Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

About morning baby groups (light-hearted).

143 replies

KitKat1985 · 09/01/2015 11:59

So I am trying to get out of the house more with DD (nearly 4 months). I'm trying to do some more baby groups and really struggling. Why oh why oh why do so many of them start at 9 or 10am? Good lord if DD is up several times in the night and is having a grumpy morning it can be nearly lunchtime before I even manage to get dressed. On the occasions I do make it (late obviously, with still wet hair) the room seemed filled with well dressed women (with hair that they have even managed to style before going out), calmly sitting and drinking a fruit tea whilst their babies lie next to them in perfectly co-ordinated outfits. How are they managing it?!? Why can't I manage it? AIBU in wanting the groups to start late-morning at the earliest, or do I, as I strongly suspect, need to just sort my damn morning routine out?

OP posts:

MrsMook · 10/01/2015 08:53

My DCs have night owl body clocks like DH, so they'd be catching up on their broken nights of feeds after 8am, and I needed that sleep in too. I don't think Ds1 was so bad when he was younger, but I really struggled with SAD the winter he turned 1. He'd already hit tantrum mode, so by the time he was up, dressed, and fed, it was late morning, then there was his nap. Then a late lunch and another nap. By the time we were ready for a baby group it was 3pm and going dark!

With Ds2 it was worse. By the time we woke up, did feeds, went through Ds1's breakfast tantrum, fed Ds2, battled through the clothes tantrum, did another feed... I also had SPD for months after so getting them ready was painful and tiring.

Getting them ready for nursery is much, much easier. Dredge them out of bed and shove on clothes while they're too dopey to resist and get them out, and delegate feeding to nursery. I'm dreading September when I'll have to feed Ds1 before work! Think I'll be the one with the pajamaed toddler in the buggy on my days off.

Allegrogirl · 10/01/2015 09:05

Both my babies were up 3-4 times a night and once sleeping through woke at 5.00 and didn't go back to sleep again. With DD1 I got very anxious and I can't sleep during the day anyway so might as well got to a group or activity to take my mind off things.

I managed to be clean with a bit of cover up under my eyes but that was it. I don't remember rooms full of immaculate mums. I was so tired I may not have noticed.

Groups aren't compulsory so if you're rather get your head down at morning nap time then do it. You have years of toddler groups, swimming, dance lessons etc ahead of you.

irregularegular · 10/01/2015 10:10

At this age (and longer!) groups are definitely for your benefit, not baby's, so no one should feel bad about their baby missing out. I had an awful sleeper, waking up multiple times a night forever and not sleeping reliably until about school age. Personally, however sleep deprived I was I felt better for getting out of the house and being with other people. Work was my saviour! But everyone is different - if you'd rather stay at home then do!

squizita · 10/01/2015 10:13

Sock matcher my local new baby club is looking for a new organiser but it's stipulated they MUST be free early afternoon.
As a long term organiser of groups I have little time for the "but that's when I can charitably run things" pearl clutching (not saying you did that but I've run into people running brilliant clubs with no one there then blaming stakeholders) ... If it's a service/kindness it needs to be accessible. I've had to not help run things I really wanted to when working 9-5 because I couldn't make a convenient time for those I'd invited.

Ida YY to the emotional baggage. I live next to the tube, drive, have 2 prams and 2 slings. I breastfeed and baby pooes predictably. But I have mild anxiety ... bloody hell it floors you!! When I try I'm out all day, but the odd day I'm so daunted or frightened it doesn't make sense! The irony is the BEST thing is going out and I easily pop out yo 9 am clinic or clubs on a good day.

Minesril · 10/01/2015 10:18

No nappies in your little bag Minesril?

Haha knew I forgot something! I can indeed stuff a nappy and pack of wipes in too. He's only ever poo'd in public once though and he's six months! I think I'm well overdue a tsunami in the middle of nowhere.

I find that I need to go to baby groups just to stem off the boredom. While my son sleeps at night, he only sleeps about an hour in total during the day (in no way am I complaining about this!). I spend ages playing with him, reading to him, playing music etc but I think he also gets bored being at home most of the day. He needs to see other people as much as I do!

squizita · 10/01/2015 10:27

My top tip btw for emotional baggage is to comment on their FB or arrange to go with a friend. Hijack my anxiety lol! I would then feel obliged to go and feel better.

But I must say I am a free form "trip out to the park with a chum and their kid" type ... weird as I've always been a club person (started helping with a tiddler club when I was 14, worked with kids/schools all my life and all the clubs that entails).

squizita · 10/01/2015 10:29

Minesril decant wipes into a zip lock bag for extra space saving! A full bag of huggiE wipes bulks out my bag too much so I decant a handful and take 2 nappies. Compact!

squizita · 10/01/2015 10:35

Gennz unfortunately I'm letting my anxiety spoil some days. But I do go out looking relatively smart :) to one regular playgroup, coffee with friends, pub with dh (daytime naice pub lol) shops etc! Out at least 2 in 3 days and DEFFO shower and wear make up lol.

mrsnec · 10/01/2015 10:37

My dd is 3 months. I haven't joined any groups yet and do struggle for various reasons to get out and about. We have a fabulous new centre open nearby -ish with activities at all sorts of different times and they advertised suitable from about 6 weeks.

When I enquired about joining she said the youngest member currently was 10 months. It does cover a wide area and is the only one of its kind (not in the UK) so I was surprised by that. I don't think it's because there aren't that many babies around it must be because any younger and the babies are still very dependant. It doesn't worry me too much that I'm not doing anything with her yet but I would like to meet other mums. I think I might wait until she's 6 months but I was a bit disappointed there were no other babies her age in the group I think I would have been more motivated to join otherwise. I think the reasons you state op are the reasons there are no younger ones in the group.

sockmatcher · 10/01/2015 12:31

Squizita. I organise meet ups and groups now to suit me. Ive rearranged my family too many times. If others want a stab feel free.

