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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder how people manage to breastfeed subsequent children

64 replies

Mammanat222 · 28/01/2015 17:40

Am I missing a trick here?

Currently expressing due to horrifically cracked and bleeding nipples but plan to go back to boob.

How the hell am I going to manage to bf and a look after my toddler? That is aside from feeding us and god forbid getting any housework done.

OH is off for at least another week but what then?

Genuinely interested.

OP posts:

HowCanIMissYouIfYouWontGoAway · 28/01/2015 17:52

Not got a clue.

But somehow you do manage. You just do. Baby gets fed, toddler too (ok, probably a third of their diet comes from the floor and possibly an eighth from the cat bowl, but still...), nappies get changed, kids get played with, house gets tidied (that last one may be a lie)

There's 15 months between my two.

They're now 14 and 15 yrs old, so it's all a bit vague really.

I do remember the play pen in the kitchen though. Blessed Be the playpen in the kitchen...

bumbleymummy · 28/01/2015 17:52

Once you get the hang of it, it's much easier. You'll have plenty of time to feed, play with your toddler and clean(if you want to!). The first few weeks can be tough. Have you tried nipple shields? They're not ideal but they can help while you're recovering. Have you been on the feeding board here? Lots of very helpful advice

OpiesOldLady · 28/01/2015 17:53

This is where Cbeebies, new books and unfamiliar toys become your friends.

Baby one side, feeding, toddler the other with books to read together, snacks and the remote. Sticker books, easy jigsaws - a few new bits to pique their interest.

It's hard, but I found if I made the toddler the big chief helper to Mammy, and found them important jobs to do they responded well to it.

Also, consider using a sling with baby - I used to wrap the baby and then feed them in the slings, thus leaving me two hands to do what I needed to - playing with the others or housework.

Times like these, a slow cooker is your friend. Take 15 minutes of a morning to whack everything in the slow cooker, and just serve up at tea time.

I promise it does get easier once you get into a routine.

Have you got some lanisho for your nipples?

sweetkitty · 28/01/2015 17:57

Agree CBeebies is your friend, make sure toddler has been to the toilet fed etc sit down together to watch tv or read books.

I had one at school, one at nursery, one under 2 and a newborn at one point and I muddied through and you will too, people often say how do you cope? You cope because there's no alternative not to, they are your children you need yo be responsible for them, oh and housework can wait they'll only go and mess it up again anyway.

Ineedacleaningfairy · 28/01/2015 17:58

In all honesty for at least the first 6 weeks we watched hours and hours of tv, we ate very easy food and the house didn't get tidied very often.

My baby is now 3 months and we are now doing great, less tv watching happens, we eat healthy fresh food and we nearly always get dressed! Everyone survived the early days and hopefully neither of the dc will remember them.

perfectlybroken · 28/01/2015 17:58

A friend gave me a great tip which was to bf on the sofa so toddler could snuggle in as well. Keep a pile of books to hand and it can become a nice ritual. And when it goes pear shaped there is always tv! Hope your nipples get better soon.

Ihateparties · 28/01/2015 17:59

Don't know really, you just develop strategies over time that work for you I guess. But that's same whatever method you feed them. Dc1 was ff, subsequent 2 were bf, can't say it was a vastly different experience practically speaking. For dc3 in particular dh spent a good portion of his paternity leave peeling small children off me whilst bf. When he went back to work I must have either left them there or peeled them of myself depending on the circumstances...

Penguin0fMadagascar · 28/01/2015 18:00

Ha, I was just about to say TV too! There are 21 months between DSs 1 and 2, and it was not easy - but we did it. Would it be worth checking out some bf support if your nipples are really bad? It could be positioning and attachment has caused the problem and could be tweaked to avoid it happening again. Also, Jelonet (I think that's how you spell it) is supposed to be a good dressing if you need something more heavy duty than Lansinoh.

perfectlybroken · 28/01/2015 18:01

Ooh and I agree about baby in sling. I have had mine on my back since he could hold his head up, its great they"re happy being close to you and looking at everything and you can get on with things.

Annunziata · 28/01/2015 18:02

I fed 5 in 8 years.

It really really helps if you have help for the first few weeks and months. My mum and MIL really ran the house while I got feeding sorted.

A playpen in the kitchen is very very important!

Make sure the toddler gets a cuddle while you're feeding. You'll end up feeding all of their toys too probably!

Try not to let things build up. If you tidy up as you go, using the sling, it's less of a bother than coming back to everything.

LingDiLong · 28/01/2015 18:03

I used to wonder how people could fit in washing and sterilising bottles with a toddler plus a newborn! I'm probably very lucky but I found breastfeeding pretty easy - just pop them on when they needed it. They get used to interrupted feeds but the toddler also got used to bringing me stuff and doing things with me while I sat down. It was also great on school runs and at playgroups, if they needed feeding I could just do it without having to think ahead to pack a bottle. The only problem I had was with my 2nd and 3rd children as they got more alert they were distracted hugely by their siblings and I really struggled to get them to feed at all during the day - they were too busy turning their heads round to look at what their brother/sister were doing!

