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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask why you chose a nursery over a childminder or vv?

178 replies

mummyrunnerbean · 31/01/2015 08:59

Just that really. Starting the great childcare hunt and feel all at sea- I'm going back to uni in September when he'll be 13 months.

Also, have already posted asking in childcare, but what in particular should I be looking for, in either case, beyond the obvious?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 31/01/2015 09:27

Childminders give a human touch, more cuddles, calmer, quieter environment, more 1 to 1 time.

All things a good nursery does

Only1scoop · 31/01/2015 09:28

I felt comfortable scrutinising nurseries....looking around questioning the staff etc....

Personally I felt a little strange thinking of asking to look around someone's house etc....

Also wanted dd to be in a Nursery style environment not in someone's house.

dragonfly007 · 31/01/2015 09:29

I was a sahm for a while and found the cm would regularly meet up at groups / soft play and ignore their kids. They were always at the cheapest groups, their fav being the church run where you paid for the first child and the other children went free. Didn't attend often as the group was chaotic mainly because of the cm.

We now use a cm for after school and much as I love her, she has given me great tips on foods to use when we are in a hurry. My kids prefer the junk I quickly serve before beavers, swimming - hot dogs, pizza not a vegetable in sight!

bamboostalks · 31/01/2015 09:30

I chose a cm because, as a poster said before, I have worked in many different nurseries and instinctively do not think they're a good enough setting for under 3s really and a complete no no for under 2s. Yes I know some children love them but that's not enough for me. Kids love routine essentially which is what a nursery provides so that's what they love imo but for me, there is not definitely not enough opportunity to develop a really strong one to one relationship with a single carer. If you're dropping off your child for 10 hours a day, they will need that with someone other than you or your partner. Although nurseries claim to offer that, the reality is that it doesn't happen as they're constantly moving rooms etc.

lightgreenglass · 31/01/2015 09:30

I have a CM but there's 2 of them and a group of children - I've never seen more than 6 at one time. They rent a separate house to CM in and don't do dentists, school runs etc so it is like a mini nursery but with a home feel and they all go out once a day at least to playgroups, softplay etc. I saw 2 nurseries and it felt that the children were in 1 room all day. One of them was chaos. DS is 16 months but maybe when he turns 3 I will send him to preschool/nursery for the more educational side of things but then again he loves it there so why move him.

CobbOnn · 31/01/2015 09:31

Nursery felt more regulated- no random relatives or friends popping round. Was recommended a lovely small nursery round the corner from work. Was the only place I looked at, felt comfortable there straight away. My son loves it- a real family feel. He's thriving because of it.

bamboostalks · 31/01/2015 09:34

I am really shocked at posters who actually admit that they don't want their child to develop a bond with a carer other than themselves. Do you not know how vital that is to early development of brain and emotions? It's proving more and more essential as studies are showing all the time. I think it's very selfish and odd tbh. There's no limit to how much a child can love, you'll always be number 1 to them. They need a strong emotional connection all day when you've left them.

Purplepoodle · 31/01/2015 09:34

Nursery for all 3 dc, my reasons were

  • structured days
  • lots of room to play and no tv
  • social aspects
  • opening hours 7 to 6.30 (most childminders here don't like past 6pm)
  • best of both worlds - all my boys had a key worker who they spent time with each day but variety of staff.
  • daycare never sick
  • aleast another pair of eyes, I worried that with a childminder that no one would see if they did anything to my children, where there daycare have an open door policy. As long as your a parent you can walk in any time of the day, reception will let you in and you can peep through the glass doors in each room to watch the kids - very reassuring.
treaclesoda · 31/01/2015 09:38

I chose a childminder because I wanted the home environment. And also, in reality it was my only option as there are no nurseries near where I live that would have been able to do a pick up from pre-school, so if she had gone to nursery she would have missed out on going to preschool.

Having said that, what I loved about my childminder was that it was like home - dd used to potter around with cm helping her put her washing in the machine and do the hoovering etc before sitting down for cbeebies and a cuddle. And I can see from reading threads on here that mine is not a popular view, as most people seem to want a more formal childcare experience, more like a nursery. But that was exactly what I didn't want.

Only1scoop · 31/01/2015 09:39

There is a childminder who is everyday on the school run....she brings a baby with her in the car and another pre schooler.

I know not all childminders have to do this but I didn't want dd tagging along.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 31/01/2015 09:41

Childminder. I went back to work when dd was 8mo and I prefered the smaller scale of a CMs. Its a lot like a family she has gained. They go out somewhere every single day (park, beach, museum, toddlers), plus things like a trip to the bank or post office, the food is amazing, they all get good amounts of 1:1 time. CM does school pickups and drop offs but no car so only local schools and all on foot. She has open door policy so I can walk in any time. In the three years I have used her she has never had a sickday. Infact, if she is only minding my dd that day she will even take her if unwell, makes her a little bed on the couch and really "mothers her" (happenes twice).

