... to try for a low key response to this ( inappropriate song lyrics accessed when Dc under MIL Supervision)

[sparkysparkysparky]

DH and I had a night off from duty at wknd and DC (7) stayed with in laws. They watched The Voice during which time apparently contestants covered the Pitbull/Kesha (no idea what proper letter configuration of her name is) charmfest that includes the phrase "head down/booty up". Donâ??t know if a sanitised version used on The Voice but DC duly downloaded lyric sheet - it got past various blockers I have on DC's tablet which are, as we know, no substitute for supervision. Dc also downloaded lyrics to Uptown Funk which includes "Bitch". DH went ballistic and was criticising his mum in a panic. DC in tears worried that Granny is in trouble.
Trying to defuse things, I said Granny not in trouble but we all trying to keep grown up stuff at bay and it didn't work this time. I have also said that dc must ask me or DH first before downloading lyrics because Granny doesn't always read them well enough.
Dc has told me that will just download again. I said need to check with us first.
I don't think it fair to block even listening to Uptown Funk but even an old duffer like me knows that Kesha is a no no. I explained to Dc that sometimes you can't always hear the grown up stuff in songs but sometimes you can. Er...

1. Suggest alternative way to handle dc?
2. How do I tell MIL who will be mortified?

[sparkysparkysparky]

There were tears. She's 7. We settled things quickly. I just wanted to try and understand other people's approaches when their children come across adult themes. Overtly adult themes are much easier to stumble across than they used to be. Our Dd asks questions about anything she doesn't understand.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Sparky: Appreciate that things can be misinterpreted and your H was just A Bit Cross. Presumably your DC was just A Bit Put Out rather than in tears?

[morethanpotatoprints]

People laughed at me but my dc had no unsupervised access to the internet for this reason.
I think they were about 16.
DD is 11 and tries but her plot is usually foiled.
Tbh if you give them the access you can't complain when it goes wrong.

[ThereMustAndShallBeTea]

Right, sorry for completely missing the point of this thread, but I refuse to accept that Timber is about blow jobs. It's a drinking/partying song. Timber = calling down, face down booty up = having fallen down. Another drink, another round, etc. There is nothing except a lone voice on MN to suggest it's about bjs.

[sparkysparkysparky]

[sigh]

[SensAbility]

Sparky and Crispy, me too.
There's big fish to fry and small fish to boil and simmer.....
This was a boil and simmer if you catch my drift.

[MrsKravitzFromAcrossTheStreet]

Crispy made me do a lol

[sparkysparkysparky]

Crispy - thank you for deciphering it all so succinctly. And, of course, for getting what I was on about.

[sparkysparkysparky]

Crispy - thank you for deciphering it all so succinctly. And, of course, for getting what I was on about.

[CrispyFern]

I can't believe you encouraged your criminal DH to beat your MIL to a pulp in front of your weeping children (dressed in rags) just because she let them read a wholesome novel that vaguely alluded to someone having a bottom. Sorry, skim read, that seems to be what this is about from all the responses?

So, going against everyone else, I would be quite upset if my seven year old downloaded lyrics about blow jobs! I'd gently remind the MIL to check things online before letting your DC look in future. I think your DH has a perfectly valid worry about him saying things at school and getting into trouble! Plus, you don't want him internalising those misogynistic messages.

[sparkysparkysparky]

Thanks Sens

[SensAbility]

Sparky, I used to be a member of many forums, re disability and some medical ones too. As I've been on my own for many years bringing the children up my social life diminished and I enjoyed my 'me' time on the Internet but over the years I've experienced many 'rows' and sometimes escalating threads into arguments, because what is written is sometimes taken out of context. When we write we use phrases that mean different things to different people and also we don't see each other's expression that would probably show the meaning behind the phrase.
People's comments are usually suggestions of help etc but even then we sometimes write things that come across the wrong way.
I'm not on many forums any more and I left twitter and facebook last year after experiencing some nasty bullying.
I try now to comment on threads that I feel I can have a positive input but I usually withdraw if the bullying starts, if it's aimed at me.
I'm not suggesting that there is any bullying on here, I'm just saying that when we 'click post message' it's gone and if the post could be open to mis-interpretation then we spend a whole thread explaining ourselves. And believe me I've had to do that several times.
I've got to the stage where I will answer posts sometimes if I can support the person but I hardly ever start my own threads if it's personal to me because, as you've read on here, our words sometimes mean different things to different people.
Don't stress about it all, just move on and be careful how you explain things if you post again.
No disrespect meant BTW

[sparkysparkysparky]

Thanks Mumm. Again: chez sparky is more Outnumbered than Eastenders. We don't do rampages when we get cross. At worst, we leave the room with a Harrumph. We ALWAYS apologise to each other if we get cross abd we NEVER go to sleep on an argument. I have been taken aback at some of the responses. It only dawned on me this morning that posters had some sort of episode of Eastenders in their minds when they read my AIBU. And, yes, MIL and FIL, are fantastic support.

