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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask how to dodge this babyshower I've been conned into attending?

27 replies

duckduckmoose · 02/02/2015 12:58

So, I got a text message asking if I'm free on a Saturday night next month. Sadly I am, and replied saying so.

This was my mistake, I should have fished for information as to why they were asking.

Now I've had the response "oh good, bonkers aunt is arranging a baby shower from hell for me and bubs vomit, it's from xxx at xxxx".

I've been suckered in to attending this godawful event by stealth and I'll have to suck it up and go, since I can't actually reply "Oh dear God, no. Why would I want to go to that?!"

Unless anyone can think of a polite way I can dodge it? Rude would be briefly satisfying but I like a quiet life and the fallout wouldn't be worth it.

OP posts:

Monocerus · 02/02/2015 13:02

I would get a cold that you wouldn't want to pass on.

magpieginglebells · 02/02/2015 13:02

I foresee a stomach bug....l

Heels99 · 02/02/2015 13:02

What don't you want to go?

SisterMerror · 02/02/2015 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buddy80 · 02/02/2015 13:03

You could take a half-way approach and say "That is great, but I can only stay for XYZ time as I have to be back for xyz"

MimiSunshine · 02/02/2015 13:03

Can you treat it like any other invite. You were asked if you were free but that doesn't mean you have to go. If it was an invite to take part in a cage fight you wouldn't feel obligated to go just because you were free.

Be brave and reply, sorry that's not really my thing but i'd love to meet up with you on x date for a tea and cake if you're free?

Baby showers aren't mandatory so just say no thank you. If they protest that it will just be tea and cake somewhere, just keep repeating that its not your thing but you like T&C so are they free on x date.

Thumbwitch · 02/02/2015 13:05

Stomach bug on the day. No pregnant person wants to risk one of those, so that's your best option.

I've been to one (they're far more common here than in the UK) and it was "ok" but really not my thing. Luckily I knew everyone else there bar a couple, so it was a nice social thing as well - we just "got through" the silly games.

SweetsForMySweet · 02/02/2015 13:10

Depends on who the m2b is. If it is a close relative or good friend, yabu. If it's a friend of a friend that you don't know very well then YANBU. Why not send a card with a small voucher inside and make your apologies closer to the time?

Buddy80 · 02/02/2015 13:11

Or you could say "Thanks, I will wait to get the details from your aunt nearer the time. I don't normally book things this far in advance"

GlitzAndGigglesx · 02/02/2015 13:11

You have norovirus and wouldn't want to pass it to expectant mum and her future bubs criiiiiiiiiiiinge

Original poster

duckduckmoose · 02/02/2015 13:13

These responses makes sense, thank you. I'm used to treading on eggshells around the mum to be and I can't actually think rationally about heranymore. A cold or stomach bug could work, she is paranoid about colds, though I deeply suspect the prospect of gifts would overcome that.

Mimi, that made me laugh. I think it's something about her being pregnant. It's been the longest pregnancy known to man so far as we've known about it from practically the moment of conception and I swear, had at least one conversation about it daily. I'm just getting tired of it all.

Mum to be would take deep offence about me not attending. It wouldn't be an immediate row but it will be thrown in my face for years to come so I don't feel especially brave, which is ridiculous. I know it's ridiculous.

OP posts:

NotActuallyAMum · 02/02/2015 13:14

"This really isn't my kind of thing so I'll give it a miss but thanks for asking"

Thumbwitch · 02/02/2015 13:16

Meh, if it's all about the gifts then just send her one; have the stomach bug for a couple of days prior to the event and get an online gift thing sent to her (Amazon do some nice baby things) since obviously you'd need to be 48h clear before you inflict yourself on someone so vulnerable...

Thumbwitch · 02/02/2015 13:17

And get this thread delete if you can...

Original poster

duckduckmoose · 02/02/2015 13:17

I think I'll take the cowards way out and have a stomach bug. I'll send a gift anyway then I won't feel so guilty!

Thanks!

OP posts:

Horseradishes · 02/02/2015 13:21

I hate baby showers too. You could reply 'oops I forgot I have a wedding that weekend, really sorry, have fun'

Original poster

duckduckmoose · 02/02/2015 13:21

Ah, thanks thumb but I name changed and fuzzed the details enough to make it less obvious it's her. She's a nethun, I'm pretty certain she's not on here.

OP posts:

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 02/02/2015 13:23

Id just say "sorry, just realised I wont actually be able to attend, hope you have a brilliant day though hun"

Thumbwitch · 02/02/2015 13:24

Oh that's ok then

Davsmum · 02/02/2015 13:26

Can't you just be straight with her and say you don't want to go? I would hate someone to come to something I had invited them to if they didn't want to and if this woman would want you to go despite you not wanting to then frankly, she is not worth bothering with.
If there is going to be a row or it will be thrown in your face for years to come then seriously, why are you even involved with someone like that?
Going and moaning about it is two faced.

Original poster

duckduckmoose · 02/02/2015 13:41

It probably is two faced davsmum, but she wouldn't understand why I wouldn't want to go as it's her idea of heaven. I'm polite to her face and don't complain about her in rl.

If we weren't related, we wouldn't be friends, as it is, we're stuck with each other. She annoys me a lot every so often and the rest of the time we rub along ok.

OP posts:

OddFodd · 02/02/2015 14:19

Davsmum - the babyshowerer knew damn well that the OP wouldn't want to go otherwise she would have asked her outright in the first place! I'd hazard a guess that having a present is much more important to her than the OP actually actively wanting to be there

Send a gift and have lurgy OP

maninawomansworld · 02/02/2015 14:29

I would come down with something on the Friday. Obviously going to a babyshower would be out of the question lest you pass something on.!

Job done.

drbonnieblossman · 02/02/2015 14:33

Have a stomach upset.

Baby showers are a load of rubbish. I went to one recently. 3 hours of my life wasted. I was the only one without a gift since I buy for babies once born and im not buying twice.

Truly awful experience. Save yourself.

MrsTawdry · 02/02/2015 14:34

D&V attack. Can't be near a pregnant woman with the squits can you?

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