To ask why you chose a nursery over a childminder or vv?

[mummyrunnerbean]

Just that really. Starting the great childcare hunt and feel all at sea- I'm going back to uni in September when he'll be 13 months.

Also, have already posted asking in childcare, but what in particular should I be looking for, in either case, beyond the obvious?

I went with nursery for under 5's

No issues with sickness (enough staff to cover absence)
The nursery was structured with age based rooms - so babies where in a quiet calm room and they moved as they got older
More eyes - which I just felt safer with

Now all 3 are in school I use a CM - she is brilliant and very laid back - they are tired after school and she lets them veg and relax - they love it

Mozilla

If you know it's irrational then why continue putting your needs above your child's?

As for judging, this is mumsnet.

Opinions not judgements.

Mozilla

If you know it's irrational then why continue putting your needs above your child's?

As for judging, this is mumsnet.

Opinions not judgements.

A nursery would win for me everytime for various reasons.

Cover for sickness and holidays, no paying double whilst CM is on holiday and childcare still needed.
No lone adults, plenty of other people around. No friends visiting, relatives etc.
Numerous toys and other children the same age and plenty outdoor space.
No being dragged on school runs, to the shops, bank etc. Any outings are planned for fun.
Plenty of structured play rather than playing at putting the washing on etc as the CM has housework to do.
No dogs.

Asdy - why does my 20 month old need to get used to the school run now. Most kids finish here at 2 so he would have to be woken early. When time comes daycare will take him to preschool and pick him up then he will go to wrap round care at school, just same as my older 2

I think key is look at what care is available and question them - make a list of stuff you want to ask. Gut instinct is good as well. I fell in love with our daycare as they took my then undiagnosed adhd toddler in their stride. I don't think a childminder alone could have coped with him. The place just gives me a really good feel. My terrible 3s ds is difficult at the moment but daycare have the staff to take him off by himself to give him calm down space. Usually getting a cuddle on the huge bean bag in the mangers office.

One of my best friends is an amazing childminder esp for quiet/sensitive children. We did think of asking her but my boys are a handful even as toddlers so nursery gives/gave them chance to let off steam. She confided to me later that she was glad we hadn't asked her as she said she didn't think she would be a good fit for my ds. But as I said iv seen her work wonders with very shy children

I sent my first to a nursery because I didn't like the idea of someone I didn't know having unsupervised access to my pfb. Downsides included lots of bugs, nursery refusing to take her once she had caught said bugs and lots of unsettling changes for her as she moved from baby room to toddler room middle room and pre school room.
Second went to a childminder. Less bugs, childminder happy to take ill child once on medication and give medication. Cm Even collected sick pfb from school when I was stuck at other side of city.
Only advice I would give is ask around at children's centres, neighbours, friends etc. I wish I had done this for my pfb as cm was excellent came highly recommended and my 2nd was much happier, did a wider variety of activities, visited so many placesand groups and socialised with lots of children of similar and different age groups as she belong to a cm group. They also backed each other up for sickness etc. So we were never let down once.

Nursery for me every time. whilst on mat leave I saw some terrible childminders at toddler groups/ coffee shops. who sat chatting with friend and the poor children were having no interaction with the person who is being paid too.
I also didn't like the idea of school runs, I have seen children eating toast in prams in the playground as no time for breakfast due to school run. breakfast should be a social occasion. not eaten on the run. I could list many more, but don't want to turn it into a childminders bashing thread. I am sure there are some brilliant ones. but its hard to tell.
Someone said earlier they are yet to hear of a nursery worker who would send their own child. I work in a great nursery and both my children have attended. made great friends. lovely relationship with staff. both my children are bright and un damaged from being looked after by more than one person.

I have an early years degree and experience with most types of setting.I wouldn't touch a nursery with a barge pole.

My order of preference would be grandparents or other relations,nanny,childminder-all with a few hours of quality pre school sessions a week from 3.

You just go with the best that is available. Here when the weather is fine the school run is on foot along a country lane. Once a week cm takes them to Toddlers at the school where most of them will go. She has two older dc one primary yr4 and one secondary yr8. At home there is a garden/paddock with outdoor toys and equipment. There are lambs and calves to play with/feed in season and with parental authorisation. There is a big farmhouse kitchen with a massive fire behind a fixed guard and a wooden table for baking etc. There is an open door policy for parents and a warm welcome. She makes birthday cakes for them and her dh also has a CRB check so he can help out on occasion. She never has more than 2 babies and two toddlers with a couple of school age dc after school.

Bear in mind dd went with recommendation from HV and from other mums. This cm has a long waiting list.

I (grandma) do all other care not done by cm or parents so I do 2/3 cm does 2/3 and dsil who is self employed normally manages the Friday.

I chose a childminder as my 2 started at 6 months and 9 months and I wanted home from home environment. Also I have my mum nearby who could step in last minute if childminder was ill. I also teach so she childminder charged 1/2 price for school holidays as I didn't need care. Lastly, local nursery did not have a good reputation. I don't think there is much difference between a good nursery or good childminder, just what suits your needs best. However, do your research and trust your instincts. I had 2 excellent childminders as we had to move area, but one month with an appalling childminder and I'm so glad I pulled my dd's out as the stories I've heard about her since make me shudder.

lePetit i find your comment so extreme!

Surely it depends what's available to people in their areas? Are you writing off EVERY nursery in the country?

