... to try for a low key response to this ( inappropriate song lyrics accessed when Dc under MIL Supervision)

[sparkysparkysparky]

DH and I had a night off from duty at wknd and DC (7) stayed with in laws. They watched The Voice during which time apparently contestants covered the Pitbull/Kesha (no idea what proper letter configuration of her name is) charmfest that includes the phrase "head down/booty up". Donâ??t know if a sanitised version used on The Voice but DC duly downloaded lyric sheet - it got past various blockers I have on DC's tablet which are, as we know, no substitute for supervision. Dc also downloaded lyrics to Uptown Funk which includes "Bitch". DH went ballistic and was criticising his mum in a panic. DC in tears worried that Granny is in trouble.
Trying to defuse things, I said Granny not in trouble but we all trying to keep grown up stuff at bay and it didn't work this time. I have also said that dc must ask me or DH first before downloading lyrics because Granny doesn't always read them well enough.
Dc has told me that will just download again. I said need to check with us first.
I don't think it fair to block even listening to Uptown Funk but even an old duffer like me knows that Kesha is a no no. I explained to Dc that sometimes you can't always hear the grown up stuff in songs but sometimes you can. Er...

1. Suggest alternative way to handle dc?
2. How do I tell MIL who will be mortified?

[DropYourSword]

Genuine kudos to you sparky for coming on here and actually taking on board the general opinion.

[sparkysparkysparky]

Thanks Drop your sword. Am keeping my unreasonable effing and Jeffing (who is Jeff?) to myself because it kind of defeats the object. My original post asked if I was unreasonable to play it down. The consensus seems to be I have even more playing it down to do - let it lie ffs; that DH needs to calm tf down and that Mil not in anyway at fault. Sound and helpful advice.

[Wigglebummunch]

Sadly he will hear much worse at school. My DD's (age 9) school reading book had swear words in and I was shocked but she knew not to ready them out loud. We can't hide them from these things forever.

[HarryConnickSenior]

Do you have one child or twins? Your use of "DC" is odd.

[sparkysparkysparky]

Just the one. Others have chosen to interpret it as more than one.

[notquiteruralbliss]

As everyone else said - massive overreaction. We don't censor (our older DCs grew up listening to M&M). Some of the current chart stuff makes me wince - I wouldn't dream of stopping DCs listening to it but we do talk about some song lyrics being homophobic, disrespectful to women etc.

[MayLuke83]

Watched the show on Saturday, song you referred to wasn't explicit probably as it was pre water shed. I don't think your DH should worry too much.

[SunnyBaudelaire]

I think you are off on one unnecessarily tbh, they will hear much worse than that in the school playground.

[YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually]

I don't think you should ask your in laws for any more baby sitting. Although if you "tell MIL who will be mortified", they may well not be offering any more.

If this incident gets a reaction from you and DH like this, God alone knows what other minefields there are. I anticipate many more AIBU threads to come!

[YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually]

Seriously and a bit more supportively though, if you have to send your DH out of the room to calm down over something like this, I really would be worried about how he will cope in years to come.

I have teenagers. It's an education for sure, and DH and I are fairly liberal. My DD was talking about her friends watching The InBetweeners, I can only imagine your DHs blood pressure!

Maybe this is a good opportunity to discuss future boundaries to make sure you are both happy and strategies for when situations like this arise.

[sparkysparkysparky]

It'd be nice if everyone could separate DH 's and my reaction to it -as explained in op - but that's AIBU for you: thread takes on a life of its own.

[SaucyMare]

i remember a song i was singing at that age, it included the words "alley" and then later on "the baby's just been born", can't remember the exact lyrics

[sparkysparkysparky]

Up the Junction, maybe, by Squeeze. Fab song.

[OohLaLaa]

Going ballistic and criticising his mother in a panic because your 7 year old READ the word bitch?


Your DH sounds like a lunatic.

[itsnotmeitsyou1]

Don't think my age was in double figures when the song 'I'm horny, horny horny horny' came out. I bloody loved that tune, ah the days of naivety . Had a huge telling off by a friend's parent for singing it around their child, I had no idea what the lyrics meant ffs, kids hear things! If any inappropriate language is repeated obviously a calm explanation is needed, losing the plot just leaves a poor kid confused .

[PeruvianFoodLover]

OP your poor DH is in for a shock - my illusions were shattered when my DD was 9 years old, and I found the letters WTF? written in her handwriting alongside one if her homework questions.

I didn't know whether to sob, or commend her on her correct punctuation!

Now she's older, some of the language/material her friends share on social media makes me cringe.

Like it or not, kids are exposed to crude/vulgar language at a very young age - and it's one if the few things they can make a choice for themselves about. It's up to you if it becomes a battle worth fighting or not.

[sparkysparkysparky]

Thanks heart. FYI DH takes burden of all domestic stuff due to my poor health. He works his wotsits off. He was exhausted at end of another tough day and overreacted. You are right, though - a rethink of all our approaches is in order.

[Greencurtain]

Your dh's reaction was utterly idiotic and it is by far the most damaging thing to emerge from this incident in more ways than one.

A) the main defence you have re Internet nasties is communication with your child. Not blockers or anything like that. Dh just signified to the child that communication resulted in him going ballistic and the child can only conclude in the event of uncertainty re content, it's a bad idea to approach dh.

B) that granny has done a nice thing, looked after the child well, let them download lyrics for fun and then DH has bollocked granny. Poor granny and poor child for seeing that and thinking it's how people behave.

Quite honestly (I have 2 very similarly aged dc) I would prefer my dc to see lyrics containing, bitch, fuck, shit and cunt than to have behaviour like dh's modelled for them.

Offensive words are not difficult to explain to 7yo.

[YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually]

OP, we all have those "PFB" moments, the trick is realising (and then you can share in years to come on PFB moment threads!). I still hang my head in shame at a scene I caused with my parents about a lack of sufficiently cooled and boiled water for a toddler they still happily baby sat for me

It does sound worth a rethink and discussion of things that aren't ideal but acceptable, and how you approach this in future. A good opportunity has arisen from this! Please don't raise it with MIL though, let it lie.

[UsedtobeFeckless]

Pffft ... Don't worry - at the same age DS1 and 2 were plonked in front of Brassed Off ( Complete with huge amounts of swearing and suicidal clowns ) when my Mum and Dad babysat them! It doesn't seem to have done them any harm ...

[YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually]

Green curtain, have you read the whole thread FFS?

[sparkysparkysparky]

Thanks, YesIdidmean. I'll chalk this one up as suggested.

[Alibabsandthe40Musketeers]

Our DSs, aged 6 and 3 love Panic Station by Muse. It has the F-word in it.

We all like the song, they know they mustn't say it until they are older, we don't make an issue out of it.