsmum · 02/02/2015 18:03

surprised anyone regards you as an older mum, I would have thought that any raised eyebrows/ helpful remarks would be at having no5!?

Stealthpolarbear · 02/02/2015 18:03

Nice toddler group, excluding the under 30s!