I sought advice from family who work in early years all recommended CM. Plus personally the education structure thing isn't for me, they lose their life to structure once they hit school. I wanted my son in a family setting, doing normal everyday things whether that meant a visit to dentist or ikea then so be it. My CM will also take my Son if he is under the weather(unless d&v) with a temp and will care for him as her own. We have only had one or two days in 4 years where she has been ill.

It totally depends on what is available in your area and your child's nature. DH is a CM, and our own DD went to nursery (before he started CMing), and goes to the school nursery now.

The kids we have here are really well settled. They absolutely do have a strong bond with DH, and with the rest of the family and the other children too. They do the school/nursery runs generally on foot and the littlies have naturally fallen in to a routine of napping then - we had cots but they were both buggy sleepers with their mums too. One of the littlies came to us from a nursery setting - a good well rated nursery which wasn't suiting her, she had chronic eczema and was coming out of nursery literally bleeding with it. A few weeks here, with one person who watched her and without so many other children and it was 90% better. The other started as a 6 month old baby and again, is incredibly settled. The older kids (5 and 6 year old) treat the wee ones like younger siblings.

On the flip side, DD loved her nursery and we kept sending her a couple of mornings a week because the children DH had full time were several years younger. We now have somebody whose child attends the same nursery who wants to send their child here for part of the week so that the child can get more outdoor time as the nursery has limited outdoor space. We have none - but the school runs, playtime, toddler groups, trips to the park etc would mean a lot more time being outside and active than they get at the moment.

Short answer there is no right or wrong - but some people have major misconceptions about both types of settings.

Thank you all so much. It's really interesting to hear the different perspectives. We're going to see one nursery on Tuesday and hopefully a couple more later in the week. Unfortunately no campus nursery as I'm a medical student and will be at different hospitals every term. I'm just not sure how to work it in terms of hours- I'll be commuting at least an hour and a half each way, and with the best will in the world don't know if I'll be able to get back by 6 which seems to be when most places finish. DP can do drop-offs to let me go early but he often has to work late/ is doing a funny shift so can't do pick-ups. Ergh! Your thoughts are much-appreciated though!

My choice of nursery over cm was also influenced by the fact he only goes 3x a week for 7-8hrs a day.
If it was longer days or more I might have considered a cm.

As a childminder I just want to say..

In 12 years I have only closed my setting 4 times due to sickness.

I follow the same rules/regs as a nursery with the same EYFS curriculum.

I am inspected with the same regularity as a nursery by the same body.

I am very flexible in terms of time - I cover shift work and unsocial hours. I take children if they are "under the weather", td days, bank holidays or other emergency days as required.
I have never, in 37 years of caring for under 16's in a variety of settings, had a child become more attached to me than its parents - that is a complete myth.

I love all "my" children. We have a fantastic time doing all sorts of things. I can, and do, everything and more that a nursery does.

I have children that have been in my care from a few months old until secondary school - some have stayed until they were 14+.

I teach them how to shop and cook a meal, we grow our own flowers and veg, we celebrate all festivals, they are all well known in the community and by my friends and neighbours. Doing the school run means they know all the children they end up at school with because they play at the gates daily.

I give lots of hugs and TLC, I administer medicines & first aid, help them in the bathroom and foster independence in all areas.

There are plenty of childminders like me.

The care that you choose for your child isn't so much about childminder v nursery but more about which suits your lifestyle and your child. A good childminder will be doing exactly what a good nursery does only in a smaller setting.

Em yes I am.

Sorry but babies,toddlers and small children should be out living in the real world enjoying real life and their local community and not some constructed structured room with high staff turnovers,low educated workers and several staff.

In an ideal world young children should be exposed to a cosy home environment during the maj of their day and high levels of vocabulary which they will get from higher educated workers. I'd like to see a study on childcare qualifications as I suspect the higher educated prefer the autonomy of working in their own home or a nanny set up,over being stuck in the four walls of a nursery.

I think kids benefit from being with one carer and the nursery setting can be very stressful for young babies and toddlers.Studies have linked aggression to boys in nursery.

I also think kids learn more from being out in the real environment of community-doing chores,shopping,library,PO,school run,social things like toddler groups and messy play with their future school,peers,kicking back and exploring the world for themselves.This is best complimented by some top notch pre school hours they can be fresh to get the most out of.

I'm sure this will offend those who have nursery as their chosen setting but it is my view,my experience which were asked for in the op.I think it only fair to give a true honest answer.

That said all settings vary in quality so I'd do your research to ensure a good cm/nanny that suits you. I would still prefer an average to good cm over an Outstanding nursery though any day of the week.

^^ exactly!
I'm a CM and my children get plenty of social interaction with other children. They are excited to know who is coming that particular day. They enjoy the school runs because we get to chat about the walk and what we see and they again get to meet other children.
I have 2 other childminders as back up for emergencies/sickness if the parent wants.
I love my job and I love the children I have. Its a very privileged position to have.

Sorry was ^^ at nokidshere but now also LePetitMarseillais

CMs can be much more flexible than nurseries IMO.

Regarding questions to ask the nursery, I'd try to ascertain how flexible (or not) they are. So for example do they have a minimum number of days he children can come in?

Some nurseries might have a 2 day a week minimum for a place, on the basis that less than that is difficult for the children to cope with (fair enough I reckon).

Others might say you have to take a full time place 5 days a week. I don't know how common this is but my friends' DD's nursery said this. Personally, I would be suspicious of a nursery demanding your child attends (or at least, you pay for) 5 full days. IMO they are putting their profit, and/or poor admin capabilities above the needs of children and their families. A bad sign!