WIBU to consider writing to every man in the world

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

To inform them all (probably leave Dh out of the round robin) that I do not want to have sex with them unless and until further formal notice from me?

As it seems that there is such confusion among so many people about the nature of consent I want to avoid putting any of them in the terribly awkward position of wondering whether simply being in the same room as them means they are invited to stick their dick in me.
So is that an unreasonable proposition?

Petula, didn't the bit that you are paraphrasing come from someone saying that the op was arrogant in believing that all men wanted to have sex with her?

Many posters misunderstood a badly worded opening post, from that other posters have inferred that all opposing views were by men or "menz" or apologists.

There are many other posts on the thread that could easily give or cause offense, but (and this was my point) only some of them are deemed "worthy" (my quotation marks/paraphrase) of being offensive.

I...misinterpreted what the Op was trying to say. When I read her...post I thought she was commenting on how often men will try and 'chat up a woman'...I thought that was probably an interesting thing to debate and didn't think it was about rape. I read on and understood it was about rape and I don't think it has led anywhere positive.

Really? I understood what OP said from the beginning TiggyD

Call me a mind reader or what?

It was regrettable that you didn't grasp that immediately, but we live and learn and forgive and forget and I look forward you to joining you into the sunlit uplands of the sexual enlightenment.

I am so glad to know you will not interpret my holding your hand as a come-on.

op is being satirical, surely!

genuine query here. is joining in/making the right noises/responding positively consent? do people really say "do you consent to sex" now? bit of a passion killer surely? id like to think a decent bloke can read any signals that are anything but positive?

sorrh for crap post, tablet is naff :(

GahBuggerit

The problem is that different people understand different things in different ways (as proved by the ops' post). It doesn't always mean that they are not a "decent bloke"/person.

boney i'm not really sure what your point is. you may need to explain more carefully. all you seem to be saying is that some people find some things offensive, others find other things offensive. given that mumsnet is not the borg, it shall be ever thus

I dont mean to offend anyone.
But to be offended about what?
What are ppl (the YABUs) offended about here?

limitedperiod - stop calling me TiggyD!

Can I just say:

a) I got it

b) I am not offended

c) Nice one Amanda

That is all.

Ananda, I think they are offended because they feel you are calling them/their male acquaintances potential rapists.

This baffles me as I said; if I saw a poster telling me to think twice about driving dangerously or saying something racist or whatever, I wouldn't be offended because it personally don't do those things. And maybe I would get new info from some, for example a drink drive campaign showing a vodka shot marked "under the limit" and a large glass of house red marked "over the limit" (I never know about units so tend not to drink at all if driving)

Ok yonic thank you.
So to be offended one has to misunderstand the point.

Thank you flippinada

I apologise profusely MoreBeta.

It's Sunday afternoon. Wine has been taken.

I know you would obviously not take that as licence to rape me. Even if you did find me attractive

I still think TiggyD has a case to answer.

As does Pan, whoever he may be now and whoever cares what he thinks.

You're welcome Amanda - I think you've made your point very effectively!

Petula, that is good part of my point. The other bit is that not getting the joke doesn't make them thick, idiots, men, "menz" or rape apologists.

While you are at it, why not write to all Muslims telling them not to storm buildings with guns? After all, sitting at a desk writing a cartoon seems to some Muslims to indicate consent to being gunned down by them.

Or would that be stupid and offensive? Like the OP.

Its ok. I see that you don't understand the op.
Otherwise you wouldn't attempt such an analogy.

Ooooooh, how wonderfully patronising you can be to those that disagree with yoo.
I understand the OP. And I think it is cloth brained and silly.

YANBU, Amanda
A good, sardonic OP which sets out the ground rules all men should understand and accept. Sadly many don't .

Very interesting to see so many posters are offended by the imagined slur on men
It's not accusing all men; just one of those form letters sent out in bulk, because you can't write an individual letter to every man you might meet over say the next 50 years.

Rape is such a serious crime that it is a very natural human reaction for men to reject the intention of the OPs message because to accept it in a way is a tacit admission that such a crime is something they are remotely capable of.

Women have to speak about rape in a way men will listen to but I wonder if men who are in the mind set to rape would ever listen?

no they probably wouldn't, but it would help if the majority of the rest of the world weren't trying to excuse them for rape (which is also what the OP is about)

Petula - I think that it might be a good idea if there was a really hard hitting video that went to schools so that boys and girls in 5th form really truly understand from real people what rape really is.

Might actually be the sort of 'round robin' that really would do some good.

The letter is a bit like wearing a badge or tattoo that says "no, unless I say yes". It does not accuse anyone of anything.
But I suppose sone ppl might still be pissed off because the wearer is assuming a level of attractiveness, and we know how unpopular that is.
And what would be an acceptable way to talk to men about rape?

I wonder if people get offended by those "you wouldn't steal a car... so stop buying pirated DVDs" trailers on DVDs?