[Mumm300]

You are right in low key approach. I would be grateful your in laws are prepared to take child for a weekend. I never had this luxury and if your husband behaves like this you may find the in laws will withdraw their support. Your dh IBU.

[sparkysparkysparky]

Metal - no aggression, no shouting at MIL - she knows nothing of this she wasn't even there. ( see my earlier post explaining what I meant by ballistic AND what would happen to DH were there a crazed rampage as many posters have imagined ). Thank you for your concern.

[Metalguru]

I would be far more concerned at your DHs aggressive behaviour than those lyrics. Watching his "ballistic" dad shouting at his gran far more damaging than anything else that he saw that day imo

[chocolatemademefat]

I'm a lot older than seven and the phrase "head down booty up" goes over my head. It's a song not an interpretation lesson. If you hadn't made such a fuss he would've moved on to something else.

If I was your MIL I'd be telling your DH to act his age and reminding him I was doing him a favour. If something so trivial drives him into a rage I'd be concerned about his reasoning.

[sparkysparkysparky]

Thanks Jamais It did. To avoid further unnecessary but obviously kindly meant concern "going ballistic " chez sparky means having an annoyed tone in your voice. Here I could tell DH was annoyed about something - i was in another room- he said "well, I need to have words with Granny about that", I stepped in, shoed him out and soothed Dc ( who is a dd) who was upset and defiant. If DH had got into a crazed rampage he would be out on his ear and I wouldn't be wasting my time discussing pop music etiquette on Mumsnet.

[jamaisjedors]

We are abroad and all songs on the radio contain the full explicit lyrics which means I now do try and censor what the DS hear because some of it is really full-on and I don't want to get into too many discussions about song lyrics like these:

Talk Dirty - Jason Derulo
"Sold out arenas, you can suck my penis (SUNG REALLY LOUDLY)
Gilbert Arenas, guns on deck
Chest to chest, tongue on neck
International oral sex"

which was on non-stop last year.

However, I was quite pleased with DS1's misinterpretation of that Robin Thicke song - when he keeps singing "you're a good girl, you know you want it", he said, that's about a dog isn't it?

I said, err, think it's a woman, and he said, no, that's how you talk to dogs.

And of course he's right!!!

Not quite on topic OP, but thought it might make you smile!

[sparkysparkysparky]

Maybe like the great Pitbull I need to choose my words more carefully.

[RandomNPC]

Wait until DH heard about my friend Billy with the ten foot willy. His head will explode.

[skylark2]

"Dc has told me that will just download again."

How clever of him to be able to do that without access to a tablet or computer.

Give it back in a week, if and only if he's apologetic.

[SensAbility]

I'm 61 and I really thought that heads down and booty up was a dance, like twerking lol
I agree with most posters on here that your DH should have handled it differently.
And also the need for more parental control re the Internet etc.
I can remember several years ago and a friend of mine who was a lunchtime assistant in a primary school and I was shocked when she told me how the 5 to 7 year olds had the worst language she'd ever heard..
It may be sad but times have changed so much and some teenagers especially seem to be more hostile with each other and even bad mouth each other much more than 'we' used to. I never swore at my Mum and Dad even though I heard bad language around me, but times have changed so much.
I'm not condoning the language in some lyrics today and indeed over the years, I'm a lover of rock music so I have a collection of music with some dubious lyrics in too, but let's face it, chart music now has a certain catchment and they rely on the kids and teenagers with money and Internet access to download their music etc so they have to appeal to that catchment age ! with 'music', 'lyrics' and 'videos' and sex and violence is used both in music and 'gaming' to entice the catchment group to make the purchases etc..
Music has changed so much over the years.. and thankfully we still have some classics around of different genres and tastes, to still listen to, but I'll probably be shot down for saying this but lots of the chart stuff is targeted at this catchment who aspire to be like their idols and they think that swearing , 'in your face sexuality', hostility and being disrespectful is acceptable.! ( I bet many of us could relate to this in our teenage years)
But it's nothing new really, look at the Punk era! and some would say even as far back as the Teddy Boy era too... Elvis nearly got banned for gyrating his hips lol.........
Sensible Parenting needed to monitor the Net and Downloading in General.
My youngest daughter(she's disabled) likes to go on you tube and see all the kids singing 'Frozen' songs, but I've had to jump in several times when it appears that some crank has done his 'own kind' of Frozen video and up loaded it on to you tube..
I wouldn't have sleepless nights over it.. save that for bigger issues like the birds and the birds guidance, relationships, and drug use awareness, issues like these are the ones to sweat over.. Good luck

[SolidGoldBrass]

Sparky you said your H 'went ballistic' and left your DC 'in tears worried that Granny is in trouble'. Sounds pretty aggressive to me.

[sparkysparkysparky]

Good point Grays. I stand corrected. Thanks. She accessed completely normal and in no way unsuitable lyrics from some song lyric website. left on a tab. Tab removed after gentle discussion. No attempt or interest even in accessing again.