... to try for a low key response to this ( inappropriate song lyrics accessed when Dc under MIL Supervision)

[sparkysparkysparky]

DH and I had a night off from duty at wknd and DC (7) stayed with in laws. They watched The Voice during which time apparently contestants covered the Pitbull/Kesha (no idea what proper letter configuration of her name is) charmfest that includes the phrase "head down/booty up". Donâ??t know if a sanitised version used on The Voice but DC duly downloaded lyric sheet - it got past various blockers I have on DC's tablet which are, as we know, no substitute for supervision. Dc also downloaded lyrics to Uptown Funk which includes "Bitch". DH went ballistic and was criticising his mum in a panic. DC in tears worried that Granny is in trouble.
Trying to defuse things, I said Granny not in trouble but we all trying to keep grown up stuff at bay and it didn't work this time. I have also said that dc must ask me or DH first before downloading lyrics because Granny doesn't always read them well enough.
Dc has told me that will just download again. I said need to check with us first.
I don't think it fair to block even listening to Uptown Funk but even an old duffer like me knows that Kesha is a no no. I explained to Dc that sometimes you can't always hear the grown up stuff in songs but sometimes you can. Er...

1. Suggest alternative way to handle dc?
2. How do I tell MIL who will be mortified?

[Whatutalkinboutwillis]

Swap with you! My 7 year old ds also stayed with gran this weekend and came home telling me all about some police show he watched and how baddies swallow drugs in "balloons" to smuggle them into the country!

[sparkysparkysparky]

Poor Grans. Can't do right etc etc! You made me laugh, Willis. Thank you.

[yellowdinosauragain]

I think if your dh hadn't losty his rag you could quite easily have 'lost' the lyrics with your child none the wiser. I mean I have no chuffing idea what 'head down booty up' means (can guess) and I'm a fairly savvy 42 year old!

[bettyboop1970]

Massive over reaction, if you think you can protect your DS from ever hearing such words you are living in cloud cuckoo land!

[pinkyredrose]

I have no chuffing idea what 'head down booty up' means (can guess) and I'm a fairly savvy 42 year old!

Seriously?

[INickedAName]

I dunno what it means either and I'm 35, I'm far from a prude either, I'll happily explains to my mum around the family table what DragonButter :)
I'm guessing either

69 position?
Woman on all fours or bent over?

Never heard the song though in my defence.

[GraysAnalogy]

they were only looking at song lyrics. Unfortunately you can't block every swear word in their lives. At that age I would have looked, been shocked, felt a bit naughty but still never uttered the words.

[NeedaDiscoNap]

'Timber', which that lyric comes from, is about blowjobs. That pitbull's a right charmer!

[SolidGoldBrass]

Does your H often tantrum like this? His reaction is extreme enough to be worrying as it's over something really trivial.
Also, if your DC is a girl (I take on board the fact that you might prefer not to be specific for privacy reasons) a father who is hung up on a daughter's 'innocence' not being 'corrupted' has a very unhealthy attitude which can tip over into all sorts of unpleasantness.
It's fine to point out to kids that certain words are impolite or hurtful, and that children shouldn't repeat them (my usual method with my DS is he can use words like that himself when he's old enough to understand why other people find them objectionable and make his own judgement: until then he is just not to say them.) But pooing yourself with fury over the word 'bitch' is scarily excessive. What's he going to do if the kid hears someone shouting 'cunt' in the street?

[INickedAName]

To the OP, we have a blanket rule that nothing is to be downloaded on any device, unless permission is gotten first. She knows I can check and knows that if I find out she has then her dives etc will be disconnected from the net. I had to check my Xbox live accounts yesterday (Microsoft was saying it was blocked and I immediately thought it was her purchasing stuff when there was no funds) and she hasn't ever dloaded anything on it. Felt like shit though even though I hadn't accused her.
She's been around computers etc from a baby so it's always been a rule but I think if she threatened to dload anyway even after I've said she can't I'd would disconnecting it from internet. That's just me though, not saying you should do that. Song lyrics isn't something I've much thought to but I will now as I know dd looks the odd few up. It's also possible to get song lyrics without actually downloading by searching with a browser.

[YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually]

Slightly off topic, but does anyone remember the Mner who was in the car with teenage DC and DC friends when that song with lyrics "I want to make you wet" came on the radio, and the OP said something like "make you wet? What's he going to do, use a hosepipe"

I still laugh at that!

[sparkysparkysparky]

Can I just check, Solid? Is it Ok for a primary age boy to say to a primary age girl "face down booty up". This was what DH was worried might happen (at the end of a bad day -see earlier post) if this sort of lyric is normalised. I've read some handy tips from other posters about playing it all down. Thanks to them all.

