To tell my neighbour to refrain from telling my children where they can play...

[minionmadness]

We live semi rurally, there are only 6 houses next to a small farm. We are surrounded by fields.

In front of the houses there is a single lane that is both our access, (onto the main road around a mile away) and a public footpath/bridleway.

Back gardens are around 150 feet long and at the footpath also runs along the end of the gardens.

Today the dts's (7) wanted to ride their scooters in the lane that surrounds the houses. I was out there with them and they were instructed to stay at the back rather than go near the lane in the front of the houses.

As they went past one of the neighbours gardens their dogs started barking, I reassured them that the dogs were in the gardens and they carried on scooting. Neighbour then came out and shouted to my dc to go and play somewhere else. I presume he didn't know I heard.

Was IBU to tell him to tell him to mind his own business and to please stop telling my dc where they could or could not play, or should we have moved the children since their scooting past the bottom of his garden was making the dogs bark. Incidentally his own children are teenagers now but when younger they played in the lane all the time... and why wouldn't they. There is no way the noise could be heard from the houses as the gardens are too long, neither were the dc shouting, they were merely scooting.

YANBU, I live in a very isolated, rural area & our new neighbour is a PITA, TBH.
When my 9 year old was kicking his football in our back garden, she shouted at him because she was herding her goats (yes, really), in the next field! !
Out here in the country, there are few places for children to play as most fields are given over to crops or livestock & there are even fewer play parks, (Ha, our nearest is 9 miles away, whoopee!)
So, given the circumstances, I think OP that YANBU & neighbour shouldn't allow his dogs to bark at people who legitimately travel up & down the lane. (No euphemism intended, please take this final statement literally )

cees I don't think he knew I was there and probably got a shock when I piped up. I didn't say too much as the dc were there and I didn't want to scare them.

They are good kids and were loving being allowed out of the garden for the firs time, they were just scooting in a public space, 150 feet away from the houses. They weren't even making any noise whatsoever... and the more the evening has wore on the more pissed off I am. Why can't kids play outside their home in a non noisy way?

Perhaps I should point out to him that whilst they are at work all day and leave their dogs outside, they bark on and off all day, I suspect every time someone goes by. I work from home so hear them often.

Children play, dogs bark

Should the children stop playing or the owner deal with the dogs?

Train the dogs obvs.

most would react to being tormented by children.

??torment children playing on a public footpath is torment now? ffs

Why did you buy scooters if there is no where for your kids to scoot?
There is a safe place to scoot. RTFT. Problem is the neighbour who thinks his dogs take precedence.

Minion, your children were doing nothing wrong. Children come before dogs every time (& yes, I have had dogs & I do love them).
Your children have a right to play outside their home.
Added to this, there are not likely to be any local parks/skate board parks for your children to play in.
(Just DON'T annoy the posh goatherd!

The kids weren't causing a disturbance, the dogs were - can't see how it would be reasonable to move the children instead of the dogs?

YANBU - if his dogs bark, it's his problem, not yours. Not sure of bye-laws in the UK, but in my bit of Australia, dog owners are expected to keep their dogs under control, and this includes barking at passersby and rushing up to gates to bark.

Fuck him, and fuck his dogs too!

We live along a lane and if my Jack Russell is on the garden, she will bark at everyone who walks past. However if her barking goes on for more than a few seconds, I call her inside.

Your neighbour should call his dogs in and let the children play on the lane. Could you go and have a chat with him and say its the only safe place for them to scoot, so they will be playing there every now and again?

I wouldn't move my children if dogs were barking at them through a fence, I'd expect the owner to stop the dogs.

Bakeoff He knows only too well it's the only safe place for them to play outside of the garden because his dc played there on their bikes and scooters all the time when they were younger. Double standards hey!

He didn't have any dogs then though.

