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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

people that look at other peoples homes / pension etc with jealousy are abhorrent

101 replies

boomingrosemary2 · 30/01/2015 13:16

Does anyone else get this allot? It seems many (younger) people have little interest in earning something and building a career, they just want everything handed to them on a plate

OP posts:
Ohfourfoxache · 30/01/2015 13:20
Biscuit
NotOnMyWatchOhNo · 30/01/2015 13:22

Yep Im just sat here, waiting for that plate.
I'm not even young.

formerbabe · 30/01/2015 13:23

No I don't get that A LOT.

tobysmum77 · 30/01/2015 13:24

yeah ok Hmm

Thankfully I have enough of my own but totally understand why some people would see it as partly luck (as it is)

SaucyJack · 30/01/2015 13:24

YABU. It's not like the good old days where a middle management job would buy you a detached four-bed and two cars any more.

The baby boomers are the ones who've had the most for the least work out of just about any other generation in history.

ghostyslovesheep · 30/01/2015 13:24

welcome to MN OP Grin

yabu

misskatamari · 30/01/2015 13:26

I think that's a massive generalisation. I don't know what you class as "younger" but many people in their 20s are hardworking/struggling to find work post uni etc and will be lucky to get on the property ladder. DH and I are early 30s both with professional jobs and are very fortunate to have our 2 bed house. We'd love a bigger family home but can't afford it. We're fortunate to have pensions although by the time we come to claiming them they won't be huge.

To be honest I've never come across jealousy over "older" people having houses and pensions, maybe more frustration that people of younger generations struggle much more to be financially comfortable.

Skeppers · 30/01/2015 13:29

SaucyJack you are my HERO. You speaketh the truth.

Grumpyoldblonde · 30/01/2015 13:29

No, I don't get that much at all. You have a nice big house then? and a good pension, that's great for you. I have a nice big house too, I'm lucky. I don't really know that many young people these days, grown up children of friends (who all work), they sometimes say like my house, I think that is because it is comfortable and cosy though. I sometimes get a bit envious of people who made great choices/taken risks that have paid off, envious mind, not jealous. I hope that doesn't make me abhorrent.

TheGirlWhoPlayedWithFire · 30/01/2015 13:32

It's odd as I don't think it's jealousy more the fact that my generation have been utterly screwed over.

Post university careers are now harder and harder to get into plus the price of houses has sky rocketed meaning most people in the 20-30 age bracket are going to struggle for some time before they can afford to buy even a small property.

I'm not jealous of your house - I am jealous of the price of houses 10+ years ago.

I meet so many people who own nice houses in non professional careers, and were able to buy them for a reasonable salary to lending rate. Both DH and I have carved our way in our professions and earn ok money now and are still looking at two bed properties because of the way the housing market has become.

Plus this is the second anti-20's generation thread I've seen in a few days.

PastPerfect · 30/01/2015 13:32

I wouldn't say I'm jealous - I have a lot to be thankful for but I earn 10x what my professional father earned and there is not a chance of me being able to afford the deposit on the house I grew up in. It's a different works now

littlepeas · 30/01/2015 13:33

Hmmm. It is extremely expensive to buy a home now - we have saved £50k but still need a 90% mortgage to buy something that suits our needs in the area we want to live in (not London, not even South East). My parents bought their current house in 1996 for £100k and it is now worth £400k, they have barely spent a penny on it during that time, it is all capital growth. I'm not sure how hard people work has an awful lot to do with it.

PastPerfect · 30/01/2015 13:33

Different world

idiuntno57 · 30/01/2015 13:35

Is this a philosophical question i.e. is jealousy abhorrent? I would say YABU it is a natural human emotion and can and does spur people on to do greater stuff

Or

Is this just a dig at a different generation who have different opportunities and life experiences? I would say YABU. I fear for my kids when they are adults. What kind of a world have we left them.

So following a thorough analysis of your fascinating and well argued question. YABU.

PastPerfect · 30/01/2015 13:37

Like littlepeas my parents bought their house in 1988 for 63k and it sold last year for almost 2million.

My dad liked pruning the roses but I'm not sure the task was worth that much

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 30/01/2015 13:37

I don't begrudge people their 'luck' one bit Smile

What DOES annoy me however, is being told that if only we didn't buy iPhones etc. etc. then we could buy a house too.... if only it were that easy...

