To ask why you chose a nursery over a childminder or vv?

[mummyrunnerbean]

Just that really. Starting the great childcare hunt and feel all at sea- I'm going back to uni in September when he'll be 13 months.

Also, have already posted asking in childcare, but what in particular should I be looking for, in either case, beyond the obvious?

I went with nursery and have no regrets - all the home stuff such as shopping, cooking and going out is stuff that DH and I did with our DCs on weekends so no, they did not miss out.

And the nursery that they went to had a virtually 0 staff turnover and a completely homely environment - it can be done. Both my DDs had the same keyworker from the moment they started at 6 months (no long mat leave when I had them) to when hey left to start school. They still hug their old keyworkers when we meet them shopping in town, and they are still friends with many of the children they were at nursery with.

Sweeping generalisations help no-one. FWIW my one experience with a CM was pretty awful - TV as babysitter and lots of term time holidays just when I needed her for after school care. Never again, I transferred the DDs to a well run before- and after school club instead.

Op we started dd at 9 months just two afternoons a week to start with she then used to do a day and a half per week.

You can get the gist of flexibility with nurseries....some are really rigid with hours. Ours was fantastic....

Good luck with your search.

Other questions to ask a nursery:

Do they have access to the outdoors? How often do they get access to the outdoors, is it at set times or can they go out when they choose? (The latter being best practice for early years IIRC, but not always logistically possible).

What do the children do all day? (Personally I would be listening out for lots of chance for play and creative activities, and the ability to choose what they play with, and not an overly structured environment).

What's the best thing about this nursery? (I like to ask open ended questions, they can be very telling sometimes!)

Where do they nap?

How many different adults are the children looked after by? Do they have an adult, like a key worker, who looks out for them specifically?

Do staff tend to stay at the nursery for a long time? How long has their longest member of staff been there?

Are the children in separate rooms (e.g. a baby room) or all together? How many children are at the nursery, and how many in their group?

Do they prepare lunch (if so, what are the options / what's a typical meal like)?

Probably loads of other questions!

Your gut instinct is very very important IMO and should not be ignored.

Op in your position I would be swaying more towards a cm, as with nurseries you need to go and meet a few but I think they will offer you more flexibility than a nursery tbh.

Nursery, not childminder, even though DC started at 5 months. Because

• we live miles from family so no backup if childminder was sick
• we had access to a work subsidised nursery and good tax incentives (DH higher rate tax payer)
• it is a very small nursery with an exceptionally low staff turnover. The baby room has a 3 to 1 ratio and a maximum of 9 children under 2. The staff are very hands on and quite happy to administer cuddles and reassurance and there was often a fourth floating member in the under two room
• two friends used CMs and both removed them and got their children into our nursery because the CMs were appalling in different ways (one dangerously neglectful)
• they give children a ready made peer group which has been lovely for DC leading to lots of parties and playdates which is important, especially for an only child with no cousins nearby
• I have an acquaintance who is a childminder - a really nice woman but her house smells of cigarette smoke and she never really took them out bar school runs, which may have coloured my view.
• The local toddler groups were full of childminders who basically arrived with 4 kids and ignored them for 2 hours while the kids ran about causing havoc. They were not professional and many of them blatantly took the piss.

I would say choose a small nursery with a low staff turnover or a nanny, rather than a childminder but that is just based on my own experience and perception which is obviously linked to where I live

We went for a childminder initially because I went back to work when DS was only 3 months and I felt he might get more one-on-one time there. She had him for three months then sent me an email on day at 1am in the bloody morning saying she'd had a dream he had died (!!!) and she didn't want that kind of responsibility so would I please make alternative arrangements, although she would be happy to have him until I did that. I never took him back.

We then moved to a local nursery which has been absolutely brilliant and he loves it there.

I chose nursery for my DC because I'm a sahm and I wanted a different experience for them (they only did 2 mornings a week). I wanted lots of socialisation and an environment closer to a school-like setting and less like home, which is where they spent most of their time.

I also chose nursery because the workers there are accountable to a manager, there are several adults around and it's a work environment where staff will be less likely to ignore the children and chat or read a magazine. I'm not saying that all childminders are rubbish, just that you can't be certain because they are the only adults there and could really do as they please, esp with babies, and you just wouldn't know.

To get mon-fri covered 7:30-6pm required me to use 3-4 different childminders. No brainier to go with a nursery

I chose nursery because I didn't want to have to work around childminder's holidays or if they were ill. It also fe,t a bit safer having more adults around rather than just one person.

CM as he was only 6mo when I went back full time. Yes he has a very close relationship with her but I see that as a positive as it's better for him. They go to lots of groups etc and overall it's as close as possible to him being at home.

Goooo that is mental!!

