Quick background - we've been together nearly 30 years, married for 20, two DCs in early teens. My job since having kids has been very part time and flexible, and I have been very happy to get on with most things at home, as I have had the time, whereas DH hasn't.
I did all the financial stuff, food shopping, most of the housework, some of the gardening, most of the kids school stuff, helping with homework, running them around, our social diary, holidays, helping elderly parents ..... etc etc.
DH cooked a couple of times a week, did the dishwasher occasionally, did a bit of gardening occasionally. His massive contribution to our household has been DIY - that's his thing and we've gradually extended and completely redone our home, mainly done by him.
Anyway, we get to now. An opportunity came up at work for longer hours, meaning more time in the office (London commute, approx 3 hours round trip, sometimes more depending on shite trains), more money, more responsibility. I jumped at the chance as the kids are more independent, at secondary school, quite able to come home alone and sort themselves out until one of us gets home. DH agreed it was a good opportunity and said he would 'step up' at home more.
Unfortunately it also concided with him going self employed, setting up his own business, which has taken up a lot of his time, understandably.
But I've become resentful and frustrated that still most of the stuff at home is down to me. Admittedly the kids are lazy and that needs addressing, one of DH's bugbears, but he doesn't do enough, he really doens't get it. He tries, but its crap, and I'm finding it hard to live with the chaos.
We're snippy with each other and tetchy, neither of us seeing each others side. He said this morning that I've changed and I'm not as laid back as I was, and the house is always full of tension these days, while he's doing his best to build up his business for the family. WTF!
I text him earlier saying let's have a 'family meeting' later and discuss how things can be improved, with all of us mucking in and doing our bit. He replied 'not much point, as my view is rarely listened to, I try to get the kids to do more, but you get upset if I raise my voice ... all this softly softly shit isn't working with them'.
We do have very different ways of parenting, and becuase I have always been here much more than DH, that is what the kids are used to. I do get results, I try not to yell and scream. DH's preferred method is to begin softly softly over nicely, then rage.
Jesus. long post, thanks for reading, we've always had a good relationship but I can see it going tits up as I'm losing respect for him 
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