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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that my husband kissed another girl at midnight on NYE

129 replies

JanieLovesLuckySocks · 03/01/2015 21:31

We were at a friends for a dinner party on NYE, we had our baby with us who woke up at 11.30 so I was entertaining him on the sofa. At midnight, everyone gathered in the living room, dh was about a foot away from me and baby. I was counting down with our baby then at midnight turned round to hug and kiss dh and he was hugging and cheek kissing a mutual female friend. I was really taken aback.... Is this ok or am I right to be really upset that he wasn't with me and our son at the strike of midnight?

OP posts:
Tobyjugg · 03/01/2015 21:47

So, he kissed some random female and not his wife at the stroke of midnight/ What of it. At midnight on NYE hyou kiss whoever you're nearest. YABTU.

JudgeyHotPants · 03/01/2015 21:48

YABU. Surely it's customary to give everyone a hug and a kiss at midnight on NYE?

awfulomission · 03/01/2015 21:49

It happened. It's eating at you quite a lot if you're posting about it days after.

Unless you have some underlying issues with him I'd let it go now and enjoy my lovely new baby and the year ahead. If you have problems with his commitment/trust, address this immediately before it gets to you any more.

ladymariner · 03/01/2015 21:51

Massive overreaction, I think.

TyrannosaurusBex · 03/01/2015 21:52

DH and I were hosting on NYE, at midnight everyone hugged and kissed, don't think we even got round to each other. We're available to each other 365 nights of the year, so no biggie for me.

awfulomission · 03/01/2015 21:52

And fwiw I'm always on my own at parties at 12 on nye as dh is always working. It's nice if another couple remember this and include me in the hugs etc.

Sunbury1986 · 03/01/2015 21:52

Still waiting for my nye kiss from husband. Not malicious just not dawned on him. Yes I'm upset but it's not worth the brain space. Yes I have cried

MrsKoala · 03/01/2015 21:54

YABU. Personally it wouldn't even register as a possible cause of annoyance.

My mum and dad tell a story about the 1st NYE they were together, at a mates party, and mum turned round to kiss dad and saw him across the room kissing some bloke Grin tongues and all! We all laugh about it.

Blackout234 · 03/01/2015 21:55

YABU and extremely precious

BackforGood · 03/01/2015 21:55

YABU and rather ridiculous. He was about a foot away from you. IME everyone hugs and kisses o NYE when the c,ocks strike.
Your title made it sound ,ike a personalised, full on snog with someone.

ScrambledeggLDCcakeBOAK · 03/01/2015 21:58

I don't think it a massive deal but and I don't know about other couple but do and would actively seek each other out either just before or during the count down so we'd be next to each other for our kiss at midnight.

Dp or me for that matter wouldn't want to kiss another person at the stroke of midnight I don't think but we've never been in that situation so I might be talking sh?te

bringbacksideburns · 03/01/2015 22:00

GINORMOUS Overreaction. I'm sure he was over like a shot soon after.
He wasn't pissed in a smooch with her.

Perspective needed.

Selks · 03/01/2015 22:00

YABU and rather silly, I'm afraid.

ilovesooty · 03/01/2015 22:00

Overreaction really.

Bulbasaur · 03/01/2015 22:01

Yeah, I'm not the "cool wife" in this house hold. If DH kissed anyone other than me period (cheek or not), I'd be pissed off. It's not just a "friendly" thing, he wouldn't be kissing a man on the cheek would he?

The entire point of a New Year's kiss is to kiss the one you love to start the year off right.

In any case, it depends on what boundaries and rules you've already agreed to, as well as the culture over there. If he knows you'd be upset with him kissing another woman on the cheek, he's definitely in the wrong. Here where I live (US) it's not a typical friendly gesture to kiss others on the cheeks that aren't family, so it'd be a known taboo to do something like that.

Pensionerpeep · 03/01/2015 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlwaysLurking38 · 03/01/2015 22:08

I don't think your being unreasonable. There's always a ten second count down to midnight so he knew NYE was coming. Wouldn't of been hard for him to turn around and stand next to you. I'd be really hurt if that was my dp.

Your definitely not being unreasonable

BastardGoDarkly · 03/01/2015 22:08

Ah the old 'cool wife' Hmm

bringbacksideburns · 03/01/2015 22:10

The entire point of a New Year's kiss is to kiss the one you love to start the year off right.

Nah it's not. you kiss kids, your mum, your neighbour, your friend. Not everyone is velcroed to a partner. Some people are single. Some go out alone.

There are far far more serious and sad things to worry about in life than this.

CheeseBuster · 03/01/2015 22:10

bulb you don't let your DH kiss anyone's cheek on NYE? Every party I've been to you have to kiss at least 20 people. It would be very rude not to in my group. So you just kiss each other and that's it?

itiswhatitiswhatitis · 03/01/2015 22:10

over reaction IMHO. Have to confess I have no idea who I hugged and kissed first NYE, fairly certain it wasn't DH though! If it meant so much to you why didn't you get up off the sofa during the count down and stand with him?

Deliaskis · 03/01/2015 22:11

Hmmm...Don't get what the big deal is really. DH and I were at a NYE dinner party, total 12 people, and I think did the full round of hugging and cheek kissing before we got to each other. Wouldn't occur to me to have an issue with it unless there were other issues. The 12 of us are all close friends though an have been for many years so not sure if that affects how I feel about it. Would clearly think it odd if we were celebrating in a pub and he kissed a total stranger!

Bulbasaur · 03/01/2015 22:12

Ah the old 'cool wife'

Sorry, what I meant to say was I didn't have a crushingly low sense of self esteem or self worth to pretend it was ok for my husband to walk all over me and disregard my feelings.

That work better for you cupcake? Wink

Bulbasaur · 03/01/2015 22:14

bulb you don't let your DH kiss anyone's cheek on NYE? Every party I've been to you have to kiss at least 20 people. It would be very rude not to in my group. So you just kiss each other and that's it?

We kiss each other and everyone else gets hugs, glass clinks, and well wishes. We just don't kiss other people on the cheeks, not at any party I've been to at least.

NickiFury · 03/01/2015 22:16

This happened to me once. We were all sat around a table when the countdown began and as it struck midnight my fiancée of the time turned to his left and kissed and hugged our female friend first instead of turning to the right to hug and kiss ME! I have to say rightly or wrongly I was furious.