School Teaching Assistant

[mullingitovermuch]

Not sure if I am BU but just picked my child up from After school Club. He is 5 years old. The Teaching Assistant who works there said
" His class teacher would like to meet with you."
So I said "Ok I'll just pop along and see her."
"Oh she has gone for the day." said the TA
"Is it something serious?" I reply
"Errrm." said the TA.
I now have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to meet with the teacher. Should the TA have even mentioned this to me? The TA isn't in his year group or class so it must be something they have all been discussing in the Staff Room.
Now I'm just feeling really annoyed at the gossipy TA and wish I didn't have to wait until tomorrow to find out what they heck is going on.
I'm overthinking this and assuming the worst - aren't I?

This sounds like it has a lot more to do with your own anxieties and paranoia than it has to do with the message you got from a TA.

Look at your child. Is he ok, does he have bruises, is he upset in any way, has he told you anything awful happened at school today? If not, then you really don't need to worry quite so much. If you choose to then that down to you and not the TA.

If there's food issues then maybe they want to chat to you about it to see if they can improve things for the sake of your child, but they aren't going to tell you off. They are not the Gestapo.

Is he really a 100% food refuser? DS used to refuse breakfast & sometimes lunch as well.

I don't see anything wrong with it, the teacher probably told her to mention it to you.

I'm a teacher & I wouldn't do this (send a message via a TA) without some indication of what it's about.

It's equally horrid when it's the other way round fwiw - the office will send a message like 'Can you call Mrs Briggs about Jimmy?' & you have NO idea whether Mrs B is wanting to check whether Jimmy attended his afterschool revision so she can clout him if he didn't, or if she's desperate to get mediaeval on your ass over something Jimmy said his mate said you said about him...

TA should either have said 'Oh it's about ___' or 'I'm sorry, she just asked me to pass a message on that she'd like you to get in touch'. She probably 'errm'ed because she suddenly realised she didn't know if she was supposed to preempt whatever the teacher needs to discuss, but it's really not helpful.

You are catastrophising which is my favourite hobby! Hope everything' a ok . Which am sure it will be.

Look on the bright side, the teacher might tell you that DC is getting a special prize for his work at a school assembly and thinks you might like to be there < eternal optimist >

The TA has likely been asked to pass on the message without knowing the actual details.

Of course teachers discuss pupils in the staff room, I'd think it rather strange if they didn't. That doesn't make it gossip or even something negative, eg "little Johnny did a marvellous picture this morning, he's quite accomplished for his age"

I'm a reception class teacher and I also wouldn't choose to pass on such a message via a TA at after school care so I sympathise. I definitely don't think it was ideal. It must be terribly unsettling to have to wonder all evening what it's all about. Really the TA telling you this evening hasn't benefitted you in any way, as I gather from your OP that you'll see the teacher in person in the morning so s/he can ask you to arrange a meeting then. This isn't something I'd complain to a school about though and I really don't think there's been gossip in the staff room. As others have said, information about pupils can be shared among colleagues for good reason. Best of luck.

I work at asc and yes if a teacher wanted to see a parent the following day then we would pass the message along. Don't see an issue here at all.

YANU. I think it there was a serious issue the school would contact you direct. Sounds rather unprofessional of TA, I reckon she has alarmed you unnecessarily.

WooWooOwl - My husband has just said the exact same thing. Does he seem ok? So probably I need to calm the frik down! Thanks to all the responses, This forum certainly give an OP clarity and lots of excellent differing opinions. Thanks again.

I'm a TA and will pass on messages to parents but I won't disclose why the teacher wants to see them as I'm not the teacher and it is also policy. I also wouldn't discuss the progress or anything to do with a pupil with a parent I'd ask them to speak to the teacher!

I don't see the problem with the teacher asking a TA she knew was going to see you to pass on a message. The TA could have said she didn't know what it was about but that's about the only thing I'd be a bit unsure about.

Yes the teacher could have phoned you but maybe she had no chance during the school day and had meetings straight after school. Maybe she knew she would have to rush off after school so asked the TA to pass on the message instead.

I'd suspend judgment as to whether it was an appropriate thing to do or not until you find out the reason the teacher wants to speak to you, it might be something completely innocuous so please try not to worry. I can see why this has stressed you out though one of the secretaries at my GP surgery once left a message on my answer machine on a Friday afternoon asking me to ring the surgery because there was a problem with my smear. I didn't get it until after the surgery had closed and I stewed about that all weekend and then found out on Monday that the sample was just inadequate.

The TA didn't just pass on a message did she? OP asked if it was anything serious & TA said "errrrm" which to me would infer yes. Why not just say "sorry, that's all the information I'm allowed to share I've got"?

Admittedly, I'm biased as the TA in my son's class is VERY indiscrete. I can't stand her

Mulling hope you managed to speak to the teacher today.

Annietheacrobat. Yes thank you I spoke to the teacher today and it was just about lack of effort/concentration and she was lovely about it all. Thank you for thinking of us. X

Probably just letting you know so you don't make plans or rush off

Glad to hear it.