To ask about basic personal hygiene?

[SteptoeAndDaughter]

I'm in my 40s and yet somehow don't feel like I've ever got a handle on this.

What times/how often do you brush & floss?

Shower?

Wash your face?

I know there are no 'right' answers to these questions but I'm trying to figure out what it means to be well-groomed and to look after myself properly. Feeling a bit lost. What does it mean to you?

It's probably a survey or something. It'll pop up somewhere going on about personal hygiene habits in wimmin.

maybe she's in the bath?

Shower twice per day
Brush teeth twice day
Floss every evening
Change work clothes everyday - fresh every morning

Perhaps it's a bloke with a fetish for hearing how often women wash and change their drawers?

Shower every day, wash hair most days. Wash face morning and night and if I'm going out will wash before putting on makeup.

Brush teeth at least twice a day. Never floss. Underwear and tights changed every day and changed if I'm going out in the evening.

I shower every morning, am not one to wander round the house in my dressing gown, so will shower and dress before coming downstairs even at weekends. I can not think of any situation where I would leave the house without a shower, even if I am going to the gym.

In the summer I will shower when I get home from work too. If it is really a really hot summer I will shower before bed as well.

I brush my teeth each morning, when I get home from work and at bed time. Sometimes more at the weekend after meals. I keep a toothbrush and toothpaste at work, in case I drink coffee or eat humus. Only floss about once a week. Visit the hygenist every six months.

I wash my face, tone and moisturise morning and evening.

After showering I moisturise all over, use deodorant and perfume.

I wash my hair every third day, sometime will miss Saturday though, as if I wash it on a Sunday then I only have to wash on a Wednesday before work, as I have long hair it takes 20 mins to dry.

I do a full manicure once a week and do a face mask on a Saturday.

Most of my clothes are washed after each wear, apart from jeans.

My DD loves her beauty routine and can take an hour getting ready for bed, showering, face mask, brushing her teeth etc. I think it is good that she takes pride in her cleanliness and appearance. Only wish DS would do a bit, though he showers about 3 or 4 times a week, not every day.

I brush teeth, wash face (face wash) and scrub nails in mornings (and sink/man was other places). Brush teeth and wash face again before bed. Am bad at remembering to floss. Bath every other night (unless I have somewhere to go on a non bath day other than school run/corner shop/park). Cut toenails, file nails and pluck eyebrows every other night (usually after bath). And gross but trim nose hair. Shave underarms every bath and shave legs (and arms) every other bath (am quite a hairy person and I prefer to be smooth). Wash hair every other day.

We don't have a shower atm which kills me, I used to get have the same routine as above only quick shower every morning with hair in cap, and instead of bath every other night, a bath one night, nothing then a long shower (and shave legs, prefer shaving in the shower). Washed hair during both. With the cost of moving in here (first own home, lived with df before) and christmas, a shower was at the bottom of the have to buy list. But hoping to get one next week!

The OP's question focuses on what we need to do to feel groomed.

For me it is far more about how things look (clean, ironed clothes; hair neatly up, and not visibly dirty; makeup appropriate to the occasion) but for many pps it's about how things smell.

I couldn't contemplate putting dirty clothes on a clean body, but some pps can't contemplate putting clean clothes on a dirty body (definition of dirty being relative).

I'm very interested in the relationship between "frequency of washing" and "frequency of needing washing" because I suspect they are partly chicken-and-egg. If you wash every day you'll smell if you miss a day; if you smell on the second day you will wash every day

I can't put dirty clothes on a clean body or clean clothes on a dirty body... Hence clean clothes and clean body

Shower once a day, brush teeth twice day, change underwear and socks everyday

I think perhaps people become immune to their own smell over time and maybe don't notice it as much? I worked with 2 different women in two different places and neither of them were fans of washing very often, particularly their hair and while it looked ok, clean-ish most of the time, my god, their hair reeked - of body and oil especially if the office got warm. One also had quite bad BO from time to time and I suspect she just simply did not wash either herself or her clothing often enough. I could always tell when she had a shower / bath as there was a visible difference to her hair and office did not have that muggy wet coats type of smell.

I would HATE to smell, or for people to suspect I did not wash enough. I shower every single day before work and mostly wash hair too. I change and wash clothes regularly too. Esp jeans / trousers - doesn't the crotch get a bit whiffy if you have never / rarely washed them? I don't think I have significantly more secretions than most but mine would def need a freshen up after a number of wears!

I am sorry but I cannot imagine that anyone would not smell if they only wash once a week, or worse, once every two weeks!

Well this is how threads happen with the agonising over how to tell someone they smell. People can be oblivious that they've gone off.

I mean what about getting intimate if you only wash your body once a week. Insist that natural smell is preferable or are shagging a once a week body themselves?

I mean we all know what collects under a foreskin if they don't wash it.. The same goes for flaps.

Each to their own like. ..my sil baths twice a year but uses baby wipes to stay fresh and I can say I haven't noticed her being mega smelly or anything.

I love showers! I like being under the water, like the 'clean' feeling afterwards, and so on. But ... I have depression, which for unknown reasons makes me afraid to shower, sometimes for quite long periods. Rather than hating myself for being skanky, I gave myself permission to use baby wipes instead. Baby wipes aren't actually that great at cleaning, and eventually I will decide I probably stink so I have a shower. But it's a better solution than wimping around outside the bathroom, slagging myself off.

