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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have refused this delivery after previously agreeing to take it in for a neighbour?

133 replies

LipsMovingStillTalking · 24/01/2015 15:43

I have namechanged as my neighbour may be on here.

On Saturday afternoon last week, my neighbour came round and said they were going on holiday on Monday and could I possibly take in a delivery for them which would be arriving Tuesday. I agreed happily, as I have done so before for them and they knew it wasn't one of my working days.

However, come Tuesday, the delivery arrives and its a bloody bed and mattress! At no point did my neighbour mention that this is what was arriving. Neither did I ask, but then other parcels I have taken in for them have been things like clothes and shoes etc, so I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary.

I simply do not have the room to store a bed and mattress for four days so I had to refuse the delivery. The two people delivering weren't happy as they had been told I would take the bed in but they obviously had no choice but to take it back. I just shut the door and went back inside stunned that my neighbour hadn't mentioned it was such a large item. The cynic in me wonders if that was exactly why they didn't say anything as surely not many people would be able to take in something like that!

This morning, my neighbour came back from holiday and popped round, clearly quite pissed off at what I had done. I made it clear that had they left me a key I would've been happy to let the delivery people in and lock up again afterwards but that I couldn't keep the bed in my house. She said she assumed I realised what the item was as she had been chatting to me outside when their existing bed had been taken away. When my neighbour left, it was quite obvious I was in the doghouse.

I know I wouldn't have been unreasonable to refuse a delivery that my neighbour hadn't asked me to take in, or even to have refused to accept it when she asked, but AIBU to have refused one that she had asked me to take in on the grounds that it was so large?

OP posts:
Koalafications · 24/01/2015 17:11

Blackbird I don't think anyone has said OP should have taken it in.

Original poster
LipsMovingStillTalking · 24/01/2015 17:16

Thank you for all responses! To answer a few things:

  1. Neighbour has always given me a heads up in the past that if she needs me to take in a delivery for her so her asking this time was not an unusual thing at all and wouldn't have prompted me to ask what it was.
  1. When we were talking as her bed was being removed, she mentioned nothing about a new one being delivered, it was just going on in the back ground.
  1. Good point about what they slept on between bed being removed and going on holiday....I have no idea!
OP posts:
BlackbirdOnTheWire · 24/01/2015 17:19

Though this does remind me of a recent incident. We were asked to take in a delivery for our new neighbours (not next door, but close enough). We hadn't met them but saw removal vans arrive the day before, the delivery driver told us they'd specifically booked this day. He phoned them and they told him they'd be back in the afternoon - when he said he couldn't come back, they told him to ask a neighbour.

My DH said yes, of course we could take a parcel - only it wasn't a flipping parcel, it was a fully-assembled dining table and eight chairs Grin. When this became obvious we had to refuse to take it and not even the optimistic driver could see anywhere we could store it, even for four hours. Funnily enough, none of the other neighbours in our terraced street had any room either. We've still not met the neighbours... Apparently they were quite annoyed as they'd been told it was a very friendly road!

Aeroflotgirl · 24/01/2015 17:20

Even though she should have given you a spare set of keys for her house or garage, if she expected you to take delivery of that bed. Cheeky mare.

Original poster
LipsMovingStillTalking · 24/01/2015 17:23

Oh, and just to be 100% clear, the layout of my house means that I wouldn't have been able to step around the bed and mattress, it would've been blocking my way. And the conversation about me taking in the delivery wasn't at the same time as the bed was being removed, so it was imo a massive leap for her to assume I knew what was coming.

OP posts:
BlackbirdOnTheWire · 24/01/2015 17:23

Koalafications, Soontobesix said she would have taken it in. MysteryFairy seems to think that it would have been obvious it was a bed, and that the OP was BU to refuse, having accepted.

christmaspies · 24/01/2015 17:30

Maybe it could have worked if the op lives in a mansion. She clearly doesn't

wowfudge · 24/01/2015 17:31

Not being funny, but I wouldn't get rid of one bed ahead of the new one being delivered in case 1. The new one didn't arrive or 2. There was something wrong with the new one.

I think your neighbour is an idiot and was trying it on by not mentioning what was being delivered. Anyone with an ounce of sense would have given you the key so the bed could be delivered straight to the room it was going in, which is normal for delivery of such a large item.

acatcalledjohn · 24/01/2015 18:01

YADNBU. What planet is the woman on? It would only be reasonable if she'd given you their key and the delivery people were able to deliver the item to the room in question, rather than to the front door.

We have had some large deliveries (boxes roughly 40x60x100cm) and, as we both work 9-5, I contacted the delivery company on the day to please not leave it with the neighbours, but take it back to the depot and leave a card so I could collect. The person I chatted to was rather hard of hearing a thick piece of faeces, did the opposite of what I asked, and seemed proud when he told me they'd leave it with the neighbours [sceptical].

Now our neighbours are lovely people, and I apologised profusely after work. The boxes were big enough for the neighbours to have to leave them outside (it was a dry & sunny day, thank heavens) and they even apologised for doing that.

