Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To be late for parents evening

353 replies

42bunnytails · 12/01/2015 23:11

DD2 (Y9) has made an appointment with her German teacher.

She hates him, she's absolutely useless at German, gets put in detention and has made no progress in three years.

She's a straight A student at everything else

She's done it purely to see if I can keep a straight face, when she knows I think he's an idiot too.

It's not fair, she knows I had a fit of the giggles watching one of her class just wander off mid bollocking, leaving her parents to hear the end of it.

To make it worse you can see the French teacher trying not to giggle too

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 14/01/2015 17:02

She isn't willing to complain to the school and behave like an adult, evidently. Her last couple of posts have me wondering if she doesn't understand what people are saying or whether she's being deliberately obtuse.

Quitethewoodsman · 14/01/2015 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/01/2015 17:07

No-one is saying they don't ever say a disrespectful word about the school, OP. Though I think most people would have the maturity not to express those views in front of their DCs.

But your plan was to go to parents' evening and be disrespectful to the German teacher.

Of all the options you could have chosen to address the issues you perceive are preventing your daughter from achieving in this subject, you chose the most childish and disrespectful one.

You are spectacularly missing the point on this, even after 10 pages of people all saying the same thing.

Quitethewoodsman · 14/01/2015 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flossyfloof · 14/01/2015 17:18

Op, do you think anyone who has contributed an answer has a point? you have asked if you are being unreasonable and everyone (I think) has said yes. Do you think there might be some truth in that, or do you still completely disagree and think that you are 100%?

IloveJudgeJudy · 14/01/2015 17:21

I have to say, having read nearly the whole thread, I do have a bit of sympathy with what the OP is saying, but not the way that she is saying it. DS2 has a science teacher who has also given DS2 a few detentions. DS2 has never had a detention from another teacher; he is now in Y11 and in top set for all subjects. This teacher took a dislike to DS1 who was no angel at all, I know, but this teacher mistook DS1 for another boy with almost the same name who was even more poorly behaved than DS1. He spoke to me about DS1 at a parents' evening, calling DS1 by this other boy's name and telling me about DS1's misbehaviour. This behaviour had been carried out by the other boy, not DS1.

DD also had the misfortune to have this same science teacher and now DS2 has him. The school now wish to give DS2 an after-school detention, based on behaviour points dished out by this particular teacher. Up until now I have always backed the school on everything. I have asked the behaviour points to be investigated. I am not giving my permission for DS2 to have the detention unless it can be proved to my satisfaction that DS2 has misbehaved. I am still waiting (a month later at least) for the school to get back to me. DS2's house leader and his form tutor cannot believe that he has these behaviour points. They are only from this one particular teacher so I can believe that one teacher is so incompetent, but as he is a science teacher it is much more difficult to get rid of him.

Flossyfloof · 14/01/2015 17:30

A much more measured attitude, Judge. It is poor that the teacher mistook one child for another and worrying that you feel they took an instant dislike to your child. Very reasonable to ask for behaviour points to be investigated. Why my school adopted a new computerised system huge numbers of kids were racking up points for not being in tutor time, they assured me they were - and I found that teachers were not being arsed to find the actual reason the misdemeanour might fall under, but were just clicking the first box. Pathetic.
However, these things don't necessarily add up to a teacher being incompetent to teach. ( Admittedly, doesn't sound great, though!).

Quitethewoodsman · 14/01/2015 17:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SuburbanRhonda · 14/01/2015 17:40

Quite, yes, I think we should give up.

Even if the OP did admit she IBU, there's no way she would admit it now.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/01/2015 17:54

I am still wondering if all of 42bunnytails' dd's detentions were for not doing her homework, and whether she truly is, as the OP stated 'a little angle (sic)' in class. Hmm

thatsn0tmyname · 14/01/2015 17:59

It's always interesting meeting the parents at parents evening. Suddenly, everything becomes clear......

QueenTilly · 14/01/2015 18:27

Icimoi

What on earth? Of course they do!

RufusTheReindeer

ici

Who said that?????

I'm rubbish at other languages, but I'm pretty good at English!!

I said it. There is no magical difference between one's native language and furrin languages. The difference is exposure. The native English speakers I've met with what I would call a genuine blank spot for languages were people who would have difficulty getting full marks on a language competency test for the purposes of UK immigration. The rest had somehow developed the idea as a child that not being able to become fluent in a language over the course of school meant they were crap. Well, no. To achieve fluency in a second language, a figure of 1000 hours (goes up or down depending on how different the langauge is to your first language) is generally quoted. And that's 1000 hours of being engaged in learning, not in staring into space. ikindalikelanguages.com/blog/how-much-time-is-it-realistic-to-learn-a-language-in/

I would be less adamant about this, but about four years ago, I decided I was going to try and become fluent in languages other than English, despite the fact that I have a disability that means I have never truly achieved all round fluency in English. For example, my aural comprehension is shit. If you say "have you got the carrots yet", I can hear "have you seen the Monty Python Parrot sketch?" I've had hearing tests, and my sound detection is perfect. It's just how my brain identifies sounds. It also affects my speech and makes phones calls to call centres a nightmare. As a child, my mother took it for granted any living language was pointless for me, and had me doing Latin instead.

