To not let DD demand money with menaces?

[IAmAllImportant]

DD is 9 and is pretty obsessed with loom bands!

DP is 50 and pretty obsessed with rugby!

So far, so driving me crazy good!

One day DD asked if she could take her loom bands to the rugby club, so she had something to do. The kids have all been going to the club since they were tiny, so are pretty much free range!

It took quite some time for me to realise she had been selling her loom bands to the big hairy arsed rugby players. All fine, all fairly drunk good natured!

The next time we were at the club she did it. Again, fine! She told me after she waited till the men had had a drunk and were 'being silly', before selling them! My thoughts were that Alan Sugar would be proud!

We have come again and told her she can bring her loom bands and do them but not harrass people! Not really sure she was actually harassing people but just in case!

She had brought them, showed off over the £2 she made selling a couple! Then been rude to the steward/barman, saying 'See,I told you I could sell them' in a mocking tone of voice! She has been put in time out, loom bands surgically removed and locked in the car! She has also been made to apologise!

She thinks I am being unreasonable! What do you think?

Kewcumber, that is exactly what it's like, minus the pro team!

I assumed from the OP that your DD had misinterpreted "You can't" (an instruction) as "You can't" (a challenge), which you have now confirmed. I'm autistic, so I have to work hard on interpretation myself. I agree that this sort of thing is a laugh the first time but more tacky and annoying on subsequent occasions, although Young Depeche thought it totally OK to sell her grandmother's own tap water back to her! If your DD has similar difficulties, perhaps she needs to find ways to vary things up a bit to keep people engaged. It sounds like she's very confident, active and chatty, which is great, but maybe she relies too heavily on topics and behaviours which entertained people the first time because they've been "proven" to work, IYSWIM. I think the line between social butterfly and insufferable bore is actually much finer than people suggest, and if she can get the hang of this now she will have a lot less stress at secondary whether or not popularity becomes important to her.

My sympathies on the hyperactivity, though! The ebay idea is very entrepreneurial, stays on the right side of begging, and I'm sure she'll get a huge kick out of selling unwanted toys for amounts of money most adults would find disappointing. There are so many useful skills which she won't realise she's learning - she can look at the way advertisers display and photograph their products to give a good impression, work out what to put in the description, and find out from you which tactics are acceptable when trying to close a sale. (We had a thread just last week about people begging on Facebook "free stuff" pages.) Maybe she would enjoy some of those TV shows about how people get scammed - they make for brag-worthy "grown up" viewing while also being educational, teaching us how to be safe with our money and possessions, and letting us explore our feelings around theft and coercion without having to be involved in anything nasty. That might give a context she is hopefully unlikely to be aware of from her own experiences and help her to understand how the behaviour of others informs the judgements people make about her. I think I'm being a bit overenthusiastic, but it is a shame that there's nothing like this in the curriculum.

I think you have the ! and . keys mixed up, OP, either that or you type like a hysterical tweenager.

depeche, what a long and well thought out post. Thank you for taking the time and trouble. I do think DD does repeat what she has previously seen as successful behaviours. At home she will often do something that makes us laugh, then do it again. She is baffled that we don't necessarily find it funny a second time.

I am going away this afternoon until Friday. I think I will get her sorting things she no longer plays with, get her to take photos on her phone, research new price and decide realistic selling price. Then we can put things on the local buying and selling pages next weekend.

By contrast, what a nasty and short post by grocklebox!!!

GlitterBelle
that made me smile too.
OP have you read Glitter's post, the other poster didn't call you yummy mumny.

Anyway on the plus side you don't have to worry about Uni fees or house deposit. Your dd will sort it out all! Tbh i like the sound of her.And at least she doesnt ask money for 'challenges'. She does pure selling :P

Uni fees will be paid by the NHS, if things remain as they are! Yes, she does have it all mapped out!

Yes, I read glitters post and re/read what had been said!

I'll live!