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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Girl's night out

127 replies

flatroofextensionite · 29/01/2015 20:35

I am a mum of two under four. GPs have had them over night once at sister's wedding so not 'overused' in terms of babysitting but are totally adept.

I am going on a girl's night out in two months time and I have figured best option is to ask GPs to have them over night as DH at work next day and - shock horror - I'd like to stay out past 10.30pm and have a few glasses of wine.

I don't think I'll be hungover or anything like that - but would like to have more than one and getting up at 6.30am wouldn't be good for me or the kids.

I've tried to broach with DH tonight and he's made me feel like an awful human being for even considering asking GPs. Any 'pass' should be used for a joint night away he says - that I should obv be the arranger of.

I feel awful now and have resigned myself to a 10.30pm home and one drink.

AIBU?

OP posts:
ThinkIveBeenHacked · 29/01/2015 21:17

He can see to the one that wakes once in the night, and if I were you id kip in the three year olds bed whilst they are in yours, to get the best possible sleep

ICantFindAFreeNickName · 29/01/2015 21:20

Surely you can manage to stay out a bit later and have a few drinks and still be capable of looking after the children the next morning? Let them watch a dvd while you sit on the sofa snuggling up etc.

Fairenuff · 29/01/2015 21:21

Is it that the gps won't babysit very often, or is it that you don't ask them very often?

Janethegirl · 29/01/2015 21:25

Let DH deal with all the issues and you crawl in legless and sleep downstairsGrin. If you've had enough to drink you shouldn't be capable of climbing the stairs Grin.

He may be happier considering grandparents have the dc next time!!

Coumarin · 29/01/2015 21:27

Yanbu

The OP wants one night where she can be like her friends and stay out until whoever she likes or drink whatever she wants, within reason obviously, without having the constant nagging feeling at the back of her mind that she has to get up early in the morning and possibly in the night, to deal with two very young children. I don't see a problem with that at all. Not like she's doing it every week, it's a one off.

I say ask them and explain about the morning part, you want a lie in for once, nothing wrong with that.

MidniteScribbler · 29/01/2015 21:27

Oh just tell him it's happening. Why make life difficult with fussing around with GPs coming over in the morning yada yada. Kids get sleepover at grandma's, DS gets a night to himself at home, you get to go out. Too much overthinking happening.

Coumarin · 29/01/2015 21:27

Until WHENever not whoever Blush

Thurlow · 29/01/2015 21:28

Sure, you could go out and not have a drink.

Sure, you could get up and deal with the kids with a hangover.

But why? Confused

It's once in a blue moon. You want to go out and relax and not be vaguely worried about what time you get to bed so you have enough sleep to cope with the kids. You want to have a rare wallow in the morning with a mild hangover without worrying that the kids are watching a lot of TV.

So just because the OP has two young kids, she shouldn't want a little bit of completely child and hassle free time to herself?

Confused again

OP, it's a rarity. Ask them. I bet they'd love a sleepover. And surely the kids will have an all round nicer time having a sleepover and play time with their grandparents than with a tired and stressed mum and too much telly the next morning.

I have never understood how having young children means you're supposed to completely martyr yourself and not do almost anything you ever did before and just not have any 'me' time at all.

Thurlow · 29/01/2015 21:29

Thank christ, cross posted with a few other people who think the same thing Grin

(MN has gone weird the past few days, I tell you, plain weird...)

Quitelikely · 29/01/2015 21:32

I'm confused.

Do GPs not like doing overnights?

If they don't mind then I don't see what the problem is!

Quitelikely · 29/01/2015 21:32

Ask your dh to take a half day?

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 29/01/2015 21:34

I don't understand the situation. Can you go out, leave the children with your husband. Tell him you're going to be back late after having a few and that you'l need to have a lie in, so he'll need to get them up and downstairs early quietly to not disturb your hangover lie-in. If this is not possible, why not? And if not, then ask your parents.

ApocalypseThen · 29/01/2015 21:36

If your parents will take them let him accept it or explain what he's going to do to facilitate a proper night out for you.

Fairenuff · 29/01/2015 21:38

Is the block your parents or your dh?

Original poster
flatroofextensionite · 29/01/2015 21:40

DH sets off at 7.15am for work so no possible lie in.

The thing I don't like is that I want to feel it's with DH's blessing and it's obv not so will feel anxious on lead up.

Just wish I could not have had to start reassurance thread and he had have just said 'of course' and 'enjoy'.

OP posts:
FightOrFlight · 29/01/2015 21:41

YANBU to want to go out and enjoy yourself without worrying about being home early/getting up in the night/being up early in the morning.

Jeez, some of these replies make it sound as if you are going to dump the kids with relatives and leave the country.

Most grandparents would crawl over broken glass to have their grandchildren for a sleepover every now and then.

mummypig14 · 29/01/2015 21:41

YABU. If the grandparents have DS, me and DP both go out.

If we're hungover and have him, we put a film on and have a duvet day. Not the end of the world.

Fairenuff · 29/01/2015 21:42

Your problem is really your dh isn't OP?

Original poster
flatroofextensionite · 29/01/2015 21:43

GPs have never asked. I suppose if we'd managed to make them sleep through the night then maybe they would!

OP posts:
CrapBag · 29/01/2015 21:43

I don't understand the replies tbh.

I don't think you should save GPs for joint nights away. It sounds like you rarely get the chance to go out and have a few drinks and a late night so I don't see the problem myself.

If your DH was being an arse about it I would say "this is what I am doing, how are you arranging childcare for the next day as i'm having time off? " (I am assuming you do the majority of the childcare here). Him dropping kids over to GPs on his way to work is a good one if you won't ask GPs as your DH doesn't want you to. I don't see why he gets a say tbh, it's your night out and he is off to work the next day anyway.

Original poster
flatroofextensionite · 29/01/2015 21:44

What do you mean Fairenuff?

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 29/01/2015 21:50

What do I mean? Isn't it obvious?

You want to go out for night out with friends. The only thing stopping you is your dh.

You could a) rely on him to look after his own children through the night or b) ask your parents to have the children overnight.

But he won't agree to either. So he is your problem, not the gps.

Quitelikely · 29/01/2015 21:56

I feel quite sorry for you OP. All you're asking is for a few hours off. I bet you even put the dc to bed before you leave the house too?

You are married, not in jail. Your dh is being harsh. You deserve this night out at the least!

Janethegirl · 29/01/2015 21:56

Valid point Fairenuff, if DH won't agree to either option you need to discuss it with him and if you can't agree, get your parents to have your children overnight.

CrapBag · 29/01/2015 21:59

OP you don't need your DH's permission. Just do it. What you said you wished he said speaks volumes. Fairenuff has it spot on.

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