Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate going to the pub my friend works in?

66 replies

FleurDeCassius · 24/01/2015 14:26

Any night me and my friend decide to go local we always go to the pub that she works in.

I have no problem with the pub itself (it can be a little bit Werewolf in London type thing sometimes though lol)

But she knows everyone in there and will end up talking to different people all night. Such as going up to get drinks and talking for ages whilst I'm sat on a table by myself.

I don't really know anyone in there, and whilst I'm friendly and can chat to most people I still find it awkward.

Aibu to not want to go?

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 24/01/2015 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SurlyCue · 24/01/2015 14:33

I agree, go to the bar with her and get to know these people too. You could also suggest other places to drink?

MyFriendlyDaemon · 24/01/2015 14:35

Yes go to the bar with her. Talk to the people she's talking to.

Original poster
FleurDeCassius · 24/01/2015 14:35

I don't really want to get to know them. Most of them are leery married men in their 40/50s.

I'm 22.

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 24/01/2015 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoJo · 24/01/2015 14:45

But the OP wants a night out where she gets a chance to spend some time with her friend, not a night making small talk with her pub punters.

SurlyCue · 24/01/2015 14:47

So suggest other bars. I'll be honest it's pretty annoying when you go out with someone who is clingy and whinges about you talking to other people. I go out to socialise, talk to people, catch up with friends. I go places i know those friends will be. As a result i now no longer go with a person who didnt like me chatting to others. She complains that we never go for drinks anymore. Well i do, just not with her. Its so much more enjoyable.

laughingmyarseoff · 24/01/2015 14:47

YANBU if you don't want to go in there for whatever reason. It can be boring to always go to the same place when going local so go somewere else.

SurlyCue · 24/01/2015 14:48

If you want to just talk to your friend then go for coffee instead of bars. Or go see her at her house. Bars are sociable places where people circulate and expect to chat to more than just the person they arrived with.

DoJo · 24/01/2015 14:57

If you want to just talk to your friend then go for coffee instead of bars. Or go see her at her house. Bars are sociable places where people circulate and expect to chat to more than just the person they arrived with.

a) That's certainly not a universal rule - what an unusually rigid approach to socialising
b) It's not a bar, it's a pub

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 24/01/2015 15:00

I hate it when my friends come in when I'm working. They think they're doing me a favour by doing so if I can't get the night off. Confused

EatShitDerek · 24/01/2015 15:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 24/01/2015 15:02

Sorry op your post made me think. It's not aimed at you negatively nor have I misunderstood your op.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 24/01/2015 15:03

Cross post derek

SurlyCue · 24/01/2015 15:04

what an unusually rigid approach to socialising

Actually i think expecting people to stay by your side and not talk to others in a pub/bar is the rigid approach.

I didnt say people had to socialise with others (that would be odd and rigid) i said people expected to. If you dont want to, fine, but OP's friend clearly does.

EatShitDerek · 24/01/2015 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iggi999 · 24/01/2015 15:12

Have never heard the expression "going local" before this thread. What's that all about then?

Original poster
FleurDeCassius · 24/01/2015 15:12

I hate it when my friends come in when I'm working. They think they're doing me a favour by doing so if I can't get the night off.

Huh? How is this relevant to what I asked? I don't go in and see her when she's working.

I'm talking about us both having a night off and her wanting to go to her workplace.

I'll be honest it's pretty annoying when you go out with someone who is clingy and whinges about you talking to other people

I'm no clingy.

I don't whinge.

In a bar its completely different. I'm a social butterfly, I love talking to different people.

I don't cling to anyones side.

In a pub it's different, I don't have much in common with people that go there.

I get bored. I'm not clingy.

OP posts:
Brandysnapper · 24/01/2015 15:12

...though I have heard of "going loco" (down in Acapulco)

DoJo · 24/01/2015 15:13

Actually i think expecting people to stay by your side and not talk to others in a pub/bar is the rigid approach.

I was commenting on the part of your post which seemed to imply that if you want to spend time with friend you have to do it in a coffee shop or at someone's house, and that nobody should expect to spend the majority of their time with the friend they have arranged to see if they go to a bar. Apologies if that wasn't clear.

Original poster
FleurDeCassius · 24/01/2015 15:13

Iggi

Going local means staying local. As in I can walk there.

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 24/01/2015 15:15

So start going to different places OP. Is there a reason you always go to her pub?

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 24/01/2015 15:18

Gah. As I explained I wasn't having a go at you. It just made me think about my friends annoying me when it comes to choosing a pub to go to. Sorry.

Original poster
FleurDeCassius · 24/01/2015 15:18

Because she always wants to,

I suggest other places and it's met with Confused

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 24/01/2015 15:20

No it wasnt clear.
My comment was specifically for OP as it was suggested that she just wanted to talk to her friend rather than talk to other people. If that is the case then a coffee shop or in either of ther homes with a glass of wine might be a better way to get the one:one conversation. I never suggested that people had to do that! It was specific to OP.