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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you chose a nursery over a childminder or vv?

178 replies

mummyrunnerbean · 31/01/2015 08:59

Just that really. Starting the great childcare hunt and feel all at sea- I'm going back to uni in September when he'll be 13 months.

Also, have already posted asking in childcare, but what in particular should I be looking for, in either case, beyond the obvious?

OP posts:
OutOfTime · 09/09/2016 13:53

He was also a reliable napper so at a nursery he could go down for a sleep without being woken to go to the school /shopping

Frusso · 09/09/2016 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lindy2 · 09/09/2016 21:57

I've noticed some people on here aren't keen on school runs. I'm a childminder and do do school runs with the children I look after. It's about a 10 minute walk so not far. I firmly believe the young children do get a lot out if it even though an adult may view as a mundane chore.

  • the children become familiar with the school environment. For a lot it is the school they will attend. It is much less daunting for them on their first day if they know exactly where they are going and a bit of what to expect.
  • they make friends or see friends they already know whilst we are waiting.
  • they become familiar with the school routine of going in the morning and coming home in the afternoon.
  • the school often does class exhibitions or open class rooms so we all go in and look. The children really enjoy this.
  • they look forward to seeing the older children at the end of the school day as they are their friends.
  • the mindees get to watch special assemblies, harvest festivals, sports days, school nativities etc and really enjoy these events. It further forges their links with the school long before they attend it.
For me school runs are another daily activity not something to be dreaded or avoided.
mimishimmi · 10/09/2016 04:45

It's reliable and, I think, more accountable - workers have others watching them etc.

squizita · 10/09/2016 09:18

We found an excellent nursery. Really good. You have the reliability but on the down side it's at my work end of the journey ... so pick ups and drop offs are all mine.

squizita · 10/09/2016 09:25

Oh and those (Inc CM) who raise key person bonding - this is something to raise with a good nursery. They will have a plan in place. My child was linked to a key worker who is in when she is in, specialising in her age, with no more than 4 other "named" kids. It is not just on paper, she is a 'hub' (although other adults all interact and my child trusts them).

I dare say there are some nurseries that dont but do not assume that the "bond" only occurs in a CM environment.

DD mentions her key worked by name. She articulates that she "do mummy daddy hug, mummy daddy ere you go dinner" (ie routines and warmth) and gives her a hug at home time. If she isn't there, she is also familiar and trusting with the other staff too, and knows their names etc.
It was something I specifically checked (via parents as well as the nursery official stuff) before deciding.

Fulltimemummy85 · 10/09/2016 12:25

I would never have a child minder again. Mine took my daughter to the shops, school runs and doctor appointments. She was also awkward with drop off times and fell out with parents, in the end she had to get an assistant as she couldn't handle the amount of kids she was looking after. Since my daughter has gone to nursery we haven't had an issue, they are under numbers so are quite flexible and were in fact cheaper than the cm!

Dontyoulovecalpol · 10/09/2016 12:40

It's interesting that nursery workers have said they wouldn't want their own children there. Nearly all the nursery nurses at DTs nursery have their own children there which surprises me as is a poorly paid job and nursery is v expensive (obviously they get a staff discount)

Our nursery is amazing. They have amazing bonds with their key workers and very little staff turnover. You just have to choose a good one (as with CM)

kisstory · 10/09/2016 13:32

I found a good nursery for DS
It's on the campus of the university I attend
Reliable and flexible
All the girls are so sweet
They have a massive outdoor area where they plant flowers and grow vegetables
And what sold it me was one of the staff was leaving and she was sending her daughter to nursery there

JellyBelli · 10/09/2016 13:41

I could get a free nursery place, the local nursery has brilliant big outdoor toys and a huge safe playground, and there were loads of other children.
For me it was the best option.

champersandgin · 10/09/2016 14:02

Childminder for mine for many of the reasons already mentioned.

When I first started looking for childcare, I went with a childminder because she was cheaper than the local nurseries - £420 per month as opposed to £900. I was a teacher so she charged half fees for holidays rather than the full fees the nursery charged.

I would never have changed it. A good childminder is worth their weight in gold. My DDs childminder was wonderful and they adored each other. She is still a wonderful friend.

We were not near family for back up but she was never sick, took holidays in school holiday time so that never affected me abs was happy to cover Parents evenings etc. She even had my DD for a week when my son was in intensive care for a week in London and refused to take any more than her usual daily rate!

AbbeyBartlet · 10/09/2016 14:12

Another bloody zombie thread??? Seriously, just start your own thread to save people wading through posts that are 18 months old!

Justontherightsideofnormal · 10/09/2016 21:16

I have worked in both situations, I'm now a childminder and absolutely love my work, I have fantastic relationships with all my mindees (5 in total) I have a maximum of 3 in any one day. I have teenage children of my own. I worked in a nursery environment previous to this as a manager. If I had my children again I would not put them into a nursery (which is what I did when they were young) However back when I had to make a decision about childcare I visited a childminder and was not confident with her care. Now I have been on both sides of the fence I would choose a childminder. We do take holidays and we all work differently (and sometimes may be poorly and have to take time off) but the rewards of a small child being in a home environment out weigh that (in my opinion).