When I went back to work I organised Saturday groups.

squizita · 10/01/2015 12:38

Sock Wasn't having a stab.
But it isn't always as simple as "organise one" or "but that's when they happen" as your own experience of sleep deprivation shows.
When working with groups, I've had several people want to run the group and couldn't do it when anyone could make it. Honestly this happened: empty room!
I'm not suggesting anyone should put their family second for a moment. Just thar sometimes running a group when no one can make it (not talking about your group but the one in my experience that failed) is lots of work for no benefit. And sometimes I would battle with "but that's MY CLUB which I run then..." and no one else allowed to run it.

squizita · 10/01/2015 12:41

...fwiw - the attendees at some things were quite vulnerable. So not just a playgroup.
The organiser couldn't organise things just to suit themselves - equally wouldn't ask them to put their family second - meaning if it got too much they had to decide if they could run their club.

TeaPleaseBob · 10/01/2015 12:58

My lo is 19 months now and I find morning groups much easier. When she was little I was still trying to get my head around organising myself and naby in morning. Had often been up a few times though the night and naps were at awkward times (thankfully she sleeps in pram to so sometimes on way to group).
Now she sleeps through most nights, I can get us both dressed quickly and we abandon house in any state to get some company at groups (we're by no means on time for every froup though!). I find myself stressed every know and then but try to remember it's just meeting for tea and babies to chew some different toys. I'm sure even the immaculate looking mums have stressful mornings too!

LetticeKnollys · 10/01/2015 13:01

I wouldn't have managed without DS's bouncy chair. He sits watching me shower and blow dry my hair in it.

TerrifiedMothertobe · 10/01/2015 13:05

Once baby is sleeping through it will be easy to make 9am, and you will be woken at 6/7am!

LetticeKnollys · 10/01/2015 13:05

I also buy 2 piece dungaree sets for his clothes because they're very easy and practical but give the appearance of making an effort!

ClockwiseCat · 10/01/2015 15:47

YANBU. They are aimed at mums of more than one. I only ever got to the afternoon ones

WildFlowersAttractBees · 10/01/2015 20:23

I am another one who just took the baby around the house in her chair with me... shower, dressed, hair and make up etc. I laid out clothes for us the night before and always packed her bag the night before too.

We still don't make it some days though .

80schild · 10/01/2015 21:18

I had the reverse problem with getting out of the house - DS was always an early riser so I was usually up in the mornings and I had to wash as quickly as possible because he had a tendency to cry / cause trouble if left alone. It was really hard work but I was in denial about it for a long time. I am so glad I am out of the worse of it.

Parker231 · 11/01/2015 19:59

The 9am baby groups were a good trial run for my going back to work when DT's had to be dropped of at nursery for 7.40am!

HmmAnOxfordComma · 11/01/2015 22:37

Well exactly, Parker, as I said up thread, in the bad old days of only a decade ago, you only got 4 mths mat leave, so most Mums going back to work with a 3ish month old would be going to work on little to no sleep! Getting to a baby group for 10 on my day off was a darn sight easier than childminders for 7.45 and onto work for 8.30...

wyamc · 11/01/2015 23:26

I think when they get a bit older some of them wake up at 5am. You have no option but to get up too. By 9am they're climbing the walls. I used to find it easier to take mine out every morning then they'd be relatively calm to mill about at home in the afternoon. It was exhausting but worked for me.

LillianGish · 12/01/2015 10:05

I totally feel your pain (and also the pain of those who talk about the dark hours that drag from 3pm to bedtime). When my dd was born my mum's first and best piece of advice was to always get myself ready as soon as I got up - on the basis that it would never happen otherwise. I used to put dd in the rockatot, take her in the bathroom with me 2 minute shower, rock her with my foot while I got my make up on and did my hair and I always picked a nice outfit the night before - never just mummy clothes - because I knew (well actually my mum knew) that however rubbish I was feeling I would feel a million times better if I looked like myself! Always had the changing bag packed and ready to go so that as soon as dd was ready I was ready too if that make sense. At the time I was living in a third-floor apartment with no lift and the baby group was on the other side of town. I used to feel like I'd scaled Everest getting to those groups, but I was always on cloud nine when I walked home afterwards. DCs are 13 and 11 now looking back those days have a rosy glow - (I'd forgotten the 3pm to bedtime drag!). It's so tough to adjust at the start, but it's also such a lovely time. Just wanted to say don't beat yourself up if you don't get out just enjoy this time anyway because it's gone in a heartbeat and as soon as you get the hang of it there's a new stage to get to grips with.

NAR4 · 12/01/2015 12:36

Your DC is only 4 months and from what you have said I'm guessing doesn't insist on anything like a 5 am start. I would say at this point more sleep in the morning, if that's what you get, is far more important than turning up at the start of toddler group looking pristine.

Def agree with earlier posts;
Set out yours and baby's clothes night before
Shower and wash hair night before
Possibly style hair in the morning while dh is still home (grow it to be a quick brush and go style)
Have a baby bag packed and ready the night before

Alternatively find a pm group

summerdreams · 12/01/2015 13:10

Loving this thread my lo is 5 months havnt attempted a baby group yet but I'm dreading a hospital appointment at 9 tomorrow morning and I'm taking tips making a list as we speak aslso no matter how long I spend dressing my son before I've got the camera to take a picture his tops rolled up trouser are rolling up socks are off the only thing that ever stays in place are all in ones and dungarees are brilliant.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6