You live rurally so there will likely be lots of exciting places for them to scoot without disturbing people.

have you ever bee into the country.the fields are all mud and long grass and unscootable.The roads often have no footpaths.The neighbour is cheeky beyond belief to complain about the noise her own dogs were making!!The children right to play is more important than her fucking dogs!
viviennemary as I understood it the kids were on the footpath that runs behind the houses not on the lane.Rural hamlets don't have playgrounds whwre do you expect them to play?

You might have to casually remind him of that minion

Whenever I see these sorts of threads I would love to hear the other side of the argument from the neighbour.

He needs to train his dogs.

If mine start barking in the garden they're immediatly called inside. They've now mostly realised that barking means end of fun time so have pretty much stopped it.

Tedandlola. how is that anything like the OP other than she and your neighbour both have kids?

It's the attitude that's the same. Rather than ask their kids to play a short distance away and not bother any of the neighbours, they would rather assert the kids' right to play where they want.

Whenever I see these sorts of threads I would love to hear the other side of the argument from the neighbour.

Quite.

I'm sure if my neighbour came on here her post would be something like "My DCs like to play out in the summer, rather than being stuck in front of TVs and computer games. But we have a grumpy neighbour who moans about it. They aren't making excessive noise, just normal kids' noise, and all they do is kick a ball around like I'm sure our neighbours' kids like to do. They want to dictate what my kids can play and what kind of ball they use, ffs! AIBU?"

Actually, I am being unfair to the OP. Sorry, minionmadness. This is such a touchy subject for me because the woman I'm describing caused me so much stress last year! I was thinking that it probably wasn't the dogs barking that had really upset your neighbour but if it was, then of course he's the one being unreasonable. I shouldn't be projecting my neighbour's behaviour on to you.

Sorry

We have a similar set up to you by the sounds of it.

I have a dog, who will sometimes bark if he hears stuff when he's outside in the garden.

Most of the time he doesn't, but occasionally he does. The onus is on me though to shut him up, not my neighbours. If he barks, he comes in

Although my neighbours' kids actually come in to my front garden and tap on the living room window . Then they do get told to play elsewhere!

There is no other side to hear... He would say that he heard his dogs barking continually so went outside and only then heard my dc playing in the lane, (is the first time they've played here) the garden are 150ft long so he wouldn't have heard them because they weren't shouting, only scooting, until he walked to the end of his garden where the dogs were. He then shouted to my dc to go and play somewhere else, which is when I asked him not to shout at them, and before I could say anything else he then went in doors with his dogs. I believe he hadn't realised I was there and went in due to being embarrassed at being caught out shouting at my dc. What more could he say, this is all that happened!

My dc went into a public space outside of our garden for the very first time to play where his children have played many a time when they were younger... on bikes and scooters. I would never have said anything, why would I, they were children playing in a safe place.

I ask those who think I ABU, why was it ok for his dc to play there, but not mine?

Tedandlola I'm sorry you are having problems with your neighbour.

I can only assure you that I would never let my dc do what your neighbour's dc are doing.

My garden backs onto a childrens playpark. Sometimes my dog barks when kids are there, sometimes he doesnt. If he does bark I bring him in, because it pisses me off listening to him bark never mind the neighbours.

So due to some peoples reasoning on here I should leave the dog out to bark, go round to the play park and tell the kids to piss off and play somewhere else, even though my DD plays on the park - got to have the double standards.

OP, if your neighbours kids played out there then he has no leg to stand on, your kids playing trumps his bloody dogs

Blimey, if we had to worry about winding dogs up when dc's play, my DD would never be able to play in the garden for fear of making the neighbours dog bark. Btw, the dog barks at bloody everything.

YANBU OP, you cant help it if his dogs bark, I can imagine its not just the dc's that make the dog bark either.

I think yabu for telling him to mind his own business.

Not for letting the kids play there.

I think you could have diffused the whole situation by being the better person after he had shouted.
Sure he's a dick but you don't have to carry it on by getting on your high horse.
Relax, set a good example for the kids and just move a little for today.
You aren't losing face by not having a row you are making your own life easier.

I've seen the worst of human nature and it always comes down to humans being territorial or religion.