WhateverWillBe · 10/09/2016 21:45

Childminder without doubt. Mainly because I want complete control over who actually cares for my children. With a nursery, you effectively employ the company to care for your child but have no actual say in whether they're cared for by a seasoned 35 year old professional or a 16 year old school leaver.

I know (in RL) about 7 or 8 people who either work or have worked in nurseries - all of them, every one, is of the opinion that they'd never let their own child step foot in one, which is very telling for me. Some of the stories i've heard from past staff (such as 16 year old work-experience girls being left alone with a room of 6 under 1's at a time) make me feel sick.

WhateverWillBe · 10/09/2016 21:49

I also struggle to understand why people dislike school runs tbh.

Going about a normal every-day day is one of the things I love about a cm. Including (when they were younger and there all day) a school run or the occasional supermarket/dentist trip.

Sometimes the cm takes the dc out all day (during school holidays anyway) - the park, the local lake, long walks where they collect things and go back and do arts with them...they're on the go constantly.

When it's pissing down with rain or one of the dc is feeling miserable with a cold, she'll let them cuddle on her sofa under a blanket and watch too many movies with hot chocolate.

Love my cm, can you tell?

Yorkieheaven · 10/09/2016 22:04

Well not a cm now but was for 10 years.

All the mindees were and still are extended family and when they were at our house they were family.

I did everything I did with my kids with mindees so all home based crafts and the park, woods, nature walks, swimming. Hide and seek, visiting animal sanctuaries and farms, shops, going on the bus and the train, dress up, music, etc.

Best fun ever.

A previous now 18 year old mindee brought me a drink in our local 2 weeks ago. And a huge hug.

Priceless and not sure that would be a nursery experience. Grin

Jane2406 · 10/09/2016 22:10

We thought carefully but picked a CM for DD1 when she went at 6 months. The first wasn't a good fit for many reasons & after a few weeks we mutually decided to get someone else. The second has been absolutely amazing though, very relaxed & like a home from home, so DD2 starts there on Tuesday 3 years after her sister.

I worried about CM being sick but thankfully those days have been few & far between, she's even taken DD1 when I'm pretty sure a nursery would have turned her away. The only issue is holidays but we've a good relationship so she tends to work around my holidays which I have to request from work more than 12 months in advance.

I went to a CM when I was little & have only happy memories so that swung it for us.

Jane2406 · 10/09/2016 22:13

Like yorkieheaven my CM & her kids were like an extended family. Our DDs CM & her son come to family events like DD2s christening a few weeks ago so she knows the (true horror) of our family!

WhateverWillBe · 10/09/2016 22:18

she's even taken DD1 when I'm pretty sure a nursery would have turned her away

CM was a Godsend when my two had CP. She had only one other mindee at the time, who'd had CP (and she checked the parent was OK with it), her eldest child had had it and she was keen for her younger child to catch it anyway...so she had mine for the week or so they were 'fine' just infectious. No way on Earth they could have gone to a nursery.

Yorkieheaven · 10/09/2016 22:20

jane usually means your cm is older and lived the 'horror' and understands and enjoys supporting other mums through it Grin

maddening · 10/09/2016 22:23

We went for a nursery as we couldn't risk a cm being sick and it also spread the risk of a "bad" carer. as one in a nursery would a) be a percentage of the caring staff and b) would be in view of other staff so less opportunity for abuse esp when dealing with a baby or non verbal toddler who would not be able to tell me if something were wrong. Additionally having seen the cm troupe out at baby groups with their charges being ignored while they sat and gossiped I didn't want to run that risk. I know thre are many fab dm out there bu I would never know if I had chosen a wrongun - yes a nursery could fail me and could employ a bad egg but the risk was reduced imo

Chikara · 10/09/2016 23:32

Cm for both mine from age 3 months - 8 /9 years. CMs became friends.

They cared for my children so well. Food was excellent - home-cooked for 6 not 60. The home setting was particularly important for DS who was sensitive, ( later dx dyspraxic). Parks and trips and school pick ups all worked. Huge house, nice garden. Mixed ages was great for them. Two women worked in a team - never sick. V happy.
It was a horrible thing to have to choose though - I had no idea, (and no friends and no MN)

Tanith · 10/09/2016 23:32

It concerns me when parents cite "safety in numbers" as a reason for choosing a nursery. It can be absolute hell if the staff scapegoat one particular child - and please don't be so naive as to think it doesn't happen.

maddening · 11/09/2016 08:46

Of course it will happen but can equally happen with a cm, and then it is 100% of the staff rather than one amongst several - and then there is potential of another adult witnessing behavior and raising an alarm.

Dontyoulovecalpol · 11/09/2016 08:47

Yes I'm a bit confused about the scapegoating- it can happen anywhere. At least at nursery you have a far higher chance of witnesses/ whistleblowing and a management and performance structure in place to deal with it