About morning baby groups (light-hearted).

[KitKat1985]

So I am trying to get out of the house more with DD (nearly 4 months). I'm trying to do some more baby groups and really struggling. Why oh why oh why do so many of them start at 9 or 10am? Good lord if DD is up several times in the night and is having a grumpy morning it can be nearly lunchtime before I even manage to get dressed. On the occasions I do make it (late obviously, with still wet hair) the room seemed filled with well dressed women (with hair that they have even managed to style before going out), calmly sitting and drinking a fruit tea whilst their babies lie next to them in perfectly co-ordinated outfits. How are they managing it?!? Why can't I manage it? AIBU in wanting the groups to start late-morning at the earliest, or do I, as I strongly suspect, need to just sort my damn morning routine out?

I have baths in the morning - when DD was tiny she would sit in her bouncy chair and I would play peepo while washing my hair. Much less stressful than trying to do it while she napped.

YANBU, my son is 18 weeks and I managed along to my first class this morning. Poor wee one teething and had a bad cough recently, awake most of the night so I'm very tired. It was a miracle I made it for 9.30. Hopefully get easier and there was definetly a lot of other new mothers today with that dazed, haven't had a sleep for a decade look! Stay strong xxx

I have a 15 week old and find the same.

I'm very lucky, living in London most sessions run at another church hall or whatever later in the day.

This was the routine that sort of worked for me.
7.30am Feed - BF sitting up in bed
7.30am DH brings me breakfast [porridge in bed] and jumps in shower
8.00am - resist urge to go back to sleep and have quick shower leaving baby asleep in cot or on bed for DH to entertain while he dresses.

Decide which groups are important to you. Skip the rest and get dressed at lunchtime. Claim you took the baby swimming instead or you've started your own "forest school" . You'll be back at work before you know it.

Oh and the thing that really stops me going to one local centre is, even though it is the local children's centre it's the least breastfeeding friendly place in the universe. I go there for clinic: you're expected to BF in an empty/unused office space full of spare furniture not the waiting area (in case of dads feeling uncomfortable basically) and even feeding with a scarf in the main area, the chairs are tiny cramped plastic things. Of course this whole centre is plastered with breast is best posters... but you're treated like a pariah if you do.
So I don't do ANY clubs or playgroups there.
The health visitors and midwives were a bit dismayed by the layout too - they hold clinics there but the centre isn't 'theirs' IYSWIM.

If I can't get my booby out somewhere, I can't go. DD feeds every 2 hours and is a slow grower as it is (and a mean hungry) ...

Another plus of a morning group is when they get a bit bigger charging round a church hall in the morning means a good afternoon nap. Which means more time for me to have a break!

Well done for having washed hair

Treadsoftly DH waves at us at 5.30am when he leaves ...

In all seriousness it's just worry I'll literally freeze my tits off in January, or will end up stared at, are the main things that limit me out and about.
Westfield's coffee shops make a big fat profit off me with their lovely warm seats and excellent nappy changing... bad mum bringing up baby a shallow shopper.
I go to a lentil weavy NCT club too :) :) the church hall recently got a new thermostat fitted LOL!

what the hell squizita! They stop you from breastfeeding in certain places?! Have you pointed out that it is illegal for them to stop you form feeding in main areas?

Yanbu!! I also have a 4month old and he is dc2.

Dc1 goes to preschool at 12:30 so it would be really unfair to drag him along to morning baby groups. I manage a walking group and a music group which have 1pm starts. I had ds1 at numerous morning baby groups, swimming, sensory and coffee mornings etc. I just can't get organised enough now. Dp also works shifts so I need to keep dc quiet downstairs til after 10am to let him sleep. Then I begin getting us all showered upstairs, by that time it's time for lunch and nursery drop off. It's a rush to be ready in time. It's actually really starting to get me down that it's impossible for me to get out the house before 12noon!!

I think the thing is you are focused on your very small window of experience. And I do agree that it might not be great for you at the moment.

But:

• they don't start late morning because, once you start weaning, you probably want to be at home for lunch;
• older babies and toddlers tend to have an afternoon nap after lunch;
• people with older children are out already and also have to be ready to do school pick up.

Are there any groups focused on very young babies in your area? These often start int eh afternoon.

I'd also suggest taking the baby into the bathroom in a bouncy chair whilst you shower, like a previous poster.

YABabitU.

When ds was 4 months old, I had to go back to work - maternity pay only used to be 16 wks (13 yrs ago), so you took 4 wks before and 12 after and then you had to leave or go back to work...