DragonsDoHiccup · 28/01/2015 18:04

Slings, toddler groups to wear them out, and cbeebies.

Plus copious amounts of cake and chocolate

BeachyKeen · 28/01/2015 18:05

I breast fed both dc, they are 25 months apart. I used a sling so ds could help himself while I got on with things with dd, or did work around the house.
It worked, in that I was able to get stuff done, but it did leave me with a bad back for a while.

meglet · 28/01/2015 18:06

cbeebies, rice cakes and no housework.

CurlyBlueberry · 28/01/2015 18:07

You just do! Mine was 19 months when no2 came along and he didn't watch TV (not by my choice - his!). There were a few 'moments'. I shamefully once hid from him in the bathroom just so I could finish breastfeeding. But soon he learned to be a bit more patient, he discovered Peppa Pig (thank the Lord) and we muddle along - baby is now 5 months and still EBF. I can't get my head round formula personally, all that sterilising etc... once you 'get into it' and assuming no issues, boob is much easier, especially at night. Expressing is difficult, if you are able to BF 'directly' it should get better/easier. Good luck, and you WILL get through it somehow!

CurlyBlueberry · 28/01/2015 18:09

Oh and it sounds obvious but I used to make sure toddler was sorted with a drink, snack, book and toy before I started. Baby only takes a few minutes to feed now so it's not an issue but planning a little bit ahead really helped in the early days.

wanderingcloud · 28/01/2015 18:10

Hope you're nipples recover soon OP, cracked nipples are a killer. You'll soon find a way to make it work. There's 15 months between my first two and OH was back at work ft when the little one was 5 days old. I quickly realised a sling was my best friend and the TV a very close second. I remember feeding DS2 in the sling at the top of a playground castle whilst trying to supervise the toddler once, only possible due to the sling! It was a bit totally bonkers for awhile but we all survived! Oh and my other top survival tip is learn how to feed laying down. I could feed DS2 whilst snuggling DS1 to sleep for his afternoon nap and often had a cheeky nap myself. Some of my happiest memories of that time are just laying in bed listening to them both sleeping.

Want2bSupermum · 28/01/2015 18:20

Not going to lie - I ff DS and at some early point he was holding his own bottle in the rocker we used for him. I think he was 3 months. DS was born at 10lb6oz so a big baby and huge weight loss in first week plus me going back to work 8 weeks after put me off bf. It is hard but it is a stage that will go by in a blur.

We still do the cleaning after the DC have gone to bed. Toys are dumped into toy box/cupboards with floors then hoovered and washed. DD aged 3 is chief skirting board and door knob cleaner on Saturdays. When DS was little (first 6 months) I had my shower at night and cooked all food for the next day so all meals were a blitz in the microwave before being served up.

If I am pregnant with my third I am going to start freezing down meals from when I get a positive test result back. I want 3 months of meals on ice before the baby arrives.

munchkinmaster · 28/01/2015 18:23

I love that we are all agreed on cbeebies!

EdYouKateShaun · 28/01/2015 18:24

It only takes one hand to breastfeed but 2 to bottle feed so I found it way easier.

singmelullabies · 28/01/2015 18:28

I had horribly cracked nipple which didn't heal until I used paraffin gauze on it. Had to try a few pharmacies before I found one that stocked it, and unlike lansinoh you have to clean it off before you can feed (but I just wiped with a baby wipe and my ds survived!) but it was amazing.

treeshine · 28/01/2015 18:32

Feed baby in a wrap, use both spare hands to play with, wrangle or help toddler. I have a 23 month age gap and baby wearing is a god send.

darlingfascistbullyboy · 28/01/2015 18:32

I don't know - you just kind of do it, it's all a bit of a blur!

Once feeding is established I can' imagine it is any worse than making up formula & bottle feeding? It is easier when the baby is bit bigger & feeding hands free is possible then you can juggle toddler stuff. I tandem fed mine (twice!) which may have made it easier ... & lots of snacks?

Fresh01 · 28/01/2015 18:34

I had 4 kids in 6 years and BF each for 11momths. I always had a baby gate on the main room we used which had toys and TV in it. I used to feed on the sofa so was always able to interact with the others and they were stuck in the same room as me. I also fed sitting at the dining table a lot so you could still do jigsaws and play doh with one hand.

I found baby always fed for longer at certain times of day so I could build those into our day.

I found BF handy as you could give a quick top up in the car before school/nursery pickup if needed whilst toddler was either strapped in car seat or sitting in passenger seat playing DJ with the CD's.

Second the playpen for a peaceful sanctury for the baby or to keep the toddler in one spot.

Hope the damage heals quickly. I had to use shields for a bit with DC1 as she caused a lot of damage initially.

SorchaN · 28/01/2015 18:35

I had cracked bleeding nipples when trying to feed my third child, and it turned out I had thrush. Lansinoh helped a bit, but it took prescription meds to clear the thrush. If you think there's a chance you could have thrush, you should see your GP. But you will get the hang of it all eventually!

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