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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put 1 year old in nursery for a break

116 replies

findingherfeet · 12/01/2015 09:57

DD (3) goes to nursery one full day and one morning a week.

DS is ten months. After his first birthday i would like him to do one morning (4 hours) to basically give me a break - do paperwork without a baby crying or DD demanding my pen etc

I'm tired, he doesn't sleep well.

I'm not returning to work for probably another year... My DH thinks he's a bit young and as I'm at home....

We have very little family support and are not wealthy but could manage this as DD has just got her 11 hours entitlement.

Am I being a demanding WAG style monster?....

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 12/01/2015 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnowWhiteAteTheApple · 12/01/2015 10:01

I wouldn't be happy if I was your DH to pay childcare when you are at home to provide that yourself and presumably that's the deal when you quit work.

How much paperwork can you possibly have? Even if you pay everything yourself rather than by DD it can't possibly take a morning a week.

wishmiplass · 12/01/2015 10:01

Completely reasonable. Go for it. x

museumum · 12/01/2015 10:04

IMO how much say your dh gets in this depends how much he does. If he's home for bath and bedtime and does plenty sole childcare at the weekend then you need to come to an agreement about what's best for your ds.
If your dh won't/can't take some of the strain in the evenings or give you some "time off" at the weekend then IMO he forfeits his say in the matter - if that's the case then if you can afford it do it.

wishmiplass · 12/01/2015 10:04

So the OP isn't entitled to any time off Snow? Presumably, as a SAHP, you aren't entitled to a break? You have no idea how demanding the OP's DS is.

I'd be happy for my DP to book our DS into nursery (and pay for it) so he could have a break one morning a week. Yes, we decided he'd be the SAHP, but it doesn't mean he's a slave to it!

PickleSarnie · 12/01/2015 10:05

It's 4 hours, not 4 days. You can afford it then I would absolutely do it.

Having little family support makes a huge difference. I know people who are all judgey about childcare yet have their parents to help out constantly. If four hours of time to yourself makes you happier then go for it.

MrsPurchase · 12/01/2015 10:06

Completely reasonable to want some time to yourself, I'd say go for it.

I had planned to go back to work at 1 year post DS, which I did.

However, I put him in nursery quite literally as he hit 11 months, as I was on my knees with a combination of PND and fatigue. AND I didn't even have another DC to be responsible for, so I take my hat off to you for having two to care for most of the time.

WanderingTrolley1 · 12/01/2015 10:06

Yanbu.

If you can afford it, I don't see the issue. You need some you time.

Stubbed · 12/01/2015 10:07

Gosh. Mine were both in nursery for one morning a week at 7 months old, while I was still on maternity leave.

Initially for a break, go to supermarket, dentist, get new bras measured, all the things you can't do easily with one or two children, but later on, so I could do some exercise and I used to go for a 3 hour bike ride, lovely.

Seriously though. It meant leaving them 3 full days a week at 12 or 13 months when I went back to work was easy. They were settled, I was settled. Much easier to start at 7 months before they get separation anxiety. Go for it.

Royalsighness · 12/01/2015 10:10

YANBU! Do it! It's good for him as well as you, also when does your free childcare place start? Are you entitled to it?

Sending a child I nursery is great for their development and seeing other children would be lovely for them. When I go on mat leave I will be sending DS1 who will be 2 to nursery for 1 day a week, i will pay for that out of my maternity pay.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 12/01/2015 10:14

YANBU, I wish we could afford to do this. I know someone who puts her DS into nursery for 2 full days so she has a break (she doesn't work) which I think is a bit OTT but a morning seems fine.

ChristmasEva50 · 12/01/2015 10:14

I would go for it. The alternative would be to do your paperwork on a Saturday whilst dh takes the children out for a while. 4 hours for paperwork and a short nap for yourself so 9.30-4.30 should suffice! Then on Sundays you can split the childcare half and half.

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/01/2015 10:15

Why would you be unreasonable.

A few hours to rest or meet a friend for coffee would do yku the world of good. It's ok for husbands they go to work and get a munch break.

You don't.

Iwillorderthefood · 12/01/2015 10:16

Do it. I am n number three baby and we cannot afford it. DH says he helps as he works from home but the reality is he does sweet FA. I am exhausted and increasingly resentful. Go for it.

wishmiplass · 12/01/2015 10:16

A munch break! Oh, I do love that!

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/01/2015 10:17
Blush

ruddy auto correct.
LUNCH break

WhatWouldFlopDo · 12/01/2015 10:17

I did it. DD was older, nearly 2. It's my morning off today, I'm making a cheese pie with no toddler assistance.

ANewMe2015 · 12/01/2015 10:17

I'd be tempted to leave a child that young with a childminder nearby either your house than the nnursery instead.

At just one visit a week they will have forgotten where they are going and may be upset at leaving you all over again. Many nurseries/cm will only take babies/toddlers for 2 x a week for that reason.

Alternatively - could you husband take them both out say Saturday mornings? That way you could sleep/whatever and they get some time with dad. My husband used to do this at a local farm and really helped.

Roonerspism · 12/01/2015 10:18

I'm a better mum when I get a break.

Just do it. Good for everyone!

If DH is against it, leave both kids with him for a week and see how he copes!

Aeroflotgirl · 12/01/2015 10:18

Go for it, ignore snow, if you can afford it than great.

ColdTeaAgain · 12/01/2015 10:18

If you can afford it then why not? I know not all 1 year olds are the same but my DD started at just over 1 and after she settled in (couple of weeks) she loved it. They do far more activities with her than I'd ever get round to at home, she has a great time :) I'd even go for a whole day if you can stretch to it, give yourself a chance to catch up on things...It's amazing how many cups of tea you can drink jobs you can get done without the little ones around!

HedgehogsDontBite · 12/01/2015 10:19

My DS has been going to nursery since he was 1 so I can get a break. Occasionally I use the time to meet a friend but most of the time I come home and sleep.

crazylady12 · 12/01/2015 10:19

If you can afford it go for it it will also be good for him my dd is 12 months she's hard work but as a single mum of two I could never afford it but if I could I'd be doing more than four hours

Nolim · 12/01/2015 10:19

Go for it. Or tell dp that the is looking after dd every saturday morning while you do paperwork, have a coffee with friends etc.

Lindy2 · 12/01/2015 10:21

I'm a childminder and I have had several children who are booked into my care so that mum or dad has a break for a while or can get other stuff done. It is perfectly acceptable and quite usual. Before my daughter started preschool I also used a childminder friend to have her for one morning a week when I wasn't working. Everyone needs a bit of time to themselves sometimes.

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