I now send dd to the local Preschool every afternoon and CM does the drop off and pick up too most days unless I am off work.

pullthecracker · 31/01/2015 09:42

Dd1 went to a nursery as I was worried about illness etc with a cm, dd2 started at a nursery, it was difficult for them to fit in with my working hours and I got a cm. Never regretted it once, she's never been off sick in 5 years, she loves my DD and I know she is really cared for by her. She sends me pictures and texts through the day so I know what she's doing, fits in with my hours, doesn't worry if dh is running late to pick her up. Dd loves going there. I don't feel like she's just one of 15 children that move rooms and get forgotten as they grow.

Momzilla82 · 31/01/2015 09:47

Thanks bambooshoots for telling me I'm selfish and harming my son's development. I did say the reasons were irrational. I didn't say I didn't want him to have healthy attachments to other people- indeed he did with his key worker, just I preferred this to be multiple people not just one person for the whole 4 years. Less judging please, I was being honest not inviting criticism.

Sorry to have shocked so early on a Saturday have some Cake and Brew.

Ionacat · 31/01/2015 09:49

Chose a CM exactly because I didn't want the formal structure of a nursery either and I wanted to know who is looking after my daughter rather than lots of different staff. All the CMs round here kept telling you, have you gone to see so and so, to make sure that you find the right one of you. Our CM also now drops my DD off at her preschool and I've got friends that know our childminder even when DD started at 8 months, they would say to me that she was always happy and smiling when they bumped into her.

wigglylines · 31/01/2015 09:52

CMs often work in pairs or groups so they offer some cover when the other is ill. Or can still work knowing the other one will pick up the slack. We've had three CMs and sickness has never been an issue.

We chose a CM as I thought it would be nicer for DS / DD to get to know a small group of kids. (The social aspect is why I'd choose a CM over a nanny).

Also, it was really important to me that they did all sorts of stuff out in the world with the CMs we chose- visiting parks, the woods and groups. I much preferred the idea of my kids being off having adventures in the woods rather than stuck in the same old nursery rooms day after day.

Also I much prefer it that they get to know - and be loved by - the same grownup(s) every day at a CM.

Purplepoodle · 31/01/2015 09:54

Also should add I liked nursery too because they have naps in proper cot beds until they don't need naps anymore - uninterrupted. Nearly all cm here do school runs/nursery runs and nap kids in car seat. Plus if one of my younger dc threw themselves out of napping routine the nursery are brilliant at reastablishing it - giving everyone a better nights sleep.

Food was a big issue for me. It's hard being a working mum and providing healthy balanced meals. My nursery has its own cook with nutritionally balanced meals. Means I'm not stressing about making food and the eat very well so they only need a snack when I pick them up at night.

CommanderShepard · 31/01/2015 09:55

Nursery. The childminders who had places had no outdoor space and "sometimes" went to the park "if the weather's really nice but it's a bit of a hassle".

adsy · 31/01/2015 09:57

For the people who don't like the idea of their children doing the school run ( leaving aside the facts they enjoy getting out and it prepares them for when they start school) what do you propose doing for before / after school care when your dc begin school? If the school clubs aren't open for the needed hours, this is where the continuity of care for dc is invaluable as your lo would then be taken to school by cm

IsabellaofFrance · 31/01/2015 09:57

I suppose it was my own prejudice. I wanted a nursery because I thought it would be structured, help DS learn and socialise with a wide group of adults and children.

Artandco · 31/01/2015 09:58

Nanny or childminder for under 3.

Nursery only as 2-3 hr a day pre school.

Nursery is very full on/ constant noise/ constant pressure of activities. With a nanny or childminder they can think say Monday trip to castle, but then if child arrives and is under the weather/ tired, they can change plan for them. Children need downtime to potter in garden and help make breakfast or take a nap when they like. Nursery has to be more structured and less flexible due to number of children

CommanderShepard · 31/01/2015 10:00

Sorry - posted too soon - DD's nursery, by contrast, has a huge garden and allotment and if the children want to go outside in the pouring rain it's on with the rainsuits and out they go. They went to the woods in the summer to explore and had ice creams.

Chunderella · 31/01/2015 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

adsy · 31/01/2015 10:00

My nursery has its own cook with nutritionally balanced meals so does my cm setting. the cooks are me and dh and our food is a much better quality than any nursery I've ever been in as the kids eat what we eat and I like decent food!

betweenmarchandmay · 31/01/2015 10:00

Adsy, you're always going to be chancing and reviewing your choices as your children grow.

I just knew I did not want my two year old traipsing on a school run twice a day. Evidently it doesn't bother a lot of people and they choose a childminder based on this.

girliefriend · 31/01/2015 10:00

I think some of it depends on what sort of child you have, my dd was a very sensitive baby and easily over stimulated (sensory issues)I felt a nursery would have been over whelming for her. I went back to work p/t when she was 8 months and cm worked well for us.

Also cm was able to offer some flexibility in terms of hours and days which was very useful as my work days weren't set in stone. She was also part of a network of cm that helped each other out if one of them was ill.

Having said that she did start at nursery when she was 2yo as I felt she would enjoy it at that point, make friends etc and she did (although found it very tiring!)

Dd is 8yo now and still goes to a cm after school once or twice a week, she prefers this to the after school club.

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