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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School Teaching Assistant

43 replies

mullingitovermuch · 15/01/2015 17:48

Not sure if I am BU but just picked my child up from After school Club. He is 5 years old. The Teaching Assistant who works there said
" His class teacher would like to meet with you."
So I said "Ok I'll just pop along and see her."
"Oh she has gone for the day." said the TA
"Is it something serious?" I reply
"Errrm." said the TA.
I now have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to meet with the teacher. Should the TA have even mentioned this to me? The TA isn't in his year group or class so it must be something they have all been discussing in the Staff Room.
Now I'm just feeling really annoyed at the gossipy TA and wish I didn't have to wait until tomorrow to find out what they heck is going on.
I'm overthinking this and assuming the worst - aren't I?

OP posts:
SnowWhiteAteTheApple · 15/01/2015 17:51

Why do you think the TA is gossiping?

Quite often messages are passed on via after school club if the parents don't collect at normal home time.

Ouchbloodyouch · 15/01/2015 17:52

Id be very cross. I would also be telling tales on said TA. I've been a TA and its not her place to say anything. I'd ring the school first thing.

Blueandwhitelover · 15/01/2015 17:52

YABVU- TA was probably asked to catch you at after school club and pass on the message.
If it was something major you would have had a phone call rather than it being left.
Poor TA being branded as gossipy. (Note to self-do not ever volunteer to cover in after school club)

msgrinch · 15/01/2015 17:53

yabu. How is the ta/teacher gossiping? A message needed to be passed onto you about your child. The ta passed it on.

kennyp · 15/01/2015 17:53

i would never say anything to the parent unless the teacher had specifically asked me to. when you speak to her tomorrow (hopefully?) you can get it sorted.

Hmmm2014 · 15/01/2015 17:53

You've jumped to conclusions about her gossiping. She may have been told to tell you by the teacher, who was maybe hoping to catch you when you picked up. It doesn't mean the whole staff have been 'gossiping' in the staff room. Just wait and see tomorrow.

Doesn't your child know he's been in trouble, if that is indeed the case?

Sirzy · 15/01/2015 17:53

Sounds like the teacher has asked the TA to let you know that she would like to meet with you soon so you can then look to arrange something. She didn't say anything at all that suggests there has been gossiping from what you said.

I am struggling to see the problem

Summerisle1 · 15/01/2015 17:55

Can understand you wanting to know why the teacher wants to see you but can't see why you are directing your wrath at the TA. Presumably, as the teacher knows she won't see you before end of school precisely because your ds is at after-school club she has asked the TA who works there to pass a simple message on.

Where's the gossip?

Original poster
mullingitovermuch · 15/01/2015 17:56

SnowWhiteAteTheApple - I get that messages are passed on via After School Club, but a) why didn't the teacher phone me before she left school if there was an issue? I could have come in earlier to meet with her. and b) Now I am sat here wondering what has happened. Which is not a nice feeling as I am worried about it all and will have to remain overthinking it for the next 12-24hrs until I can meet the Teacher.

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 15/01/2015 17:56

I csn't see what's wrong with that- the TA was passing on a message. Seems perfectly normal to me.

WowOoo · 15/01/2015 17:57

She should have passed the message on about meeting with the teacher and at least given you a vague idea what it was about... Bob's reading book/progress/behaviour etc

She might not have known what / what not to say, hence the 'err'.

Don't assume the worst. Try not to worry until you talk to the teacher tomorrow.

WooWooOwl · 15/01/2015 17:59

Why do you jump to the conclusion that they have been gossiping about you? That's completely bizarre!

More likely, the teacher asked for a message to be passed on so that you could call in in the morning.

And btw, school staff discussing children is not gossiping. It's good practice, because information needs to be shared, and teachers are allowed to get support from their colleagues anyway.

Skatingfastonthinice · 15/01/2015 17:59

If she only passed a message on, to the person it was intended for, without extra details I really don't understand how that is gossiping.
The Errrm was because she didn't feel that she was the right person to discuss the issue with you and was leaving it up to the teacher. Or she hadn't a clue what the problem was.
Perhaps you will now have a word with the teacher in the morning before school, or find a mutual time to meet.
'The TA isn't in his year group or class so it must be something they have all been discussing in the Staff Room.'
You sound very unreasonable and a difficult parent to deal with, and someone who leaps to conclusions with no evidence.

Theboodythatrocked · 15/01/2015 17:59

She was probably asked to pass on the message and as not in his class didn't know why so said errrm.

Sure it's nothing to bad or as others say you would have had a phone call.

Re gossip I was a TA for years and of course children and parents are discussed in the staff room. It's not gossip it's sharing information which is an Ofsted requirement.

It's only gossip if it leaves the school or very sensitive info is shared inappropriatly.

You never know it might be nice news! Smile

Skatingfastonthinice · 15/01/2015 18:00

You are worried, so you are looking for someone else to snarl at? Ask your DS what happened today.

Original poster
mullingitovermuch · 15/01/2015 18:00

Hakluy - yep you may be right, I'm perhaps overthinking aren't I?
WowOoo - yes a vague idea would have saved some of the worry.

OP posts:
Annietheacrobat · 15/01/2015 18:00

Do you have concerns about your son as it does seem rather an over reaction?

Original poster
mullingitovermuch · 15/01/2015 18:03

Skatingfastonthinice - think you hit the nail on the head there, although slightly difficult to hear. I am a nice parent, never cause any problems and I'm never really called into school hence why I'm feeling a little off.

OP posts:
Yarp · 15/01/2015 18:04

Chill

And you might want to not jump to conclusions about school staff

HappyAgainOneDay · 15/01/2015 18:04

So the TA passed on a message. Doesn't the teacher know what a telephone is? She / he could have left a message if the OP wasn't in. The teacher could also have sent an e-mail as well or alternatively. Because this wasn't done, it looks as if it's not a desperate situation, OP. How can it be 'desperate' if your little boy is only 5? Please don't worry.

Blueandwhitelover · 15/01/2015 18:05

We do share about children in our classes , if you do have a difficult child a colleague might have a great idea to help but also (especially in the case of TAs) we might find ourselves in a different class and it is handy to know who might have difficulty, who might need extra attention, whose Mum has a different man every week etc. I am normally KS2 based but today covered a class for an hour in KS1.
I really do think you are overreacting, put it out of your mind until tomorrow. Has DS mentioned anything that might have happened today?

Yarp · 15/01/2015 18:05

Xpost

Original poster
mullingitovermuch · 15/01/2015 18:06

Annietheacrobat, yes we have severe food issues with him and I guess I am just paranoid that they are going to tell us off for raising a child who never eats and is a total food refuser, then in my mind I'm picturing a meeting with Teacher, Social Services etc and then my mind is just running away with myself!

OP posts:
MrsTawdry · 15/01/2015 18:09

pop and see her in the morning OP...I would.

Viviennemary · 15/01/2015 18:10

I think you are right to be irritated by this. Now you are worried about what the teacher has to say. A bit of a silly move by the TA or whoever told her to pass on the message.

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