I have just punched my Jam Roly Poly

[MsRyanGosling]

Just tried to make Jam Roly Poly and couldn't transfer it onto the paper so I punched it in its big suety face and slammed it in bin.

AIBU?

I am so annoyed and everyone was looking forward to it.

OP, please apply for Bake Off. Legions of MNers will tune in weekly to watch you twat a show stopper. Tremendous stuff.

MsRG I will murder bake the cake of your choosing, for your own violent purposes, if you twat Paul Hollywood with the showstopper. How can you refuse.

Bin and cake.

I don't understand those words together

I knew someone who threw a Black Forest gateaux at someone's head in a fit of RAGE.

He ducked, she missed and it hit the wall with a blackcurranty splat! And slid slowly down to the floor.

DD, who is supposed to be asleep, has just complained about the noise keeping her awake and asked what I'm laughing at thank you OP!

I have just punched my jam roly poly..

This is obviously the first line of a very rude limerick.
I wonder what the other lines are?

I punched my jam roly poly.....

right in its suety gob
That'l teach the sanctamonious fucker
not to give up on the job.

Waiting for someone to point out that you are pregnant so could not possibly be unreasonable and that the cake should have gone out and got you an alternative pudding, the bastard

OP. Are you Mary Berry?

Oh, don't do that, Mermaid!

Iain from bakeoff, is this you?

covering my massive cock up with silk flowers and ribbon.

a lovely wedding night surprise for your husband pensionerpeep I am sure!

Brilliant OP. Shouting fuck off to inanimate objects I love it

Ha ha

Ah OP I am in awe.

I have slapped many a (raw) gammon but never punched a cake. And I like gammon. But I don't like cake. No logic.

I should have punched my useless Princessa Torte when it spectacularly failed on me, but we ate it instead. It tasted like heaven but looked like it had already spent several days in the bin.

Could you not dig out the Roly Poly and eat it anyway? Just wipe off the tea bags and bits of pasta.

Bloody Mary Berry has a lot to answer for.

That's what we call a chewing the fat moment, if you search youtube for ballistic bob and watch the chef one you will see yourself! The garage forecourt one is also hilarious

I'm dying laughing here !!!!

Haha! I love this thread.

I'm patiently waiting for the cats bum face type mner to come along to tell you have have ishoos and that there are people starving in the world. Whilst the rest of us pee our pants at your cake rage.

I love breaking stuff when I'm in a pure rage, I snapped an old keyboard over my knee as a teenager because my sister pointed out a spelling mistake on an essay I was writing.

OP sounds like a kindred spirit, I would so punch a cake too if it wronged me. The most hilariously out of control arguments in our house have been DH's overreaction to my own overreaction. (Not that I'm at all suggestion that your cake punch was an overreaction.)

I once fell out with my sky remote when I tried to fast forward the adverts on revenge and it kept going.
It was put on the ground and river danced on

Brilliant MsRG love this thread!

I've never punched a cake (usually too busy shovelling it into my fat gob), but I have twatted a baked potato with a rolling pin once....

omg I am crying weakly while my DH grumps at me from behind his laptop. Best. Thread. Ever