PtolemysNeedle · 30/01/2015 13:38

Abhorrent is a bit harsh, but people who are jealous of what others have when they could make the same sacrifices and choices and choose to have the same for themselves are are little irritating.

Being jealous of anything is pretty pointless though.

MagratsHair · 30/01/2015 13:43

Aha OP, you are a secret Daily Mail reporter are you not? I have rumbled your game!

We are all supposed to bemoan with you how young people get handed free houses to look after their paid-for-by-benefits babies whilst also going on tax funded holidays to the Maldives every week & probably going there by government funded taxis. Then they eye up your house & decide theirs is not big enough presumably so force the council to give them a bigger one.

But then I also assume you have worked your fingers to the bone all of your life in order to qualify for your free bus pass which you don't need your winter fuel allowance that you don't need and your state pension that the young uns are eyeing up

Are you absolutely sure you are not the jealous one.........? Hmm

morethanpotatoprints · 30/01/2015 13:49

YABU

I have 2 dc who'd be classed as young people and they are working hard, provide for themselves and are saving whatever they can to give them choices.
Neither are married yet and neither have their own home but they are ambitious as far as they can be with the jobs they have.

YABU

Clarinet9 · 30/01/2015 13:55

Surely no one is jealous of your bridge?

StatisticallyChallenged · 30/01/2015 13:56

Yeah, of course, young people want it all on a plate Hmm

Look at some facts. Starting teacher salaries in 1979 were £3231 according to the government. This year they are about £22k. For graduates overall, it's gone from £3970 to about £26k

Average house price in q1 1979 was £17,983 (5.6 times a teacher's salary, 4.5 times the grad rate) . It's currently about £189000 (8.5 times a teacher's salary, 7.3 times the grad rate).

The total number of active members of defined benefit pension schemes went from 5.6m in 1979, to 1.9m in 2012 and is likely to have fallen further since.

Young people don't want everything handed to them on a plate. I think many of them would love to have the same playing field that the previous generation did though.

Chuffingelves01 · 30/01/2015 13:58

To be honest I actually feel sorry for the generation. We own our own home and we bought our first home when I was 19 - £68,000 for a large 3 bedrooms house which we then sold for £230,000 10 years later! It was pure luck. The house we are in now is never going to increase by that much. We would never have been able to afford a mortgage of £230,000 and would have struggled to have even saved a deposit for one.

I am 32 now and have been lucky that I was a Sahm until recently. Most of my friends don't have that option. They are all uni graduates struggling to save with paying rent. The ones who have children can't even think about becoming sahp because they need the wage coming in. I feel that they have been screwed over - all told uni is the way to go as you need a degree and they are still working their arses off for very little.

TheAwfulDaughter · 30/01/2015 14:01

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ShebaRabbit · 30/01/2015 14:06

I think the middle-class 20 something generation have been sold a lie by govt policies encouraging them to go to Uni if they ever want to have career success and then charging them ridiculous fees and get into debt to pursue a degree course in something ridiculous at the Uni of Arseville. Parents buy into this too and push formal education and the expense it entails like its the holy grail of success. Lots of that generation feeling lost after graduation as the amazing job doesn't materialise, usually because Portia and Tristam have grabbed it because of their family connections.
It stands to reason that if everyone has a degree then it no longer has the same currency and now more than ever the old school tie influences your life chances.
For working class kids its even worse with social mobility rates in the UK declining since the 70s, child poverty on the increase etc. Its a lie that if you work hard you will succeed and if you dont succeed its your own fault. the game is stacked against most, the elites have circled the wagons and even traditional escape routes for working class kids like joining a band, modelling or becoming an actor have been largely hijacked by the pampered offspring of the already loaded, who, obscenely, then pretend they is street. I'm thinking Lily Allen, Lana del Ray and plenty more like them here. The working class kids now have to rely on x factor Sad

What a rant!, OP your generation had it easier than gen y, unless gen y already come from wealthy backgrounds

Honeydragon · 30/01/2015 14:06

A house and pension wouldn't fit on a plate.

Nor would a pile of sweeping generalisations.

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