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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get how to take this "gift"

82 replies

Kab13 · 04/01/2015 18:14

Dh decided to book me in to have my nails, hair and makeup done. Lovely (bar me not being bothered enough to spend the whole day having it all done but hey thought was there).
I had to pay for it all. He just booked it.
I know he has the money to pay, he just... Didn't.
Does this count as a gift? Or just giving me the chance to spend my own money?
It confused me somewhat.
Aibu to say something to him (probably really not worth it) I just don't want this urrrr gift again (at the risk of sounding ungrateful)

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 04/01/2015 18:15

How is that a gift?

dementedpixie · 04/01/2015 18:15

doesn't sound like a gift to me if you had to pay.

dementedpixie · 04/01/2015 18:16

Although if it had been me/dh then the money would have come out the same account whoever paid for it

Patilla · 04/01/2015 18:16

That's not a gift. There is no world in which that's a gift.

At best that's secretarial services.

supermariossister · 04/01/2015 18:16

it's not a gift, that's odd. I'd mention it , what if you hadn't had the money to pay for it or didn't want it in the first place

Original poster
Kab13 · 04/01/2015 18:17

It's not is it? He said "I've booked you to have your hair, nails and makeup done" looking all proud of himself...I assumed he'd payed. Turned into a rather expensive day for me. Wonder what an earth he was thinking...
Maybe he's just trying to tell me something :L

OP posts:
Original poster
Kab13 · 04/01/2015 18:18

He knew I'd have the money. We do "share" money but no joint account, that would have made a bit more sense if we had but nope.

OP posts:
WaitingForMe · 04/01/2015 18:19

I'd invoice him. But that's just me.

scarletforya · 04/01/2015 18:19

How would it possibly be unreasonable to say something to him?

Of course you have to say something. Get the money he owes you.

Original poster
Kab13 · 04/01/2015 18:19

waiting that's a brilliant idea.

OP posts:
ShadowSuperNova · 04/01/2015 18:20

That's not a gift.

Mrsgrumble · 04/01/2015 18:20

I would ask for the money

Original poster
Kab13 · 04/01/2015 18:21

It's his birthday soon. Perhaps it be better to earn the money back by ordering his birthday presents on his card.

OP posts:
drivingmisspotty · 04/01/2015 18:21

Hmm have you actually asked him about the paying? In case you have been charged twice accidentally....

You said something in your op about not getting round to taking the time. So was the gift that he had arranged it and was providing childcare so you could go? Stretching it a bit but I would quite like the gift of the secretarial services as I am v disorganised!

SauvignonBlanche · 04/01/2015 18:22

Have you said anything to him about it?

BuzzardBirdRoast · 04/01/2015 18:24

Sounds as though he just wanted you out of the way for a day to me. I hope you got a 'real' gift?

lastnightiwenttomanderley · 04/01/2015 18:24

I agree that using the 'just wanted to check as they charged me but I thought you'd already covered it' approach is best.

Bit of a crappy gift to book someone in and not pay...

MyTeethAreChattering · 04/01/2015 18:24

Return the favour: book him in for a men's back, sack and crack waxing.

Make sure you look proud of yourself when you tell him. Don't pay of course.

FoulsomeAndMaggotwise · 04/01/2015 18:24

I was also thinking you might have been charged twice. Have you asked him?

longestlurkerever · 04/01/2015 18:24

It's kind of a gift if you share money - he was telling you to take some time for yourself and not worry about spending on something frivolous. I would try and look at it positively.

TheWordFactory · 04/01/2015 18:25

Of course that is not a gift!

But worse still I know of someone who gave their DH a little boat (he was a keen sailor) but bought it with a loan that their DH had to repay (she had no income).

Te terms of the loan werent even good.

As my DH says. She gave him a debt for Xmas!

Birdsgottafly · 04/01/2015 18:25

""It's his birthday soon. Perhaps it be better to earn the money back by ordering his birthday presents on his card.""

Order his Birthday stuff from Ebay, then tell him to sign into his PayPal to pay for it.

That's bizarre, especially if there wasn't a paid for night out to follow it.

Unless you never treat yourself from "joint money" and he was encouraging you to do so?

Still very odd.

AnnieLobeseder · 04/01/2015 18:25

What a weird and stupid idea for a "gift"!!! I agree that you should talk to him about it in case you've been charged twice. A conversation along the lines of "Um, thanks for the day at the spa, but oddly, they didn't think it had been paid for and I had to stump up. Did the payment clear okay on your end?" As if it had never occurred to you that you were expected to pay. Because honestly, who would!? Confused

Original poster
Kab13 · 04/01/2015 18:26

Maybe he was offering child sitting a secretarial services. I mean there was obviously thought there. But I never really have All that stuff done so it's not like is usually pay for it all anyway and he's just made it a bit easier. I'd rather have the money or the equivalent in chocolate and cheese.
I did mention sort of jokingly about me paying for it all, I can't remember exactly what I said but it provoked nothing.
I'm now going to have to go back in a couple of weeks to have this bloody nails removed as well.
Christ.

OP posts:
MrsCakesPrecognition · 04/01/2015 18:27

For his birthday, tell him you've booked for him to take the car for a service. And leave him to pay.