If you went back f/t or p/t, then you were used to being up and out of the house by 7.30 am to drop at childminders or nursery then carry on to work, so on non-work days, it was pretty much the same timings. You'd be well ready for a group or something to do by 10am!

Oh, and ds never slept through the night until 5 years of age; still had to get up for work though!!

OP you are definitely not BU!

It is a struggle getting out the door with a small baby.

I do agree with other posters that the early 9am suit women with older kids, they can attend the group after the school run.

My LO is nearly a year old, have been back at work at few months.
During my maternity leave I did not attend one single baby group- I did baby swimming & baby cinema and would meet up with friends locally for a coffee or walk around the park.

I could not be arsed with the prospect of baby groups at that young age- it's much more for the mums than anything, plus it can all get rather competitive, from what I've heard from friends.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself, chill out and enjoy time with your little one.

My daughter is 4 months. I much prefer morning groups as I can keep her awake before we go and she can either nap there or when we get back, but if it's an afternoon group she might be mid nap when we need to go out. We started groups really early (3 weeks) and I was a mess at first but got used to it. Saying that, I am not hugely proud and my daughter will sometimes go to the group in her pyjamas if I haven't had time- better her than me!!

A morning group is way better for me. Dc3 sleeps 9-10 then we go to a group, home for lunch at 12, sleep 12.30-2.30 and then pick up the other dcs. I wouldn't be able to make any afternoon groups with naps and school pick up.

Take the baby in its pajamas. A babygros is a babygro anytime of day, don't let anyone tell you it's a 'sleep suit'.

sqizita I'd have to make a very vocal complaint about that Children's Centre. WTAF are they thinking with Dad's would be uncomfortable?

Waggamamma, do you have any morning groups local to the nursery where you could stay for lunch before dropping DC1 off at his nursery session. It would keep the kids out of your DH's way in the morning and perhaps make it easier to get to nursery once or twice a week.

I know a toddler group at a community association where last academic year a couple of carers were doing this with the children - packed lunches though.

fucking light hearted

I find it rêally easy to get out of the house, but that's because my son is possibly the easiest baby in the world: has pretty much always slept through the night, feeds pretty much on schedule every four hours, etc.

My husband has to get up early to go to work so he makes the first feed for the baby and brings it to us in bed. First feed for baby at around 7.

I'm another one who seconds having a bouncy chair in the bathroom. I've always showered/bathed with him in the same room. I took a lot of showers when heavily pregnant (overdue in a very hot July) and I think he remembered the sound when he was a newborn giggle if you must and now he's used to it and it's a part of the morning routine (bath for mummy at 8.30!)

Also, there's really not a lot you need to take out with you. Bottle, Infacol, muslin square, bib, purse, phone, keys all fit in my little radley bag with baby in the sling!

Younger older children probably need collecting from nursery at around noon.

Everybody/household is different. My babies never slept past 6.30am and even morning groups seemed a long way off.

I shower at night after dd is asleep usually. Being winter I am not stinky in the morning I did forget to brush my teeth one day this week though and a babywipe round the gob works fine for both of us lol! Not the same one though!

It will pass.

Soon you'll be cursing groups for not starting at 7am because you've already been up for three hours, had two breakfasts and are starting to go see bit crazy...

yanbu I have wondered this many times! My DS is at school and I scurry in drop him off all the mums look pristine. I have wet hair and wear anything clean definitely no coordination going on! and DD is in pjs under her snow suit usually!

No nappies in your little bag Minesril ? That could go wrong one day soon! I used to have to take a change of clothes for tsunami poos, and a change of top for me with dd and DS1, as they were both prone to vomit down me...

Only 1 of mine has been a good sleeper (which at 4 months meant slept 4 hour stretches in my world, so 1 night feed - oldest woke 2 hourly at4 months aand youngest hourly, which continued til he was 13 months, he first slept through at 2.5) but getting out in the mornings has never been a big issue, partly because I have low standards (clean and clothed = ready, dragging a comb through my hair = hair done and no qualms about not having tidied at home before going out) and partly because my kids themselves have never slept much past 5.30am as babies and toddlers - even my eldest doesn't sleep or lie in past 7 am at weekends unless she is properly unwell, and she's 9.5!

Plenty of other things are hard though! If OP wants to go to baby groups she'll find a work around, but if she isn't bothered she doesn't need to "pull herself together", as it doesn't actually matter