To say "I am never giving present lists to again"?

[chimneybee]

Members of our family have asked what DS wants for birthday. I have told them what he wants, gifts are uncontroversial and inexpensive and he hasn't asked for a lot for his birthday just identified a few things he really wants. His birthday is in a couple of days and I've found out that some people have either bought something else or haven't got round to buying them yet. DS will be really disappointed if he doesn't get these things, as I said he's not asked for much but these were important to him. If I'd have known this I would have bought them myself, DH said BIL will buy him what I said he wanted but it's likely he won't give it to him for another month when we next see him. I feel annoyed with myself as the same thing happened at Christmas and I should have learnt from that, I'm not trying to dictate what they buy DS but they had asked what to get him, why do that if you then ignore it or it means that he won't get something he's been desperate for a month or so?

I was at SIL's house and asked for ideas for Xmas present for DNiece. SIL went to a cupboard and brought out a bag containing a handbag and gave it to me, not what I had in mind at all. I was expecting a list of suitable gifts. I don't want to be given a gift that someone else has bought, but didn't want to offend her so took it.

So later asked DN on fb what she wanted for Xmas and she gave me a list of ideas, including wine glasses. I bought her some wine glasses highly desirable, expensive, TKMaxx ones. She was very pleased with them.

No doubt SIL is wondering why I didn't give her the bag. When I visit next, I'll take it and return it with an explanation.

The main thing is, WWIII hasn't broken out.

Still bloody hijacking

PJ - I have no idea what colour her living room is - which is precisely the point, isn't it?

Roland, no, frankly, if she wants to have dinner parties, then wine glasses would be preferable (not essential before the masses start asking me whether it matters).

So you didn't want to offend her by not taking it; but you've no qualms about offending her by giving it back? Strange.

whats there are lots of things to buy for the home that don't need to be in keeping with the decor. How do you know the wine glasses are her style if that's your point?

Ps - nothing is that highly desirable or expensive from tkmaxx That's the point of that shop isn't it? And yes I do love it too.

Well yes, you're right. Guilty as charged.

I agree about lots needed for a new home, but if you have no idea what they've already got, or if there's something essential they can't afford, isn't Xmas the perfect time?

I was being sarcastic re TKM - sorry, it's great, there's all sorts of random stuff that appeals to my random taste. I like the idea of never knowing if you're going to find something, nothing, or bagfuls of stuff you never knew you needed.

My point isn't that someone shouldn't ask for a frozen doll, it's the upset it causes if the child thinks it's getting everything on its list and then doesn't. DN didn't expect me to get everything on her list and is probably still planning when she can afford the things she didn't get. I'm hoping she won't be ranting about not getting every item.

This is where 'learning you don't get everything you want' is relevant. It's not a hard lesson to be learning at Xmas time when hopefully children are grateful and very pleased with whatever they receive, not sulking because item 24 on the list didn't appear.

Sorry whats I get the sarcasm about tkmaxx now! Sorry I was skim reading it. Now I really could hijack this thread and go on a tangent about all the weird and wonderful things I've found in there...

Ah, there's a difference between a parent thinking of an idea for someone else to give and a child asking for a specific item(s).

I'm thinking of friends' children who, in the past, have been given an Argos catalogue to browse through for ideas. Then a list is drawn up and so on. Not impressed.

I can see that getting clothes that are too small must be frustrating - my DSs used to get clothes of a particular style that wasn't their thing at all. This happened year after year, because the person in question never asked and thought they'd share his taste. It ended up being a standing joke, but actually they were usually disappointed at the time.

So your SIL gave you a bag to give your niece, as in gave it for free, which you accepted, and then you kept it.

Glad I understand that now. I thought I misunderstood before.

whats what was the style they didn't like? Just being nosey

IIRC it was a skateboarding/bmx style aimed at maybe 6-9 year olds, which to a 12-13 year old is not cool at all.

Yes, Line, that's right, the bag is still in the bag it came in, it'll be returned when I see her next. Incidentally I was supposed to see her before Xmas, when I would have returned it, but she cancelled the visit at the last minute. I'm an evil, nasty, grasping person, you don't have to tell me.