To not be 'Mummy'?

[Iamintwominds]

Dd is approaching one and there are some babbles of 'ma ma mama mama' which are cute.

Recently I have been thinking about this and I'm not altogether sure I want to be 'mummy.' I wondered if anyone else was known by their first name which is what I presume would replace Mummy?

I grew up calling my dp by their first names. I am not scarred by the experience to my knowledge, nor did it effect my feelings for them one bit. A rose by any other name, and all that. I do find it slightly odd when I meet people with the same first name as dm, as that name means mum to me.

I was uncomfortable with mum/mummy at one point, it seemed very formal to make your children address you by a title. However, dp very much wanted to be daddy, and I didn't particularly want to be and daddy (especially as they have dp's surname rather than mine - I thought it would sound like we weren't related). I settled on mam/mammy, dp is northern and we live in the north, and for some reason I was happier with this title.

A few years down the line I'm pretty happy being called whatever. Our dds are 3 and nearly 2 and use a mixture of mummy/mammy/daddy and our first names. It feels ok to both of us.

That makes me think of maim, with an entirely different meaning!

My DH called his dad by his first name up until he was around thirteen. His mum hated referring to him as dad or daddy in front of the kids, so her three DCs just picked up calling him by his first name.

DH started calling him dad when he got tired of being asked whether he was his real dad.

DH's mum has started making comments about me and DH referring to each other as mummy and daddy in front of our DC's, who are just learning to speak. She likes to remind us that we are still individuals and not just parents. I think that is quite silly and sad comment to make, as we still use our first names for a large part of the time and more importantly, our DCs will only have one daddy and one mummy. We are privileged to be their parents and frankly I love being called mummy and hearing DH be called daddy.

That's nice, atthe :)

My dad was an older dad and retired when I was 14. He then came to my school to do supply. I decided I didn't want anyone knowing I was related to him so called him Sir!

If when she's older and you're out with her and someone mistakes you for someone else other than her mum - because they've heard her call you by your name - will you correct them and then possibly have to explain that you made the decision long ago that you wouldn't be 'mummy'? What would you say?

I know, possibly awkward social interactions aren't something to base your decisions on, I know I wouldn't anyway, but I am curious as to what your response would be to that.

Nursery workers/teachers will wonder about it too. "Oh, is this mum?" "No actually I'm (yourname), but I am her mum yes..." ??
Or waving your dd off for the day, "Bye (yourname)!" "Oh is mummy not dropping you off today?"

In that example, it would be very random! I can't think why someone in a shop or something would start quizzing me on what a child calls me! But if they did - erm, 'I'm her mum, she just calls me X!'

'Oh, is this mum?' - I'd just say yes! I'm not proposing a blanket ban of the word; I'm not lord voldemort!

The Mummy Who Must Not be Named.

I think you'll find yourself explaining it a lot though, if not in those circumstances then in others. I'd find that really tiring.

I have to explain my first name all the time - I'm used to it!

There's a chance you might like it more when it's your own child and not someone else's whining in the supermarket

It isn't just the whining in the supermarket hehe :) am sure dd will whine! I just don't like it much!

My eldest daughter calls me by my name nearly all of the time, and always has, because that's what feels comfortable and natural for her (and I'm very comfortable with it too). She gets occasional comments but nothing that bothers her, and the same for me. I don't care if people think she's my step daughter or a younger friend. At the end of the day, my relationship with her is between me and her, not between me and her and her nosy colleague. It doesn't make a difference whether my child says 'I love you mam' or 'I love you Lilka', certainly doesn't feel any different. So my kids can call me what they want, as long as it's not an insult

But it works for us because we both feel happy with it. If your DD is fine with calling you by your name, then go for it. If she really isn't happy with it, IMHO it's best to either compromise or let her call you what she prefers. My younger two call me 'mam', and 'mum' (and 'hey!', and 'look!' and various other things too) and never my name, because that's what feels natural for them.

at Lord Voldemort

I think people find it odd because they can't imagine calling their Mum by their first name. My Mum always makes me laugh if she talks to me about my Dad and says his first name inadvertently, she always hastily says "Dave, I mean your Dad" as though I won't know who she means.