[SolidGoldBrass]

Oo, waa, the world will fucking end if a kid says 'head down, booty up' to another kid, eh? Get a grip. To primary age kids, that's the semantic equivalent of 'poo bum willy willy.' They know it's a bit rude and winds up adults, and that's all it really means to them.

[sparkysparkysparky]

Thanks, solid, for clarifying what's Ok and what's not. Donâ??t think we're going to agree on this one.

[ThereMustAndShallBeTea]

Huh, I always thought Timber was about drinking

[APlaiceInTheSun]

Sparky if it's any consolation my 2 (10and 7) think it means a dance move. Think the 10 yo might be realising it means something a bit different...

I have more of a problem with the " says she won't but I bet she will" line. But- they are too young to really understand it and IMO the bigger the fuss the more interested they get. And unfortunately those sort of lyrics are already normalised and have been for a while.

[Alya81]

Gosh, you've made this a massive deal haven't you. Your DC will probably want to do it all the more now, much better to downplay such things.

[sparkysparkysparky]

If you read the posts you'll see I am happy to play it down. But, perhaps inevitably, the cod - psychology started to piss me off. I think we're done.

[vdbfamily]

Just to put a slightly different viewpoint,if my kids like and start singing a song,we tend to look at the lyrics together and if it is rude or contains swear words we do not play it/sing it. My DH and I do not swear and expect our children to not swear,so why would we have them listening to and singing along with a song containing swear words.There are plenty good songs that do not. I don't really get the argument that they will hear worse on the playground,they do hear worse at school,but they certainly do not repeat it at home(more than once!!) I think parents are far too laid back about this and it is one of the many reasons, along with being allowed to watch adult tv and have unsupervised internet access, that our kids are having to grow up so quickly.

[SolidGoldBrass]

It's a fairly good indicator of a stupid person if they get ridiculously wound up about swearing. One brief, reasonable explanation of the fact that some words hurt some people's feelings and it's therefore better to avoid them unless you're sure about what you're saying is sufficient. Making a huuuuuuge fuss and prohibiting stuff all over the place is never a good idea (think of all the fucknuggets who have wanted to prevent children reading important books because someone says 'arse' or bugger' on one page out of hundreds.)

[CrapBag]

I have this song on my I pod and let my children choose it for their separate playlists.

Children won't understand the lyrics, just like we didn't with the many inappropriate songs that were around years ago. I loved Madonna but listening to her lyrics as an adult makes me realise how much went over my head.

I have loads of current music on my I pod and I do cringe at some of it if the DCs are in earshot or its on the radio but they don't really understand.

[Meerka]

Oh heavens, they're gonig to hear this all the time. You aren't going to be able to cut out all bad language they hear unless you time-travel back to the victorian middle-class era.

Hopefully the sexual references will go over their head. If not, then a good explanation is that it's something that adults who are special sorts of friends sometimes do together, if they like each other a lot. Covers a multitude of sins that (I live in the less-than-reticent verbally, but rather conservative in action, NL. There've been a few conversations that have needed a quiet, calm breath first).

Like most other people I think your husband needs to accept exposure to this sort of stuff is going to happen, and teach the kids how to deal with it. Not your MIL's fault at all.

[yellowdinosauragain]

It's a fairly good indicator of a stupid person if they get ridiculously wound up about swearing. One brief, reasonable explanation of the fact that some words hurt some people's feelings and it's therefore better to avoid them unless you're sure about what you're saying is sufficient. Making a huuuuuuge fuss and prohibiting stuff all over the place is never a good idea (think of all the fucknuggets who have wanted to prevent children reading important books because someone says 'arse' or bugger' on one page out of hundreds.)

This. Sniggered quite a lot at fucknuggets too

[SistersOfPercy]

I never censored music, they would hum if they got to a word they weren't allowed (and we listened to a lot of guns n roses so there was a fair bit of humming). It seemed pointless to me to censor as we went to a lot of festivals etc where they heard uncensored music anyway.

I think it is fair to say as a child you don't really get the lyrics, I've heard something many times as an adult and thought 'oh, it means that!' But as a child I was clueless. For years I thought Frankie had a mate that doesn't want to go out. The innocence of youth

[TrendStopper]

What a load of bollocks. My dd when she was a toddler loved the pussycat dolls and would dance about to it. She has turned out perfect. I let my 10yr old listen to any type of music from Eminem to Celine dion, from Ellie Goulding to slipknot. Her favourite song at the moment is take me to church by hozier.