You just don't assume your neighbours are willing and able to take something in that is larger than an average parcel.

DejaVuAllOverAgain · 24/01/2015 18:30

I wouldn't get rid of my old bed until I'd taken delivery of my new bed so it wouldn't occur to me that anyone else would. While I'm willing to take in parcels for my neighbours there's no way I would take in a bed. YANBU.

acatcalledjohn · 24/01/2015 18:36

[sceptical] was obviously meant to be Hmm.

I wish there was an edit button for blonde moments like this one Blush.

gamerchick · 24/01/2015 18:48

Why on earth didn't she just give you a key? What a knob Hmm

waithorse · 24/01/2015 18:50

Why would anyone arrange a bed and mattress to be delivered, when they are on holiday ? Hmm

KatieKaye · 24/01/2015 18:52

A neighbour asked if they could store their new kitchen units in my conservatory, prior to them being installed - I was happy to help.

But being faced with a stonking great double bed out of the blue and expected to store it??? Completely different. No rational person would do that.

The obvious thing to do would be to tell OP about the bed and leave her with a house key.

NDN is 100% unreasonable.

Don't give it a second thought. If she brings it up again just say "Don't be silly - I couldn't store your bed for 4 days just because you are disorganised enough to arrange delivery when you're away and didn't want to give me a key."

It really is her problem, not yours. they made a stupid decision to try and dump the bed on you and funnily enough you didn't go along with it.

EdSheeran · 24/01/2015 18:55

My house is teeny tiny and a bed would not have physically been able to go anywhere! except in the garden I am friendly with my neighbours and we take in deliveries for one another. I accepted huuuuuge curtains which blocked my hallway but only because it could physically fit.

SoonToBeSix · 24/01/2015 19:00

Concrete neither I would just weigh up my inconvenience - a very crowded hallway. To that of my neighbours sleeping on the floor. My conclusion would be the neighbour would have the worse deal.

SoonToBeSix · 24/01/2015 19:01

Although the neighbour was being ridiculous not leaving a key.

Aeroflotgirl · 24/01/2015 19:11

Soontobesix if the neighbour had the courtesy to be honest with op, she woukd have discovered that op çoukd not physically have a double bed in her house, it woukd be blocking her way. She assumed op knew through her mind reading abililies that she was having a double bed delivered. Never ever assume. That's the lesson she has learned, now she has to sleep on the floor.

8misskitty8 · 24/01/2015 19:12

I had a previous neighbour do this to me. A huge wardrobe/table not sure really but massive box for them arrived. The delivery driver showed me the slip and it had on the special instructions to deliver it to me as the purchaser (neighbour) would not be in. The neighbour hadn't asked me or even told me about the delivery !
I had a new born baby in my arms and standing there in my PJ's and refused the delivery and told the delivery driver why. (Not sure were I would have put it either )
Neighbour came home from work and came round ranting and raving at me that i should have taken the delivery as they knew i'd be in. He got short shift from me as he had deliberately arranged delivery for when he wouldn't be in and put my address down on the slip.

OP your neighbour is being ridiculous. A bed is a bit different to holding a delivery from amazon for a few days.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 24/01/2015 19:14

If a lovely neighbour asked in advance if we could take in a double bed & mattress, we could do it (just about) but I'd absolutely expect to know what it was in advance.

YANBU to refuse having not been asked specifically in advance. You didn't have room and she didn't leave you a key. If she'd asked outright, you could have asked her for the key and let the delivery people in. Therefore her problem for being so sneaky. She's probably really annoyed that she didn't think of the key and will therefore be in a huff for a while.

KatieKaye · 24/01/2015 19:15

You obviously have a different hallway to many folk then Six - in my modern semi it would not have been "very crowded" - it would have been impassable.

And that is much more than inconvenient - it is highly dangerous. In the case of a fire, it would turn an exit route into a death trap.

the risk of death or serious injury puts the sight inconvenience of sleeping on the floor (because you're too dozy to arrange delivery on a day you are in) into proper perspective.

8misskitty8 · 24/01/2015 19:23

Some of you must have giant hallways if you could store a double bedframe as well as a double mattress in your hallways and still have space to pass !

But even if the OP did have a massive hallway the neighbour is still an idiot expecting OP to store the bed/mattress for 4 days and then complaining when Op couldn't.

FryOneFatManic · 24/01/2015 19:58

SoonToBeSix I have nowhere I could store something of that size. It would be far, far more than an inconvenience.

Greencurtain · 24/01/2015 20:01

What a fuckwitted entitled neighbour.

AnnieLobeseder · 24/01/2015 20:04

FFS, she is totally trying it on. She "assumed" you would realise what it was my arse!! If I was asking a neighbour to take in something as completely ridiculous as a whole bed for 4 days, I would take great pains to make sure they were very clear that the item was in fact a bed and then take great pains to make sure they were absolutely okay with that. Tell her to fuck off. Airbeds are easy enough to get hold of.