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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell my neighbour to refrain from telling my children where they can play...

122 replies

minionmadness · 18/01/2015 17:01

We live semi rurally, there are only 6 houses next to a small farm. We are surrounded by fields.

In front of the houses there is a single lane that is both our access, (onto the main road around a mile away) and a public footpath/bridleway.

Back gardens are around 150 feet long and at the footpath also runs along the end of the gardens.

Today the dts's (7) wanted to ride their scooters in the lane that surrounds the houses. I was out there with them and they were instructed to stay at the back rather than go near the lane in the front of the houses.

As they went past one of the neighbours gardens their dogs started barking, I reassured them that the dogs were in the gardens and they carried on scooting. Neighbour then came out and shouted to my dc to go and play somewhere else. I presume he didn't know I heard.

Was IBU to tell him to tell him to mind his own business and to please stop telling my dc where they could or could not play, or should we have moved the children since their scooting past the bottom of his garden was making the dogs bark. Incidentally his own children are teenagers now but when younger they played in the lane all the time... and why wouldn't they. There is no way the noise could be heard from the houses as the gardens are too long, neither were the dc shouting, they were merely scooting.

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 18/01/2015 17:04

TBH, if it was making his dogs bark, and as you have long gardens, I'd have told the children to scoot in your garden. Not because they don't have the right to be out there, just that it would be annoying to your neighbour as I guess his dogs aren't used to people being out there all the time.

NeedABumChange · 18/01/2015 17:05

But he must have heard them from his house or he wouldn't have known they were there?

phoenixrose314 · 18/01/2015 17:07

If it was good enough for his kids when they were young, it's good enough for yours.

YANBU.

Jengnr · 18/01/2015 17:08

Surely you can't scoot in a garden anyway?

Ignore him. They were doing nothing wrong.

UmizoomiThis · 18/01/2015 17:08

I presume he heard his dog bark at the kids, not the kids. I wouldn't want to aggravate the dog and I suspect it was the scooters not the children who aggravated it. So YABU.

LucilleBluth · 18/01/2015 17:09

Ignore him, let them scoot, some people are just miserable bastards. British people love dogs and hate kids.

CatsClaus · 18/01/2015 17:11

shout over to the dogs to "shut up!"

your neighbour is being a cheeky beggar!

JoanHickson · 18/01/2015 17:11

He should control his dog, if it was good enough for his dc.

Fatstacks · 18/01/2015 17:14

I can't understand why people would rather alienate neighbours to defend the right of their offspring.
You live rurally so there will likely be lots of exciting places for them to scoot without disturbing people.
A cheery sorry and a comic aside telling the kidsthe man is a grumpy sausage is enough
YABU

londonrach · 18/01/2015 17:18

Yabu. As you got a long garden why dont your dc scoot in the garden to stop upsetting the dogs.

BadtzMaru · 18/01/2015 17:21

YANBU if his children used to play there he is wrong to expect yours not to now, double standards. He should bring the dog inside if it's getting wound up by the scooters.

Original poster
minionmadness · 18/01/2015 17:21

The garden is not suitable for scooters. They do play in the garden mainly but they had asked if they could go in the lane on their new scooters. We thought it would be a good place to start to teach some independent play outside the garden.

The neighbour heard his dogs barking, not the dc.

OP posts:
LizzieVereker · 18/01/2015 17:22

My rational brain says ignore him. Children are allowed to play in public spaces, and I'm sure they weren't shouting and screaming, just scooting and making normal kid noise. Why some people regard the sound of children playing as a nuisance is beyond me. I doubt he would shout at an adult jogger going past a few times and setting his dogs off, so why is it OK in his mind to pick on children?

The slightly doormatty side of my brain says "Don't let them play there too often, to avoid aggro." But then that's just giving in to a bully I suppose. Tricky. I know my rational brain is right but suspect that in real life I'd avoid confrontation. Hopefully you're braver than me, OP.

Vivacia · 18/01/2015 17:23

He was wrong to talk to your children as he did. However, given that there's lots of space and that you're neighbours in a rurally isolated spot and that his dogs were getting wound up, I'd make adjustments to where your children play.

Next time you see him you could mention how lovely it was that your children played in the lane for the first time this year and it reminded you of seeing how much fun his children used to have.
Playing in the lane.

Holscrafty · 18/01/2015 17:25

Nope... Your children have as much right to be there as his dog.

Fatstacks · 18/01/2015 17:27

Too late for that Viv there has already been an outraged 'how dair you speak to my children' judging from the OP.

Oh well.

NeedABumChange · 18/01/2015 17:29

Yes they have a right to be there but it's a bit harsh to purposefully wind any animal up isn't it?
Animal is under control if it's in a secure garden, most would react to being tormented by children.

Vivacia · 18/01/2015 17:30

Dur, I didn't read the OP closely enough.

bigbluebus · 18/01/2015 17:30

If his dogs bark when someone is on the lane, then he should take his dogs indoors if it is a problem for him. I'm assuming it is a public lane and anyone could walk or run down there possibly causing his dogs to bark.
One of my NDNs dogs barks every time I go out of my house or pull up on the drive. It doesn't bother me (small dog and can't get out) but I would be mightily pee'd off if the NDN asked me not to be outside my house as it made his dog bark.

ChippingInLatteLover · 18/01/2015 17:30

Tell him if he doesn't like it, it take his dogs inside. Your children have every right to play out there.

JoanHickson · 18/01/2015 17:32

The children are playing on a scooter since when is that tormenting a dog?

Dogs who bark are a nusance, if the owners don't control the dog op could report them.

ChippingInLatteLover · 18/01/2015 17:34

They aren't 'winding the animals up' nor are they 'tormenting' them. They're riding their scooters! They need reassurance from their owners that it's 'ok' and if they can't accept that to be taken inside.

I love dogs, I've had dogs. It's what I'd do, no hesitation.

Velvetbee · 18/01/2015 17:37

But it's not being tormented by children.
We have a footpath down the side of our house, it goes to a supermarket and people walk up and down it all the time, kids cycle etc. Our dog sometimes takes exception to them and barks but is told to wind her neck in as it's a public space.
For those saying that there will be masses of places to play as the OP is rural, I disagree. Rural areas often don't have pavements and cars are often driven too fast along winding country roads.

honeysucklejasmine · 18/01/2015 17:39

BigBlue, my neighbours dogs are the same. If anyone steps outside then its constant. It's how i know my DH is home! Wink Very annoying! If i had to make sure i didn't disturb them, i wouldn't leave the house!

Sadly, it makes me rather resent my neighbour, who is actually a nice person, if a bit lax on the doggie discipline front.

OP, YADNBU!

usualsuspect333 · 18/01/2015 17:41

Tell him to take his dogs in if the barking is getting on his nerves.

YANBU.