Tooth-brushing goes out the window at the same time. If I've not brushed them for 24 hours, I will 'make' myself do it but leave out the careful stuff, just give them a quick scrub. In between I use mouthwash and chew gum.

I only wash my hair once a week usually - sometimes less than that. It looks better 'dirty'. Like a PP, I did leave it unwashed for a whole year once - the condition was fantastic! I had to go through about six weeks of fairly lank, slightly fish-smelling hair before it found its balance, though, so I haven't repeated it (yet.)

I wash my face in the shower. The rest of the time I run a wipe over it - I don't usually wear makeup. If I've had makeup on, I remove it thoroughly before bed or the next morning.

I do remember the 'me' who showered 2 or 3 times a day, washing my hair each time, and carried out all the proper beauty routines. It felt nice, to be sure, but now I recognise that much of it was anxiety-driven. And I simply can't handle that any more [shrug]

shower every morning

wash hair every 3/4 days

brush teeth twice a day, floss when I remember which is hardly ever.

clean pants and socks/tights daily, everything else depends.

^^ I posted that because I know depression affects a lot of people this way, and I don't want anybody to feel bad about themselves when they're already feeling like shit. I'm not holding it up as a personal hygiene ideal or anything (as if ) but pointing out that anyone suffering 'shower fear' isn't alone, and coping solutions are available.

my father seriously bathed once a week during my childhood, and as far as I know he still does the same

he does not smell and never has

I brush twice a day (or more if teeth feel ugh) , floss once
Face twice but not always tap water.. often micellar water
I try to bath or shower once a day but it's often every second day. Got sensitive skin and too much washing makes it feel horrible. I'm not a sweaty person at all though. At the moment it's every 2nd or 3rd day :-( as got no heating , boiler bust

I think it depends on the person . DP and exs say i never smell of anything apart from body lotion and even completely natural my skin has a clean smell apparently If i was sweaty i would shower more religiously. However i do have to do hair every couple of days.. weirdly that gets greasy when my body doesnt
Ex best friend would only shower every few days and she did smell a bit. A work colleague once said that she stunk but EBF didn't believe it. Also her hair was fine and lank like mine yet she'd only wash it once or twice a week.... she thought it looked ok.. it didn't ..she is quite attractive, but not a good look..

It was really hard growing up as my parents live how their parents did. i.e. bath/ wash hair once a week. As a teenager this was hell for me... I was only 'allowed' to wash hair once a week! My hair has thickened up in adulthood (though still quite thin and gets greasy...but i have quite a lot of hair) but as a teen it was very thin and not much of it.. this was the 80s so the time of The Young Ones.. of course i got called Neil (i.e. the hippy) because of my hair.... it was hell.. my parents refused to accept I was being bullied because of greasy hair..
The year before last, i left domestic violence and had to stay with them for a few months..they now wash more frequently but still only weekly with hair... but their hair is dry so looks fine... it was awful for me as i couldn't have daily shower as would get moaned at.. that i was such a 'spendthrift'. i'd get a lecture every time i washed hair (every couple of days) as was being wasteful and 'it's not necessary' (yes it seriously is! my hair gets greasy within about 8 hrs)
It was hideous.. i was never begrudge anyone hot water! and yes i offered to contribute to the bills but apparently it was about the principle not just the money.. 'no one needs to wash hair every couple of days'

HA HA the OP never came back!

would never begrudge, I mean.

Brush teeth at least twice daily, should floss but don't. Face gets washed with plain water several times a day as part of ritual ablutions. I don't wash it separately. Shower every 2-3 days or after sex. Sometimes more. Pants and socks changed daily. Everything else when its dirty.

Can we define "smell"?

A freshly showered body in freshly washed clothes smells of (say) Head & Shoulders, Sure, Chanel No 5, Colgate, Persil, and Comfort.

The next day she smells of Sure, Chanel No 5, Colgate, and Comfort. Do we really think that's substantially different?

By day five, perhaps, she smells of stale sweat and semen, so the Sure and Colgate don't go far enough.

Not smelling as though you have just stepped out of a spa doesn't mean you smell unpleasant. Modern expectations are weird.

A friend who is very eco eschews laundry detergent and similar "unnecessary" chemicals in favour of eg soap nuts. She says it's weird at first but you get used to things smelling of themselves - t-shirts smelling of cotton rather than Unilever, IYSWIM. I ... do not go that far.

Weird thing about the flannels notnaice. The children use flannels (they have showers or baths every night, we both have showers every morning and a bath every night) and we're a family of five.

I have LOADS of flannels and do LOADS of washes every day, so I throw the flannels in every day with whatever wash I'm doing. They do not add to the load at all - given I wash three school uniforms a day, plus sports kit and our clothes, two or three .

The children have clean flannels every day, and the minute they look ratty I chuck them out.

Can't imagine what's mind-boggling about that, but perhaps I have missed something!

Oh yes, we have showers each morning and then share a bath every evening (me in first as I like it hot).

This is a fascinating thread. I hadn't thought about the way what we do is influenced by our parents - makes me glad we are so bloody militant about the children's baths/showers every night. Also makes me sad about people for whom having a wash each night is a financial consideration - I am so spoilt/lucky, I hadn't really thought of that.