I have just punched my Jam Roly Poly

[MsRyanGosling]

Just tried to make Jam Roly Poly and couldn't transfer it onto the paper so I punched it in its big suety face and slammed it in bin.

AIBU?

I am so annoyed and everyone was looking forward to it.

I have this image of the rest of your family sitting expectantly at the table, spoons aloft and watching you with !

Good thing it was just a roly poly.

I laid into a well nutted Dundee cake in the 90's and my knuckles haven't been the same since.

You should have you own'Cake bashing' blog. Love it!

OP, thank you; you've made me laugh so much.

Punching a jam roly poly is second only to giving a lemon drizzle a good old punch straight in its big fat face

Cake punching rules ok

I thought it was M&S roly-poly(ie?)s you were supposed to punch in lieu of lemon drizzle cake?

Ice-cream for pudding then...

put the spatula down, step away from the bowl, take a deep breath

I would follow a cake punching blog.

I'd like to see a Black Forest Gateau punched straight in the guts.

Full colour pics and everything...

Yes these cakes are so pompous.! Who do they think they are??

Funny :-) I want to punch a spotted dick !!

So do I pnutter but I haven't seen Exh around for a few days

They make it look so bloody easy. Even the recipe said 'simple to make' - even simpler to give up and punch it in!

I had M&S Ready made custard to go with it too

Maybe I'll set up a 'cooking impossible puddings' blog complete with inevitable punches. I'll be going on maternity leave soon so I may have the time!

Brilliant.
I made a victoria sponge many years ago when I was still living at home. I got the temperature wrong and it came out incinerated. I was a bit miffed and left the black minging discs on the side and went upstairs.
Dad and brother dear came home, both were howling with laughter at my baking fail.
I'm afraid to say I saw red, stormed downstairs and hurled the offending cakes (like a pro, I should say!) out of the door with a shout of "fuck off fuck off fuck off" (bit of a cake fail theme there I think) and they went sailing off one by one into the pond.
They are still regularly referred to as Gonnagle's discus cake.

Ah pouring boiling custard over its head and eating it would shown it.
Won't anyone think of the poor bin that always had to suffer the rejects.

This thread has cheered me right up

And made me want to eat jam roll poly...

Hahahaha

That's has made me laugh out loud.

Punching a jam roly poly whilst telling it fuck off.

Typical MN - if the Jam roly poly had punched OP I think the responses would have been very different

Hahahahahaha I luffs you a bit OP

This is DV. Call the Police. A vulnerable jam rolypoly is being abused.

I might have made it into a trifle by pouring jelly on it once cool. Or I may have gobbled it up just as it was. Which do you think?

There's a Jam Roly Poly arm reaching out of the bin to pick up the phone to phone the food abuse police right now...

Just eat the custard with a spoon.

Yanbu. That'll learn it

Love this! Can't beat a bit of seething rage at an inanimate object!

I read this to DH and it got us reminiscing about the time he ripped the printer out of the socket, carried it outside and threw it violently into the wheelie bin.

It was old and shit, but still a bit of an overreaction to a paper jam.

I think I love you, sorry that twat of a Roly Poly let you down

Firstly I am relieved to learn jam roly poly isn't rhyming slang. Though God knows what for.

Secondly, OP you are a comedy genius, if not a baking one. Fuck Mary Berry, you cook something else and then wallop it one in its self satisfied syruppy gob, DO IT FOR ALL OF US.

And then get anger management. But only after you flattened the bejesus out of many home made puds.

I'd like to join in but I bake nothing for fear of my oven growing feet and marching off out the door in protest. Oh sod it though.

Oh fuck it was in a tin