I chose a nursery for many reasons - we have no family nearby so sickness / hols would have been hard. I also know I'd feel more confident dealing with a nursery if there was an issue rather than an individual. Plus DS is a very social chap so I knew he'd thrive with loads of other kids his age.

I've also seen what I would consider disinterested child minders out and about with upset kids who they roll their eyes at and carry on chatting with the other cms.

But of course there are bad cms and bad nurseries so you've got to trust your gut feelings.

Gooooo

It upset me a lot. I wondered if there might be other reasons she didn't want to have him but she'd thought up something outrageous - but what kind of mentalist tells a mother that she dreamt her son died as an EXCUSE? Flipping weirdo. Worked out best in the end as he does truly love his nursery and he's now 2.5 :)

I'm sure there's a lot of bored & disinterested staff working in nurseries Jackie.
I suppose a really good childminder is the best option, but the really good ones never have any vacancies ( from my experience )

I'm very sure there are Like, but there are also more people, plus supervisors etc so the odds for me seemed a bit better. It's the relying on one person that personally wasn't for me.

There's also plenty of cuddles at DS' nursery, so making bonds with his individual carers is all part of it.

The only thing is nurseries have very strict policies on 'under the weather' kids. So if mine give calpol then you need to go and collect, whereas a cm might be more flexible I guess.

These days, there are so many different carers for children - nannies, au pairs, grandparents, unregistered minders, parents - and, yes, childminders - that, unless you actually see their registration certificate, you can't be sure that the bored, disinterested gossip group at the soft play etc. are actually registered childminders.

I suppose that's true.

Anyway it's such a personal decision, I genuinely believe there is no 'right' or 'wrong' setting. just what works for you and what you feel comfortable with.

Also, from personal experience, our after school club had quite a few children registered c/m's found too difficult to manage, so the after school club was last chance saloon for some - nurseries also take anyone with a cheque book. That's what I didn't like.

Yes I agree. There are as many types of childcare as there are parenting styles and one will fit better than the others. It won't necessarily mean the others are bad.
I'd always encourage any parent to visit as many as they can to get a picture of what works best for them. They should then go back for a second visit to the ones they shortlist.

It may seem like a lot of messing about, but any decent job these days will demand two interviews at least. Surely finding the right childcare is even more important.

I chose a childminder for DD as she started at 9 months which is quite little IMO. I wanted a home from home environment at this age, and I wanted her to fit it with somebody's daily life a bit. She is also extremely flexible if I need early/late starts and my DD loves her, but is also very happy to see me at the end of the day! A very healthy attachment but nothing to be jealous of. I also felt happier that she had had her own children.

When I visited her she told me that she takes the children out almost every morning - and sure enough they go to soft play at the garden centre, to the local 'family farm' where she has a yearly ticket, to a playgroup, to feed the ducks, or to see the animals at the local wetlands centre. I love that she goes out and explores the local area rather than being in the same 4 walls (and ocassionally the garden) for 4 days a week.

On a financially practical level she offered me a term time only contract which suited us as I don't work school holidays.

Confident it was right for her and I don't regret it.

I am shocked at how many people say child minders will have their sick child! I would be fuming if my child was there with an obviously sick child. I am sure ofsted would have something to say about that!

I thought that chilly!

We chose a childminder. I wanted one person in order to develop secure attachment which would sustain the mindee/mindee relationship over years. I wanted a home environment so DD1 would be doing what she would've been doing with me - popping to post office, going to a cafe, etc.

My concerns about nursery were the institutional structure and the number of staff relationships my child would have to develop.

We have GPs for emergency childcare so can cope if CM is ill/on holiday.

I checked out both and ended up liking the nursery more than any of the childminders who had spaces. At first my dd was only going one day a week though and I thought it would be nice for her to do something different that day. If she had been going full time I probably would have chosen a childminder until dd was 3 for better naps and a calmer environment generally, plus more opportunities for a change of scene as nursery is effectively one room plus garden. She did love nursery though and I will be sending dd2 there for at least 2 days per week. It is a baby nursery and they are all under 2. I say keep an open mind and visit both. what is vv btw?

One thing I would say is cm being ill is probably a red herring. Dcs catch all sorts at nursery and have to be kept home for 48 hours after d and v, for example.

I work in the early years sector, currently as a childminder but have worked also in nurseries and schools. My DS has been with both a childminder, and in a nusery I worked in and actually immediately pulled him out of in our first week there, he has also experienced living in a childminding home.

There are good and bad settings for either choice, best thing to do is look around all options locally and ask LOTS of questions.

Childminders work to the EYFS and do the same work as a nursery nurse or preschool practitioner. Some settings are structured, some aren't. Some settings do outings, some don't. All settings will have a staff sickness policy and key person policy.

I've found this really interesting reading why people have made certain choices. I too feel the need to point out how hugely important to child development that key person bonding is, children need to feel safe and secure to thrive.