I can now read novels in a second, and I am working on a third and fourth language. I'll admit that there are significant grade differences in my GCSE/A-level/degree marks between the exams that are reading/writing and those that are speaking/listening comprehension, but there were back when I took GCSE English. My spoken presentation for that was two grades lower than all my written coursework, then.

I am always going to have to put in more work than other people, just like I had to put in more work to become comprehensible in English outside a family setting. I didn't pick up how to speak naturally, and wouldn't have done in any language, wherever I was born. That "blank spot" is there, and it is an issue that is always there. But it gets my goat when people without a single issue bemoan their lack of talent and tell me I'm a "natural linguist" today because they assume that someone good at languages doesn't need to work and that I'm not working because they didn't see me doing it.

As a language student, I now know lots of others. We all work at it. And all the ones who have particular issues had it in their native language. Your native language isn't magic. You had more exposure to it. The dyslexic people were dyslexic in English, the people who needed speech therapy as a child have to think carefully about sound reproduction and bad habits, etc.

QueenTilly · 14/01/2015 18:54

The difference between adults and children in language learning is over-hyped, too.

www.newscientist.com/article/mg21128224.000-age-no-excuse-for-failing-to-learn-a-new-language.html#.VLa6N2anzMI

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationopinion/10315238/Are-children-really-better-at-foreign-language-learning.html

Adults and children learn differently, and adults rarely have the same level of burning need for their second language that they did for their first language, back when they needed to tell mummy and daddy that their leg hurt or that they hated sprouts. Wanting to be polite on holiday or have a job opportunity just doesn't compare. Wink

I accept that people have talents, but talents are a spectrum. It's not on/off like a computer. It's like a tap. Full-on to completely off. If you speak one language fluently, yours isn't off completely.

RufusTheReindeer · 14/01/2015 21:49

queen

You've explained that beautifully, but I do understand that as with a lot of stuff practice makes perfect (ishGrin)

I also realise that it's the exposure to a language which really makes a difference, friend of mine had good french and moved to France and had to move it up a notch!!!

It's just that I took it to mean that people who can't do a foreign language struggle with their own...and obviously you didn't mean that at all

So you'll just have to take my word for it that I speak beautiful English....just can't read it at all Grin

ilovesooty · 14/01/2015 21:56

Exposure really does make a difference - it's sink or swim then.

A friend of mine spent six years learning Spanish and is currently travelling round Central / South America. She's come on leaps and bounds in a matter of months.

I speak Dutch and my competence improves the longer I spend there. I think it's a shame how little attempt as a nation we make with other languages and as we see from this thread much of this indifference starts in school. We assume people will speak English. In the Netherlands I'm told that most students in high school areexpected to study languages including their own.

ilovesooty · 14/01/2015 21:57

That should read several languages, sorry.

42bunnytails1 · 14/01/2015 22:02

ThatsN0tMyName meeting teachers is very interesting too

ilovesooty · 14/01/2015 22:14

I expect if you're planning to mock and giggle at them it's fascinating.

I think we've decided that trying to get you to reflect on the prevailing opinion on this thread is a lost cause.

BlessedAndGr8fulNoInLaws4Xmas · 14/01/2015 22:31

OP it's one thing to voice your opinions within your own 4 walls.

Role modelling disrespectful behaviour outside of your own home is another matter.

42bunnytails1 · 14/01/2015 22:40

No, I intend to have pleasant, positive conversations with most of them. One I need to say a big thank you to (on behalf of both DDs) and one conversation is a going to be very interesting indeed.

The only thorn in the ointment is the aforementioned gentleman.

For he is the only dept. who has so few takers for GCSE that he has made appointments for pupils who wish never to darken his door again.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 14/01/2015 22:41

I am still wondering if all of 42bunnytails' dd's detentions were for not doing her homework, and whether she truly is, as the OP stated 'a little angle (sic)' in class. And I am repeating the question in the hope (vain, I suspect) of an answer.

ilovesooty · 14/01/2015 22:45

DD2 (Y9) has made an appointment with her German teacher

For he is the only dept. who has so few takers for GCSE that he has made appointments for pupils who wish never to darken his door again

So which is the correct version?

echt · 14/01/2015 22:51

What is wrong with making appointments with those who don't wish to follow the subject next year? There may well be valuable things to be said at such a meeting. For example, plenty of times students give up on a subject, mistakenly feeling they aren't good at it, and the opportunity to put this right, to congratulate them on effort, possibly show how the skills they developed in one subject will stand them in good stead for another. In any case, it's none of your business.

By your tone, OP, you appear to regard it risible that this teacher should do this, yet you are doing it, making an appointment for a subject your DD is not following through. An appointment you've already made plain is so you can run private joke at his expense.

I hope he sees through it tells you to leave. I would.

echt · 14/01/2015 22:53

A private joke.

Sentences went bonkers there.

echt · 14/01/2015 22:54

This is what comes of typing after slicing finger ends on a mandolin (cooking, not musical).

Swipe left for the next trending thread