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Original poster

Advice needed please...15 yo wants to go abroad with friends (same age)

129 replies

sourdrawers · 28/01/2015 11:57

My 15 yo DD plays in a Basketball team and her team mates are really great girls. There's 4 of them, a couple of whom are just turned 16, that are close, DD included. I've just learned that they've organised to go on a 4 day trip to Amsterdam. They've asked DD to go. I've learned this via a friend, via FB. DD hasn't said anything to me yet. Now normally I'm pretty decisive. But I just feel really unsure. I trust DD and these girls, but abroad? WWYD???

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 28/01/2015 14:08

She can't travel without an adult anyway under the age of 16.
I am of assuming they are going by low cost airline.
So it's out of your hands anyway (well that's what you tell her).
Unless they fly BA in which case you will have to have the difficult discussion!

TooHasty · 28/01/2015 14:18

will they be able to book accommodation at 15 anyway?

squoosh · 28/01/2015 14:37

It would a big fat 'NO' from me.

bigbluestars · 28/01/2015 14:51

Not sure many hotels would take the booking. Don't you need a credit card to book in?

Prole · 28/01/2015 15:02

I can't see a 15 year old getting accommodation in Amsterdam. As for drugs, they won't get anywhere near a coffeeshop at that age. They are all licensed by the council and can be shut down just for having an under 18 in there. They will be legally obliged to carry ID at all times so no chance of lying their way into anywhere either. There are beggars but a lot less than Central London. RLD is declining and street dealers are gone. It's changed a lot since the 90s/00s (for those who haven't been in a while).

They probably are too young but Amsterdam is as lovely as any other old European city and not the city of sodom that some think. The local teens cycle about and hang out at lovely old cafes you just don't find over here.

They could go to the south of France where no-one would have any problem with them getting vomitously pissed on cheap wine and Ricard.

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/01/2015 15:14

No.

BackforGood · 28/01/2015 15:38

No from me too (and I have a 16 yr old dd)

I'd be happy to let them go to a tournament, where an adult was responsible for them, but not just "off abroad with the gals".

dd is currently trying to make a plan with her friends about going away somewhere in this country after GCSEs - there's a lot of mixed opinion amongst parents for this.

PasstheDaimbars · 28/01/2015 15:48

Totally no and this is from someone who moved abroad alone at 16 and a half (the half was very important at the time)

Not because it's Amsterdam, lovely lovely place, but even though it is a tourist city, and they stick out more and will be very clear targets, for sob stories and worse.
And hand on heart I'd be even more reluctant if it was 4 boys the same age.

Is it first time away for all of them without parent/adults alone? I think at that age first holiday 'alone' should be within the country. Yes I know that for some areas of the country it would be fast to get to Amsterdam than say Glasgow to Cornwall, but at least they'll be familiar with emergency numbers, the currency etc etc.

captainfarrell · 28/01/2015 16:06

Without an adult? Errrr no way jose!!

WorraLiberty · 28/01/2015 16:12

To the people saying they won't be able to get drugs from coffee shops at that age...

No they won't

But they're openly sold in streets/bars too anyway. Or they can simply ask an 18yr old to pop into a coffee shop and buy them some.

UniS · 28/01/2015 16:21

How would you feel about Scotland? Or a pony trekking trip... Is it the destination that's the problem or the group?
Mind you, if shes not asked, maybe shes not so keen as all that.

Caronaim · 28/01/2015 16:22

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

SoupDragon · 28/01/2015 16:23

I was a "no way" before I read the destination. Strangely enough, I've not changed my mind!

Hatespiders · 28/01/2015 16:24

I'm a great fan of travelling for young people. My niece went alone all over Australia last year. But she was 22. I too travelled worldwide at 17, but in those days it was a safer place.
The answer has to be no doesn't it? But it's not for ever. When she's a bit older she can go off with her friends.

Mini05 · 28/01/2015 16:25

When there in a group alone ( no parents) it only takes one and a bit of pier pressure. There not at home now with you at home when they come in!

Sorry NO

Clobbered · 28/01/2015 16:25

What Caronaim said.

Bet you DD is scared stiff and doesn't really want to go. Stick with no and you can't go wrong.

Hulababy · 28/01/2015 16:42

No. Too much too young.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 28/01/2015 16:46

With no adults?

Noooooooooooooo fucking way. Not for a week camping in wales, let alone amsterdam.

Behooven · 28/01/2015 16:48

No from me too

mrsbrownteapot · 28/01/2015 17:01

Yes agreed Worra and 4 girls will attract people who'll be only too happy to get them what they want I'm sure, for a price.

I went to Amsterdam about 30 years ago, when I was 19, with a mate. As soon as we arrived at central station we were followed by some scruffy, druggy - types who kept offering us stuff, i.e place to stay, weed, Cocaine etc, all the way to where our hotel was, about 20 min's on the tram. We thought they'll piss off in a minute, they're just dealers, or they' re touting for commissions for some hostel or something. It was only later someone told us that they were just looking for an opportunity to rob us. Had we gone down a small side street with no one about, they surely would have done. This was all in broad daylight too.

This could happen anywhere else so don't get me wrong.. I've an Australian friend who was mugged at knife point on his first night here in London. But I'm afraid there's no way I'd agree to her going without an adult you knew and trusted.. Not at 15, not at 17.

EvilTendency1 · 28/01/2015 17:07

No chance.

XiCi · 28/01/2015 17:10

It would be a definite no. I had similar experiences to mrsbrownteapot. I was 18 when I first went, I got groped just walking down the streets a number of times, literally just grabbed at by random men. Drugs are rife and the place is full of assorted weirdos. We also were followed from central station and it was hard to get rid of them. The potential for something bad happening to a group of naive 15 year olds is quite big especially when you throw drugs and alcohol into the mix, which I'm sure is part of the pull to Amsterdam for them. Don't get me wrong there's a lot more to Amsterdam than the seedier side of things but to let my 15 year old go with her mates? Not a chance in hell!

Original poster
sourdrawers · 28/01/2015 17:15

I take your point mrsBrown You can get what you want there without showing anyone your ID.

Just asked my Sis' who has a DS of 19 and she said no way would she have let him go at 15.

I don't know why they want to go there anyway? Coffee shops, bars. clubs, are out so what's left? Spliffs in their hotel room and wandering around the canals I suppose? I'm trying to imagine them 4 in the front row of a live Sex show. They spent 20 minutes rolling around on the floor giggling at the sight of Bear Grills' bare arse on TV the other night.

Yes Unis Pony trekking something like that would be ok, but even then I don't think I'd be happy about it if there wasn't an adult around. Shit, she's home in 15 mins.

OP posts:
bettyboop1970 · 28/01/2015 17:16

A definite no.

Unexpected · 28/01/2015 17:17

I lived in Amsterdam. Do not let her go! I learned to be always vigilant in and around Central Station and the red light district of the city. It is not pleasant and is full of unsavoury types. Do not let her go. I am amazed the other parents are ok with this idea or that, practically, they have been able to arrange flights and accommodation. Which part of the city are they staying in? I strongly suspect it will be full of hen and stag parties and really drunken. This is a definite NO.