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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you all this (hairy-hand related!)

103 replies

FarFromAnyRoad · 21/01/2015 16:26

So just suppose you were a troll for a day. You've got no friends, you don't smell all that good, daylight brings you out in suppurating boils and your toes are webbed. You've got free reign to concoct a bullshit story for an adoring MN audience. What would your subject be? Would you stay and reappear throughout to build your tale or would you dump a doozy and run?
I ask because I'm fairly sure mine wouldn't be about bloody curtains or parking or any other such everyday thing Grin. I'd have blood, shrieks, locked rooms, hidden cameras........oh, wait........... Grin That's been done right? What's the way forward for the modern thinking troll of today?

OP posts:
Nerf · 21/01/2015 21:35

Well while you are all here, perhaps you can answer a niggle for me?
My NDN has three kids, and I saw her off out with the two oldest yesterday morning. I was really surprised when I saw the baby (toddler really) in the back garden so I brought her in and I've been feeding her (poor thing was really cold) and put some of dd's clothes on her.
AIBU? Should I have left her out there?

Original poster
FarFromAnyRoad · 21/01/2015 21:37

Nerf - it depends. I think you should make clear whether you fed her a Pot Noodle and a couple of Fruit Shoots?

OP posts:
Original poster
FarFromAnyRoad · 21/01/2015 21:39

Is being a GF (goady fucker) a separate calling to being a troll? I think so - a troll weaves a big long story about some improbably event (or about curtains if they're a baby troll in training) whereas a GF posts something that will immediately get everyone's backs up without there necessarily being a story attached. Would that be a fair assessment?

OP posts:
Nerf · 21/01/2015 21:40

Oh god well this is where I feel really bad. Her mum feeds them Gregg's and ready meals but I only had some organic falafel so I gave her those.

AnyoneforTurps · 21/01/2015 21:41

I think you should make clear whether you fed her a Pot Noodle and a couple of Fruit Shoots?

LOL. Or some gingerbread you've pulled off your house.

FightOrFlight · 21/01/2015 21:45

So starting a goady thread is just attention seeking, putting the cat amongst the pigeons and liking what it produces and trolling is going that extra mile then

Ooh, I'm not sure now Confused

I suppose both could be considered trolling as they are posting with the deliberate aim of getting a reaction. The curtain one just didn't seem nasty enough for me to consider it to be trolling.

Tinks42 · 21/01/2015 21:46

Ok then. Trolls surely can't do as much damage in the long run due to the story being too far stretched and becoming recognised rather quickly, where a goady thread could be far more upsetting?

Original poster
FarFromAnyRoad · 21/01/2015 21:55

I think that's probably right Tinks but I suppose it would depend on the subject matter - as it would with trolling.
I could sit here until the cows come skating home and it would never occur to me to pass an entertaining couple of hours making up a story about someone's curtains Grin - that, I think, takes a particular kind of deadheadedness!

OP posts:
Tinks42 · 21/01/2015 22:02

I have no idea what the curtain thread was ... Was just asking a genuine question here. Dearly wishes I had now though Grin

squizita · 21/01/2015 22:05

Something to do with swingers and pampas grass. Not sure whether op would be disgusted, intrigued or involved. Pampas grass envy? New couple causing politics? Grin

FightOrFlight · 21/01/2015 22:05

Trolls tend to be people who pop up on threads about serious matters and make comments that will deliberately upset people.

I remember some very nasty posters from another forum who would post "you deserve to die" etc. on threads where someone had disclosed they had cancer.

There were some very entertaining posters though that were clearly bonkers so you never believed a word they said, just rolled with the bullshit. They were the attention seekers.

Original poster
FarFromAnyRoad · 21/01/2015 22:05

Curtain Thread

OP posts:
Original poster
FarFromAnyRoad · 21/01/2015 22:07

Of course Fight there are some people who post about having cancer who have no such thing. People who post that they are terminally ill and then get someone else to post when they've 'died'. People who pretend to be professionals and dish out advice when really they're qualified in bugger all. Those are the dangerous ones.

OP posts:
FightOrFlight · 21/01/2015 22:08

Cross post Blush

FightOrFlight · 21/01/2015 22:11

Far Yes, I can think of a quite a few of those!

Original poster
FarFromAnyRoad · 21/01/2015 22:17

Anyway I've just rather ill-advisedly eaten a goodly wedge of Lincolnshire Poacher so I'm quite sure there'll be troll material aplenty as a result of the night of troubled dreams that lies ahead!

OP posts:
Tinks42 · 21/01/2015 22:18

Yeah the curtain thread is just someone asking if another person should leave their curtains shut "all" the time and I'd actually think it was oddwant to know what was going on behind them to be fair. Its the posters after the initial thread that probably blew it all out of proportion...

BlackeyedSusan · 21/01/2015 22:30

well.. there would be a bun fight if one stated that one kicked a dog that jumped up and nipped one of my, preferably reception age dc as it was tied up just inside the school gate which is the only access to the school and only the width of your average door.

depending how it went you could drip feed later that your dc had poked the dog in the eye with a pointy pencil... deliberately and had been tormenting the dog for weeks.

or the other way and state that the head had previously tried to ban dogs on school premises and discourage the owners of the twenty or so irresponsible dog owners who tie the dogs to the fence in a narrow alley and let them fight/ whack them on the nose to make them behave? and the owner concerned had previously been seen allowing the dog to run round on the football pitch, and interfer with the ks1 football after school club chewing the ball, knocking over the smallest reception child and shit in the middle of the pitch.

iklboo · 21/01/2015 22:33

This one is real - cheese dream related.

I dreamed I had sex with Ron Perlman in the back toilet of a coach. He kept his leather jacket on throughout and the buckles were jangling. It was rubbish sex & I felt sorry for him.

Last time I'm having chilli cheese on crackers before bed. Blush

MoanCraft · 21/01/2015 22:41

Think I'd go for something to do with a penis. Like involving a cup maybe. Grin

I'd do a 'I found a message in my brand new primark jeans pocket that was from the little girl who made it which said "help me"'
How about that one.

LMGTFY · 21/01/2015 22:45

An aforementioned 'situation' is ok apparently, I had an email from the powers that be after sending an SOS (sack of shit) message this aft. It's made me seriously doubt my hairyhanded-dar today.

We need to get back to the imaginary stories before we get told off.

Original poster
FarFromAnyRoad · 21/01/2015 22:45

That's worth a trial run Moan. You'll have to wait for this thread to be dead and long buried before you can try it out!
I'm Shock at the chilli cheese dream! I mean - really? Ron Perlman? Toilet of a coach! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
FarFromAnyRoad · 21/01/2015 22:47

LMGTFY do you mean that mentioning previous threads or involvement on MN is like a stamp of approval?Shock

OP posts:
UterusUterusGhali · 21/01/2015 22:56

Following from the secret call-girl idea, one of the Johns could be your fil, and he was blackmailing you.

Unless you pooped on him he would tell your DH.

You didn't want to upset your poor DH as he was about to go into hospital to have an abscess the size of his fist lanced.

(Of course there'd be trouble parking at the hospital; do you park in a disabled bay or risk missing the app?)