I'm surprised this thread has evoked such strong responses.

My DD started calling me, DP and DGPs by a mixture of mamma, dad, nanny etc or our given names shortly after she began to talk. None of us (except DMIL) mind and we just respond to whatever name she uses. I don't use the third person when referring to myself either, although DP will say "daddy's on his way" etc. I guess we're a very sociable family and she's just picking up on what she hears. I don't mind either way, and I don't see the point in enforcing the sole use of mum / dad / nanny etc.

I guess we're all different. You might end up with a situation similar to me OP. As my DM and others refer to me as mamma, then DD does know that's my name, as well as my given name. However, because I respond when she uses my given name she knows she can use that too.

I want to be Mammy or Mam :)

I would love nothing more than hearing a child calling me mummy xx

pinky and cats I'm very lucky. I don't know what to say other than offer a big grinch hug and all my best wishes

OP I don't ever remember calling my mother "mummy". Or my dad "daddy". From early on, they had special nicknames that we evolved as a family. To me, those names are much more special than mummy, which is what everyone calls their mothers.

I am due with pfb in 2 weeks and recently asked my mum if she wanted to be Nanna, Granny, or what.... She said she hadn't really thought about it and would just continue to be Nickname.

I am not keen on Mummy either although I expect DD-to-be will end up calling me that. But DH and I have nicknames for each other and it's equally likely she'll pick up on those.

I have to say, I have never in 35 years had any confusion, trouble, or rude questions about what I call my mum. I address her as Nickname but call her "my mother" or "my mum" to other people. It is really not difficult, honest!

I sometimes get called mummy 'crazy' by my 2 year old (and by my friends little ones). Think it started when we were all together so they could differentiate the mummies from each other :) I think it works cos when you hear a random cry of 'muuuummmmyyy' in a room everyone looks round cos they think it could be them. This way I know it's me

Thanks grinch! Hope I'm lucky one day too! Meanwhile I'll be mummy to my 4 legged babies...my siamese cat meows and sounds like she's saying mama pmsl!!

So you've heard kids wailing "muuuuuuummmmmeeeee" across a supermarket and you don't like it.

YABU. I have never in my life heard a child call their parent by their first name. I think to do that, it makes you sound distant and not their parent. Anyone can be called by their name, only you can be called mum or whatever by your child.

Or is that that you want to be unique and not just another mum? That's what is sounds like.

There are times, when in a park or at softplay, and a million children are running about squealing "mummmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy", and you look up for each one because it sounds just like your child, that it has occurred to me that it would be useful to be called something unique by my children, so that I cease to respond to every cry of "mummy" that I ever hear!

We're a bilingual family, and so I would be quite pleased if my DDs would start calling me mum in the other language, to avoid this issue. But they only ever call me that at home, and then only occasionally. So most of the time, and always in public, I am "mummy", and will remain conditioned to turn around every time any child uses the word! Sigh.

WorraLiberty, that story made me short.

Me and my sister regularly call my mum Birthgiver and that is her name in my phone.. with she absolutely despises, but makes us laugh.. Which is possibly why we've carried on doing it but apart from that it's mama or muuuuum if we want something so I see where you're coming from but just think that it's up to your DC to decide when they're old enough to do so!

My mum is always "mum" to me. Even now. The only times she's not are when I "need" her. When I broke up with partners, when I was severely ill. There is something so so comforting to me about my mum cuddling me and saying "it's ok, mummy's here"

We've worked together before. I've called herby her real name in that environment. It felt so alien to me!!!

I lost my mum as an infant and I was always jealous of people being able to call someone mum!
I personally think it's sad, and your daughter may feel left out like she doesn't have a mum like her peers!