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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

.. To have wanted to tell this man to f#&k off?

89 replies

Messtermind · 18/01/2015 01:14

Today at work, I was on my break and eating my dinner. A regular customer who comes in every day walked past, stopped in front of my table and said 'always eating when I see you, I swear your getting fatter by the minute!'

Now, yes he's a regular and knows my name, but apart from that he doesn't know me from Eve, I am very overweight definitely.. But I do not need an elderly man to point this out to me and pass judgement on my eating habits! I guess it's a good job I'm relatively thick skinned, that being said to someone more sensitive could have caused a multitude of problems Hmm

Thinking back there's many many things I could have said, what I actually did was just fake a laugh and turn back to eating my dinner. I was actually a little shocked that people say things like this to people they don't know..!

OP posts:
RandomNPC · 18/01/2015 01:20

Cheeky sod. What kind of place do you work in?

ilovesooty · 18/01/2015 01:22

He was very rude and you would have been justified in saying so. Why is his age relevant though?

Original poster
Messtermind · 18/01/2015 01:25

In a pub Random, hence why I was eating in view of customers, so he'll be back again tomorrow hopefully no more comments!

It wasn't relevant really sooty, not sure why I included it.. Maybe because I find that the older people that I come across a little more blunt than others, or maybe that's a personality difference regardless of age!

OP posts:
Original poster
Messtermind · 18/01/2015 01:26

In a pub Random, hence why I was eating in view of customers, so he'll be back again tomorrow hopefully no more comments!

It wasn't relevant really sooty, not sure why I included it.. Maybe because I find that the older people that I come across a little more blunt than others, or maybe that's a personality difference regardless of age!

OP posts:
MrsTawdry · 18/01/2015 01:27

If he says anything again you say "Always being rude and personal aren't you! I swear you're more of a tit by the minute!" and smile sweetly.

If he reports you, deny, deny deny...explain that you never said any such thing.

Original poster
Messtermind · 18/01/2015 01:27

Oops silly phone!

OP posts:
Original poster
Messtermind · 18/01/2015 01:29

Haha I like that one MrsT, he wouldn't report me, I could say many many things about him if it came down to it Confused

OP posts:
RandomNPC · 18/01/2015 01:32

When I'm in pubs, you do see these regulars sometimes. Quite often they appear a bit odd and over familiar with the pub staff, making all kinds of socially awkward comments. You can see the staff smiling through gritted teeth as they natter endlessly on about rubbish usually as I'm waiting to be served. You have my sympathies trying to deal with them.

emotionsecho · 18/01/2015 01:33

Paraphrase Winston Churchill "I can loose weight but you'll always be rude/obnoxious/ugly/a twat". To be delivered in a deadpan voice with a sardonic smile.

MrsTawdry · 18/01/2015 01:34

Yes I agree with Random. I've worked in bars...you could just say "Another rude comment from you and I'll spit in your drinks!" and then laugh hysterically. Grin He'll never know if you meant it or not!

Original poster
Messtermind · 18/01/2015 01:45

Yeah I think it's because seeing your face every day makes them feel like they know you and that they can cross the socially accepted boundaries.. Not how it works Confused

I like that one as well emotions! Grin

Haha that's evil genius Smile

OP posts:
LedditGo · 18/01/2015 02:00

Gotta love the overfamiliar pub customers... And the rude ones...

I myself have been known to say:

"Sorry chick, you appear to be speaking dumb arse, wanna try that again?"

"Hold on, you want me to pull you a pint AND let you insult me? Sorry love I'm just a one trick pony. Choose and choose carefully because I'm being nice to you right now"

"You're so clever, I AM overweight. Would you like a "jackarse" sticker? Or a swift kick? I'm pretty sure Dave over there would help me out"

Reading these back I was a wee bit sassy!!! Funnily enough I was very heavily tipped too and everyone knew I took no shit.

Original poster
Messtermind · 18/01/2015 02:05

They're great! There's so many witty things I could have said, I'm just not quick enough, rest assured anymore comments I will be wacking out some of these ??

OP posts:
User24689 · 18/01/2015 02:05

Oh my God! I can't believe some people!

On my first day back from work after the Xmas break I was sitting at my desk eating crackers and one colleague came in and said "well, I can see what you spent your Christmas doing... Eating!"

I was so shocked I didn't know what to say, just wondered how fat must I actually look!

And the reason I was eating bloody crackers is I had such bad morning sickness that in actual fact i had spent my whole Xmas throwing up (should have told him that really...)

Original poster
Messtermind · 18/01/2015 02:08

Some people! Yeah.. It's in the moment that you just get tongue tied through shock!

Just reminded me with the morning sickness, he proceeded to point over to a heavily pg colleague and say, at least she has an excuse! Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Messtermind · 18/01/2015 02:09

I had to come home and ask DP if he thought I was putting on weight just to reassure myself, he said no and that said man must be blind Grin

OP posts:
IAmAllImportant · 18/01/2015 08:24

I was working in a shop and had similar. A customer asked if I had a boyfriend or a husband. As I was not yet divorced but had been with DP for a while I replied 'Both' she then asked if I was fat or pregnant, again I replied truthfully with 'Both'
She proceeded to tell me that I would be a lovely girl if I only lost some weight! My manager heard and told her to leave!

DeliciousMonster · 18/01/2015 08:28

'Thats because you always walk past at lunchtime. Not too tight up top, are you?'

bumblecrunch · 18/01/2015 08:29

I can't believe people write the old 'why is his age relevant' line. What is wrong with description?

Dawnywoo · 18/01/2015 08:40

I'm afraid I do believe that older people seem to be quite blunt at times.

This is based on numerous comments from family,,neighbours and customers over the years.

I can only assume they either enjoy it as in 'I'm old and I will say what the bloody hell I like' or they lose some of their social skills as to what's ok and what's personal

ILovePud · 18/01/2015 08:42

What a vile man, that must have been so upsetting. It's a difficult situation as you are in your workplace and he's a customer but I'm interested in what are the 'many' things you could say about him, does he have form for inappropriate or abusive behaviour? I guess it depends on your working culture as to whether it's realistic to have a word with your boss but I don't think you should be expected to put up with this from colleagues or costumers. If you can't do that he could at least at get lots of added 'extras' in his glass when you serve him from now on. Wink

Icimoi · 18/01/2015 08:46

Come off it, Dawnywoo, don't generalise. Plenty of younger people can be "a bit blunt" or worse, and plenty of older people are lovely

MrsPeterQuill · 18/01/2015 08:58

Had similar OP

A bloke came in where I work and asked me 'who ate all the pies?' In a joking manner, but obviously meaning me. I was seven months pregnant at the time, which he didn't know, but the weight had gone all over not just on my bump so I did look fat.

However, he was at least three times the size of me. So of course, my answer should have been 'you!' but I was too polite. I hate it when men think it's ok to criticise any part of a woman's appearence, even when they look like the back end of a bus themselves.

msgrinch · 18/01/2015 09:01

Rim his glass before he comes in tomorrow. Rude prick. Hope it hasn't got you down op.

bumblecrunch · 18/01/2015 09:05

It doesn't really matter whether it's relevant that he was old, does it? Lots of lovely old people, some horrible old people, we all know this. I just can't bear this idea that we have to strip all the colour out of our posts. The person who made the comment was old, so it's fine to describe him as old.