.. To have wanted to tell this man to f#&k off?

[Messtermind]

Today at work, I was on my break and eating my dinner. A regular customer who comes in every day walked past, stopped in front of my table and said 'always eating when I see you, I swear your getting fatter by the minute!'

Now, yes he's a regular and knows my name, but apart from that he doesn't know me from Eve, I am very overweight definitely.. But I do not need an elderly man to point this out to me and pass judgement on my eating habits! I guess it's a good job I'm relatively thick skinned, that being said to someone more sensitive could have caused a multitude of problems

Thinking back there's many many things I could have said, what I actually did was just fake a laugh and turn back to eating my dinner. I was actually a little shocked that people say things like this to people they don't know..!

"Why is his age relevant" I actually cringed at that sooty. Seriously.

OP, he was an absolutely prat. When I was reading your OP I was picturing it being me and standing up with my plate and chucking it in his face.

I wouldn't have done because I don't have the lady balls but its nice to think about.

Good come backs suggested above though!

You can "cringe" all you like. I did address the basis of the post as well. MNHQ have told us quite clearly that they suggest casual ageism is addressed directly in threads rather than simply reporting it and the OP herself has said she's not sure why she brought his age into it. He was appallingly rude, end of. His age is utterly irrelevant.

Tell the landlord. In most pubs you get barred for behaving like a twat.

Op, I think in pubs you very often get a particular type of regular who thinks he's got some sort of 'status' and likes to put the bar staff down to remind them who's the customer and who's the 'serving wench'. Sounds like he might be one of those.

You could always try an more relevant version of Winston Churchill's

'I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.' Such as 'I may be overweight sir, but you are rude and personal'

Then if he complains you could say you were just mis-quoting Churchill!

Im actually cringing harder.

Seriously, theres more to life. There really is. Get out, let your hair down, take off your bra, run through the rain, have a shot of tequila, be free, relax, and undo the cats bum mouth.

You can try to shut me up if you want to. That us your right. If I see casual ageism I'll call it. Simple.

"is" your right. I think discriminatory behaviour is important. You might not.

"Was your mother unable to take the sailor cock out of her mouth long enough to teach you any manners?!"

I've always wanted to use that line on someone like that, but like most people I just stare at them in shock until the moment has passed.

What about the fact that she described him as a man? Is that not casual sexism?

The detail about him being elderly may not be relevant but it doesn't necessarily mean it was included in an ageist or discriminatory way. I sigh inwardly when someone pulls up a poster who is relaying a distressing experience because they think they've said something un-PC, in this context it doesn't make you some worthy upholder of equality it just makes you sound a bit of a tit.

You can't have a narrative without using he or she which automatically defines gender anyway.
I brought this up politely as MNHQ suggest. The OP accepted what I said and I did address the issue in the OP. I don't see why I should as a result come under attack for it.

Rude sod. Next time ask him if he likes sex and travel

I read it as ageist. The people who are criticising me for a polite observation are the ones doing the OP a disservice by derailing the thread.

Sooty, describing an old man as an old man is not discrimination. And I say that as a plump , greying middle aged woman

I'm usually surprised at the cheek and stupidity too tbh.

If you spend so long in. places like pubs as they are open long hours, how can you be surprised staff are eating at breakfast lunch or dinner time.

Do they expect robots who never eat or pee.

I felt his age was brought into it in a derogatory way to reinforce the perception of his rudeness - and of course he was appallingly rude.

I think his age may be relevant in the sense that the OP may have been more reluctant to reply with equal rudeness if the man was elderly than if he was a mouthy teenager trying to get a rise out of her.

There's also the possible issue of whether the man realised how rude he was being - my grandmother made my puppy fat years a misery by publicly exclaiming 'look at you, you're as fat as butter!' Every time she saw me. My mother claimed she meant it as a compliment (this was very rural Ireland in the 80s, and she was in her 80s), whereas I feel that she should gave noticed it brought me to the point of tears every time she said it...

You can use "they". Or "the customer". Just as we called the kids "the baby" before we knew their sex.

OP, he was outrageously rude, but as you were at work, I wouldn't resort to telling him to fuck off. Think of a calm, icily polite retort if he says it again, like pointing out that if he comes in to a workplace at lunchtime, he is very likely to see staff eating lunch, and that you don't appreciate rude personal remarks from customers in any case.

Whether or not you are overweight is absolutely no excuse.

And it would be a very clumsy narrative.

I think people are missing the point I was making. I never said that elderly was in itself derogatory but that it was brought in to reinforce the perception of his rudeness
I apologise to the OP for the thread being derailed by people who felt they had to use it to criticise the point I was making.

Haha thank you everyone, you've all made me feel better knowing IWNBU and he was in fact just an arse!

Pp asked if he had from for such comments, sadly he does I have never experienced one aimed at me before. I think the boss would be very reluctant to ban him from the pub as he often brings a group of 'wealthy friends' and spends a small fortune over our bar!

The ageism thing really wasn't meant as ageism, I think as another pp said it might have had something to do with the fact that if he was a teenager I would have known exactly what to say and would have had no qualms doing so.. Growing up I was taught to respect my elders which I think is still ingrained whether they're rude and disrespectful to me! Honestly, I meant no offence to anyone by using the word 'elderly'