To accept this very large tip ?

[BreakfastAtStephanies]

I work in a profession ( am not a doctor or lawyer ). A client came to see me today who I have known for years. 80 + years old, funny, great character, likes things done her way and I make sure they are. I get on well with her, we have a laugh. She is landed gentry with a title and manor house. She has recently been very ill ( almost died ) but has recovered.

Today at the end of her time with me she produced a thick wad of banknotes, peeled off a crisp £ 50 and tried to give it to me.

I protested, tried to dissuade her, politely declining but she insisted: " Buy something that you like or take your husband out to dinner ". In the end it seemed rude to continue to refuse so I pocketed it and thanked her. I said that I didn't know what to say. She said not to say anything just give her a hug. So I did !

WIBU to accept the largest tip I have been given in 25 years of work ? Should I have made her put her money away ? What tips/ things in kind have you received for your hard graft ?

Are you self employed or do you work for someone else? If the latter, there'll be rules aabout what you can accept, no?

At some work places you need to declare gifts so check if you've got a policy on that where you work.

If you are free to accept goods why not, she was tipping her appreciation of your 25 years of good service to her.

Sounds like her illness has made her have a bit of an epiphany!

I'm assuming hairdresser? In which case fine to accept I assume?

Every xmas one of my regulars give me £25 and a box of chocolate. I tried telling her she didnt need to (although did want to hold onto the chocs) but pushing it would upset her and insult her. Thank her and if worried pass the money to a charity the lady would understand. Its a very difficult line to walk. When i worked nhs i could genuine say i couldnt accept gifts. However i did have one guy stuff £10 in my top pocket and walked out of door whilst i fishing the money out to return it to him. Passed it to the department charity. .

£50 probably won't be a massive tip to her, and she'll be offended if you refuse. Just say thank you and pocket it.

Do the anti bribery regulations apply to you? If not, accept her kindness and appreciation of your services.

Tell your boss

See what they say , old school are old school and she would have been deeply offended had you refused

I'm not allowed to have gifts

I would keep the money, but not spend it. Also inform my boss if I worked in the private sector

Yeah, if it could be seen as a bribe then be careful. If not then enjoy it!

Thanks everyone for all these brilliant replies.

IfYoureAWizard - Exactly. Nail on the Head time. That's my course of action so far.

Nerf - haha No if you saw my attempts at cutting or colouring DD's hair you would not say that ! Think private sector in a healthcare field. Some NHS work though.

oh bollocks - yes very old school.

Am not self-employed and should probably check what I should do according to my employer. . . or not tell them. It was in no way a bribe. I told her I'm not allowed but she was not to be deterred and it gets to that moment of awkwardness.

I've been offered tips a few times (I'm an Optometrist).

I can't take them, it would against my ethics code. I say thank you very much and then give them back or often they need new glasses anyway and I just put the money towards those.

One lovely lady wouldn't do either and I put her tip into the charity box.

Sounds a bit odd to tip a health professional to be honest (Podiatrist?)

I'd check with your employer what the protocol is. NHS here and have to declare any gifts (box of chocs at Christmas type of thing).

If you're alowed to take it the accept it with the feeling behind it. I imagine it's an amount that's not going to affect her the accept it with the thanks it was intended. If not the declare it with your company and let them decide,.

My mum used to be in a similar role. She had to declare all gifts. But they still insisted on giving them!
She once worked in a house where all the savings were hung in little bags on the landing, in notes. Thousands upon thousands of pounds, just hanging there. All notes. Because they didn't trust the banks, you see.
Imagine!

Aw I hope you get to keep it. If not would you be allowed to but something like cakes and wine coffee for your team?

If in doubt, give it to charity.

I used to be so like declare it, give it to charity etc etc. As Im getting older I'm like fuckeredy fuck it! Take it, never mention it, deny it if it's ever mentioned. Go out for dinner or buy some shoes. Life's too short

If I'm honest I'd question why an elderly lady is walking around with a thick wad of banknotes and peeling them off like Lady Bountiful. If the lady is 80+ and has recently been very ill you don't want to be accused of taking money from someone who may not be fully capacitous. That would get you in a whole heap of crap at work.

I'd still speak to your supervisor about it. £50 isn't worth risking your job for.

If she has family and says 'oh I gave Breakfast fifty quid the other day" they might take umbrance and report it to your employers. Family can be very weird when it comes to their perceived inheritance being given away!

• umbrage !!

Ha ha Dirty Dancing - Me too I think ! Life is short.

Don't Laugh - that's a barmy house of money bags, strange ( great mental picture)

Hey there Karoleann - I am an optometrist too. Code of ethics applies to me therefore. It occurred behind closed doors in the consulting room, no one else knew. Still deciding what to do.

Will sleep on it

On the other hand I could be totally overthinking this due to the fact I've been on a Mental Capacity Act refresher course today

Yes Fight or Flight thanks that's a very good point. She told me no one would know but you can't be sure what she may say to someone else

Keep it, enjoy it.

Personally I'd buy something small to keep that would remind me of her.

Don't tell work, more hassle than it's worth.

Take it easy there FightOr, don't want to strain your brain ??